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English
Your timeline is out of whack!
They only have one car and she has it until she picks him up for lunch everyday. There is nothing in this story that says that after he drops her off at work at 1:00 PM he usually heads home before returning to work. If he is coming home at his usual time after getting off work at 4:00 PM and would be home until he had to pick up his wife at the end of her shift at 7:00 PM then his wife would know not to conduct her affair at the residence between 4:00 PM and 7:00 PM. The only time he could have happened upon her affair was between 1 and 4:00 PM when her lover picks her back up from work and the husband is NOT USUALLY on his way home!
Your timeline is out of whack!
Confused
YOu really do have me confused on what is happening. I of course, am one who hopes to read that you stay with her and live the life of a cuckold husband.
Your STory
Has been mentioned on the New Story Review on the Author's Hangout.
FtF
Amusing? - not; Confusing? - certainly
I did not laugh (or smile). I wish I could at least understand the ending. Can someone help?
What the...!!!
Absolutely no humor...absolutely no satire! Also, no readable sentances; no use of puntuation marks; pitiful use of English grammer, etc. If one wishes to display any skill at writing whatsoever, let alone something as subtle and mental as humor or satire, one should first learn how to write a coherent sentance.
And the ending??? What the hell was that all about???
Develop some knowledge of the English language, practice writing it, then work on the craft of storytelling before you again try anything like satire or humor.
I was really into this story
I just got confused at the end. I'm not sure what happened. Could someone explain it to me please?
I wondered about the time myself
He came home & found her banging his cousins' hubby. Three hours later he goes to her job and picks her up after work. Did she teleport to work from her bedroom?
A little better editing where is not the same word as were.
I have always found it a little funny that the hubby is upset about the wife telling her lover how great a lover he is and pound it in and how poor a lover hubby is. What do you think she would say to her lover? gee you sure have poor control a wsmall penis and my hubby is much better than you. She says whatever she says to inflate the one she is screwing at the timenot someone who is supposed to be elsewhere.
Broken and disjointed.
Your story has no sense of continuity and I didn't see any humor in this at all, unless you think that spying on your spouse with surveillance equipment is amusing.
WTF
It is stories like this which make me wish that there was a way to rate it lower than "00". I have read bad stories on this site before, but never one as bad and confusing as this. When I find myself saying WTF twice while reading a story, I know it's bad. Just to let you know, I found myself saying WTF five times. This story is way off my badness scale.
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