All Comments on 'Helter Skelter'

I get it. There were a more than a few clever twists.

Jeez again, and the moral / respect line is never come home early unless you can quietly cook breakfast for 3 or more, have a 105 MM howitzer in your garage, and know how to treat circut breakers and cuckolded men.

Cute and coyly packaged but your average dropped nearer the Mendoza line. And since you know that would happen 1 wonders if you were bored or just fell off a turnip truck - again?

You can - you did for the few - and now???

HDK, you know I truly enjoy your stories, in fact many of them are real gems, but this....... I just get the idea that your tongue was firmly fixed in your cheek and that you're really screwing with your fans. Did you get bored and then decide to screw with our heads? LOL Damn well written, but really fucked up.

As always GREAT story HDK!! The ending was definitely a surprise. LOL!!

But the story cries for completion. did the couple move on? Did she stray again? Did he indulge in behavior like hers? Did Jack return to get his revenge? So many unanswered questions that the story, though stand alone, cries out for more, more, more.

You should have posted this one in the humor category - what a riot. Well done once again, HDK. I think you could have some fun with a Part II with this cast of characters.

Some of the story was funny. Some was serious. Some was so depressing it made me want to gag. I assume that the story was supposed to be mostly humorous but it didnt really work for me except in spots. Must have went over my head.

After the story has been up for a few days and everyone who wants to read it has, could someone please explain what I missed. I think there is some sort of twist other than the same thing happening to him that I didnt get.

I understand the part about going around and coming around because he did the same thing to his neighbor that was done to him but it doesnt make the story for me. Was this all a setup by the wife and her boyfriend? Was the husband screwing around first (before he caught the wife)? I really dont get it. At face value, it just seems like a story about a guy getting heaps of shit pilled on him that ends off with him curled up in the fetal position getting kicked when hes down. Doesnt seem that funny to me. Too few funny bits and too many serious bits for me to see the humor in it.

Because I didnt understand most of humor in the story, the ending was also a mystery to me. Did the husband get killed by the wifes violent ex-con lover? That would seem to be where the story is headed based on what the author wrote so far and all the shit that gets pilled on the guy. Again I dont understand how thats very funny. Does he open the door to his house, go inside and lock it, call the cops and sit safe and sound till they show up and throw the guy back in jail (he must have just recently gotten out)? Is the wife waiting inside for him and they (her and Jack) tie him up, force him to watch them fuck for hours, then castrate him?

PS - im not being facetious here either. I dont get it but im not trying to imply that its the story. There is a better than even chance that its me having a blond momment since many of the authors stories lol funny.

Like AverageJoe I must have missed something too,will someone enlighten us both.

I guess the people that normaly enjoy your stories [like me] must really be dumb..uh. I mean, I don't get this story at all at all. Please appreciate your reader base and lower your standards to our level and don't be so pendantic...

Always a fan...but not as erudite as you.

I always look forward to reading your work. This story was no exception. Well written with a clever story line.

However, given that the husband was a confessed skeptic, his first thought would probably have been that this beautiful neighbor/broken air conditioner scenario was a setup by his wife to test/catch him in an affair. To basically replay with the neighbor with what had happened to him to me was hard to accept. I thought that the last thing in the story would have been him waking up in bed alone and wondering if it was a dream or reality.

extreme form. Now my only question is, could this be the wife's way of getting even and involving her boyfriend once he was out of jail, since she happened to be out of town at the time? Or is this only the boyfriend and he just managed to know when she would be out of town? I was really enjoying the story until the ending, I mean the guy's only real crime was to not make a decision to the wife and then, when he's set up, he get's shit on again.

Will there be a chapter two?

I thought this should have been in the humor genre.

I found the story deliciously ironic.

Loved it! DJ

You put everything together with this story. Pretty good in every sense of the word. Style, plot, verbage....etc.....All in all.....should would like to see a conclusion to it. After all, the nemisis Jack isn't the brightest star in the sky. lol

Great way of setting us all up and giving the cuckold crowd a real slap up side the head.

Average Joe you did get it with all the wondering you espoused, you got it all and have to decide what happened next and who set it up. Joe you are not dumb you got it and maybe it didn’t seem funny to you. That’s fine as some of us take things more seriously some time.

This was pure humor and I loved it.

I have been had by a master.

Thanks for the entertainment.

PT

I loved this story, I absolutely loved it.

What goes around comes around and the husband knows it so he jumps out a second story window only to be faced with the man that fucked his wife when he gets home.

There's definitely a second story there.

First off his wife had said he could have affairs until she catches him. If she set it up for him to be with the neighbor it could be seen as her trying to get them past it. Or if he has to confess to it because of his injuries she'll know and it will be over.

Plus there's a confrontation between him and Jack and between him and Ed coming.

I hope that there is a second story coming out of this, it would tie up the loose ends.

As a reader who thinks you are one of the best writers around, I found this story disappointing. Im with Average Joe. There didn't seem to be any point to the story. If it was supposed to be humorous, it wasn't very funny. If it was supposed to be erotic, it wasn't very erotic. If there was a category for irritating, I would nominate this story. It just goes to prove that even the best writers produce a clunker every once in a while. Please keep on writing your good stories. 60 year old George

i don't see the humor - oh, the beginning was funny in a dark way, but the last 1/2, how was it funny?

where was the humor in his wife acting like she was trying to reconcile with him, while really setting hubby up with the ex-con and friends in an elaborate plan to kill hubby?

(and she obviously wanted hubby dead, telling the plotters the exact same senario and words, waiting until the ex-con killer gets out of jail to do it, wifey going on a "trip" alibi just then, probably putting the ex-con in the garage. luckily hubby jumped out the window instead of playing it out, but the ex-con caught up in his driveway anyway.)

and why did their 'friends' participate in this, it doesn't make sense? were they in for a slice of the insurance money, or did the ex-con have a hold on them?

and where did his smarts go?

it is truly a helter skelter story, like the other helter skelter deaths (charlie manson and company).

When I get to the bottom

I go back to the top of the slide

Where I stop and turn

and I go for a ride

Till I get to the bottom and I see you again

A shitty story. The worst you have ever posted. You get a nothing score for a nothing story.

Your story has been reviewed on the New Story Thread on the Authors' Hangout. You can find the thread here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901

If you have any comments about the review please direct them here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901

this story is too confusing. At first, I thought you were thinking of a clever way for the husband to test whether the cheating wife can ne redeemed. After all, the husband will either have to take her back or let her go. Then the husband commits the "same crime" so I thought perhaps the wife had setup her husband to even the score by allowing him a free fling. But with appearnance of Jack and the other husband obviously foul play is in order (especially with the title of the story).

Bottom Line: I did not like the story due to the confusion.

Regardless of the husband's action he was the

victim and the wife appears to be the evil

party.

SleeplessinMD

HDK

Needs a sequel.

this could of been a lot better... the twists and turns came too fast OR the ending was too sudden.

The fact that the Other wife's husband came in and said the exact same thing that the main character said in the beginning of the story has major implications.

Its clear the other wife -- the one with the broken air conditioner that he fucked -- is in cahoots with this guy's wife as is the OTHER husband and the ex con. That is a Pretty BIG conspiracy here....

It also ruins the marriage forever.

The main chracter's wife supposedly gave HIM "permission" to have an 1 night stand or affair... but h the main character did not wnat to do. She end ups getting a STD... but he still cant get over what SHE did.

so she gets together with this other wife and hger Hubby to TRICK the main character???

didn't she give permission.?

Does she have may shame on getting a STD?

Why trick the Hubby after all that SHE did?

Can't believe he fell for that obvious set up. Jack obtained gracious assistance from his friends to dole out some payback. Makes me wonder if Gwen was also in on the deal. Wonderful irony. Thanks.

I don't know why people say it's not funny, unless I missed something I didn't say anything that said it was supposed to be funny. Very clever writing, with a nice twist at the end, not the twist I was expecting anyway. Is there a sequel or is it done?

Great initial ideas ending in chaos…very untypical to this writer’s usually artful construction of surprising plots. Yes, this one surprised me too, only in a bad way. What was the basic premise supposes to be? What goes around comes around? It all collapses at the end. Who was the initial offender? The wife and the lover. Now they get to have the last ‘revenge’ too? Even though they were the instigators of all that crap? So husband gets screwed twice? That’s not shrewd; it’s cruel and worse - pointless. Why would wife turn on husband anyway? She could have just left him –it does not make sense. If wife did not initiate the ‘seduction’ then how did boyfriend know when to show up for the revenge? –it does not make sense. What was in it for the neighbors? – collaborating in a dangerous conspiracy to kill or maim their neighbor??? One big messy mess…

I believe it’s my first zero to this writer -and the heart aches.

You walked the line between a cuckold story and an evangelical revenge story quite well. If you polished this up and developed the plot a bit more you would have one hell of a story.

something different. not quite the quality of Hey Jude, but it still has wit and is cleverly written.

This story, at first, seemed a little offputting - it was strange to imagine such an outcome after the elaborate setup that pointed Our Hero's character in such a different way. And the sudden ending seemed contrived. How would the villain get neighbors to participate in such an elaborate sting? (I ruled out coincidence right away - it was too neatly set up to be anything other than enemy action.) Upon reflection, I decided that the title coupled with the action implied that the hero was dreaming or otherwise impaired, perhaps delusional. It would make for a nice cautionary tale. Thought provoking for sure.

At least it wasn't useual wimp hubby ending. (zed)

Maybe HDK is trying to be subtle in some strange way. Well, I will freely admit, it's all way to subtle for my poor brain.

I'm between Average Joe and Kolkore on this story.

Joe's comment was early on, and I notice no one has yet been able to explain the story as he asked.

Maybe HDK could share some of whatever he was using when he wrote this - it must ne mighty powerful stuff.

Not your usual fare, but what is. Normally, your stories don't need a follow up chapter but this one might.

Boyd

"I don't know the guy. Maybe he's thinking of running for vice president or something."

i see what you did there. LOL. and its a good one, too.

its great to read a story w/ a smartass character and done so cleverly. most readers wont appreciate it, and scratch their head. they are very much used to emotional, angry husband, that yours gets them confused.

i very much appreciate your effort and story.

HDK has given us something to enjoy. In this case, something to puzzle over as well. In contrast to his usual stories, there are many plot elements here we have to make guesses about, although it's easy to deduce that either Jim's wife or Jack Sherwood (or both) are behind the set-up that gets Jim in some serious trouble at the end of the story.

I think the reader who quoted the words to "Helter Skelter" is on the right track: in the song the protagonist starts at the bottom, goes for a ride, and at the bottom "see[s] you again". That is surely what happens to poor Jim, with Jack Sherwood!

I was slightly sorry that Jack's name wasn't Chuck Manson, considering that guy's obsessive interest in this song, but you can't have everything.

Finally: to the readers who said, "this can't be the end, there must be a second story"--well there is. And Jim jumped out of the window of it.

ohio

Jack set him up was his wife in on it?

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

I read this story and had to think a few min after I was done. It was alright, but not up to your usual standards. I can see where this story could go into more depth with a sequal. Even how it could go in different directions. I would enjoy reading how you would resolve the situation. Waas the wife still in contact with her ex-con lover? Was his daughter (Jen?) even his? Seen as how she got pregnant when she wasn't ovualating (according to the story)? Was he set up by his wife's friends? Was the wife's friend in on it? If he was, what was his reward for playing along? There are other ways this could go. All these conjectures are based on wether he lives long enough to find out.

Fun story...

I used to enjoy HDK story as the best of the writers but when he starts the O'Henry satires his stories lose their attractiveness.

the Ct. Yankee

I think you should rewrite the ending of this story. After Jack fixed the AC unit he though about having sex, But went home to be true to Gwen.

At this point he knew how his wife had done what she did and forgave her.

Sorry but this is not one of your better stories!

PLEASE think about rewriting it. That would make it more like one of your good stories.

and I usually enjoy your twists...can't win 'em all...

I have to say I would have never thought it but I've found a story by HDK that I've had difficulty scoring.

For the first time I've found one of his stories that actually deserves a minus score and there's no way you can do that on this site.

Please HDK do your faithful readers a favour either give this story the ending it deserves, up to your usual standard or remove this trash from the site.

But as I may have mentioned I do not score just based on the outcome but how it is written and devised - the hero got just as stupid as his wife - its gonna hurt and serves him right.

married 22 years so it is just a story about an old woman.

One has to think about it...but there was no collusion. Like Ohio said...there was two stories in one!

So I rated it 5*'s Read the story, loved it, but I just hate that fuck-wit. LOL

...but not because I think DWMoron has any credulity.

I get it, and it is a little funny, but I just don't think that a person who was as intelligent, insightful and level-headed in his own crisis would all of a sudden forget his morals and prove that he is every bit as bad as the wife... in fact, worse.

Sort of a fun read, but it just didn't work for me. But thanks for writing, HDK, one day I'll get off my arse and contribute myself.

Very nicely creative and full of irony. Perhaps exagerated but still entertaining though not that amusing in the end.

...I just didn't believe it. It started good, but that ending sucked.

but I don't get it. It made no sense. Was it supposed to humorous or some sort of morality tale about forgiveness and how one can fall? Just not a good effort at all.

this

just stunk

I enjoyed this bit of fluff. Very funny

???????????????????

No stars I see no reason or story here

piss poor

HDK very funny little rollercoaster of a story. Out of the frying pan, into the pot of boiling water!

never forget the rules and the time limits, TK U MLJ LV NV

...what happened, KDK? I still cannot believe you wrote this one - had a bad day when writing it?

That's when I woke up. I don't know how I got home after all those beers, but I was.

When my wife got home that day, I told her I was moving back into OUR bedroom.

I can't stop laughing!!

right up to the point where he had beers with Sandy. Maybe the writer had a seizure and lost track of his thoughts.

Okay, but interesting that he had no compunctions about ruining someone else's marriage after he had his ruined. Lost all concern for him at that point. That broke the tension in the plot and the reality dissolved.

...I agree - fine story until he got fed up with beer. Ok, it was a setup. Nevertheless you turned him around - into a cheating asshole without guts. Letting Jack turn up at the end...oh well...we all make mistakes..Sorry..Usually you rate 4-5.

First of your stories I really didn't like. The turn-around didn't make sense to me. It was way too contrived. I guess you were going for the shock value or something similar?

What was Jack doing there?

Was he there for revenge?

Was Gwen there or was she still on her trip?

Was he there to fuck his wife again?

Who the hell do you think you are, Alfred Hitchcock?

Jack makes him suffer painfully before murdering him. Worthless human garbage like him don't deserve to live. If you stay with a cheating cunt, then you deserve to be cheated on, repeatedly. The only form of life lower than a cheater, is the worthless scum that makes excuses and apologizes for them. By staying, he is basically saying that her actions were ok, therefore, she should feel free to cheat again and again. He deserves nothing less.

Funny how the things we force ourselves to tolerate change our boundaries. He forced himself to tolerate cheating and wound up cheating himself. The company you keep will affect your behavior, especially when it is a cheating wife. I have seen this before in marriages. Once the taboo is broken and not punished it becomes the new normal. I have seen spouses and children follow the bad example of a cheater and morph into pieces of shit.

I thought the Sandy thing was a set-up by Gwen so that she could catch Jim and end the bs.

Lovely plot, yes it does end a bit too soon, leaving lots to our imagination, of which some readers are a bit short of

Chilley

what the fuck was that?

the start was great and funny as hell, but then it rapidly went to shit.

1/5

this writer is. Or should I say Bull lover. This story absolutely sucks worse than any of his or hers that I have read. You aren't still writing, are you?

reminds me of something I might see on a Twilight Zone episode. Brilliant. Five stars.

Wow, what a shame. It was mostly pretty good up until the shit ending. It's like if you on a long trip and were almost at your destination but suddenly decided to go back home. A complete 180. Was going to be a 5, now it's a 1.

I laughed out loud. 5*****. Thanks. tom anon

A fucked up story about fucked up people simply isn't my cup of tea. Most of the author's work I really like, this one though makes me want to demand a refund of the bit of my time and life I wasted reading it.

I have to say it's pretty funny, at least to me. (I just read it again.) Readers seem to take everything seriously. This was a story about irony. He was all upset when his wife cuckolded him, but he did the same to his neighbor. Payback is a bitch! This is not a true story and I am not a Brit, but I still like this story. I love the ending! That's all I have to say on that!

Only the closet cases, my friend, only the closet cases.

I laughed so hard at the end I almost spit beer on my monitor, 5 stars!

Not really.

First, I'll bet his wife set it up so that she could "catch" him, and Sandy got him drunk to take advantage of him.

Then, instead of having his wife catch him so that the ordeal can be over, you have the asshole (who he was SUPPOSED to be keeping tabs on!) turns up,and you leave us hanging as to what happens!

This story was not particularly funny, or even amusing. Ironic, maybe but even then not a great example of irony. Is adultery ever funny? Is watching someone debase themselves and dishonor their family funny? Are train wrecks funny? The Brit comment is directed at this author because Europeans in general have a different view of fidelity, adultery and life in general. That is one of the reasons why European men are allowing their countries to be over run with rapists from the middle east. As far as the actual story goes, the plot took a sharp left and hit the wall at the end as if the author just wanted to end the story. It was a quick and cheap way to wrap it up. It certainly did not fit the rest of the story.

I should say WAS one of my favorite writers. I can't believe I wasted my time reading this. I may never read anything from HDK again. Really? Were you drunk on your ass when you wrote this. You say you think it's funny. Do you really think it is so funny to waste the time of your readers because I don't

Didn't care for this one.

He shouldn't have done to Ed what was done to him.

Wasn't even funny at the end.

I usually love you're writing but this one was a stinker at the end. What the hell ??

Did someone else come up with the ending or did you get tired of writing ?

Boooo ! Hiss ! You're so much better than that.

Hi there peoples! Truly I did not see that coming? PEOPLES please this is LITEROTICA expect the unexpected! Hey the wheels of the bus go round and round! Thanks again! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Don't be surprised if others think you a dickhead. End of story? Jack Sherwood raises a sawed-off shotgun and blasts Jim into eternity. Then Gwen walks up, joined by Ed and Sandy Moore. Ed says, "Let's retire to our house and the four of us establish our alibis. Your husband will no longer interfere in our swapping fun." By the way, Gwen being determined to have an STD was an extremely overlooked consequence of extramarital sex. Most affairs are revealed by a spouse contracting an STD...or being discovered and ratted out by children, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, even strangers in a bar.

Didn't like this one-At-All. But then I didn't like the song either.

This bullshit you can eat

Sucked

I laughed early on, but this one turned a bit dark for my taste....

Still 4 stars for the clever bits and excellent writing....

Really had a good chuckle at this one.

And a nice twist at the end.

HDK is the master at ticking off the no-life, humorless, neckbearded eunuchs that infest the comment section as if it were their very life, which it probaly is!

5* for the laughs, the funny ending, and pissing off the wannabe cucks!

He gave his wife hell when he caught her cheating then, did he FORGET! Then after he's caught jumps out the window breaks his shoulder, then that Fucker Jack (who happens not to be in jail) ask him a question and didn't shoot him? What's the point of this story? Was he dreaming or did he get stupid too? Or am supposed to be a mind reader since there's no ending to this story.

.................Sandy Moore was introduced into the story and HDK's thought pattern went "Helter Skelter" and blew this story up for me.......but I enjoyed it up until Sandy materialized. :-(

This one should be rated much higher.

The ending totally confuses any one tying to read this story.Was he set up?Where Ed and Jack mates.?

the script you used comes back to haunt your existence, TK U MLJ LV NV

What a stupid ending.

Why? 1*

What a dumb ending!

Unfkrtunately not your usual effort.

I get going for a surprise twist but that stretches any logical boundary

As a fan of your work, this was a huge, HUGE disappointment. It's ruined my opinion of you as a writer slightly, and it's not a story I'd ever care to read again

One of this author's best.

I am a real fan of this author, funny, and you never know how his stories are going to end. Great story

I know humor is your thing, but it never really worked.

I'm pretty sure you already read it but on the same subject I prefer whatdreamsmaycome's "The cage".

This was completely unfinished and not funny at all. As a matter of fact most of the time it felt like a bad joke.