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English
fuking unbelieveable
Multiple endings suck.
Please
Just skip to the part where Gary catches this whore and skins her alive with a dull rusty knife.
Okay, an interesting idea gone horribly awry.
JPB, as you know I have a gruding respect for your writing. I don't usually like the themes, but I always read your stuff! :-) The idea here was interesting BUT, somewhere you lost track hence we lost track. Since only 2 and 5 have 'b' sections to them you might have wanted to make this 2 separate stories or have witten one entire story and then promptly published the alternate. Right now, I can't keep track of much of anyone save Jake and "what's her face" the female lead! And she is pretty uninteresting, to be fair.
Also, the husband Gary or Greg or Doofus, whatever you call him: he is a ghost in this. We know nothing about him. I must ask, is he even a part of this story? Other than the occasional blowjob he gets, this guy just wanders in and out of the story lie he looking for the men's room. (Which I would be too, if only to find a place to barf)
Now, what I am hoping, is that he is really much more cunning than he appears. Machievillian-like, he was aware of Jake's pecadillos and has used it and his wife to get the vice-presidency. Once obtained, he fucks ol' Jake right in the corporate asshole sans vaseline! That would be a good twist. But right now, this guy is soooo stupid and inept that I wouldn't trust him to walk my dog to the corner for a good healthy shit!
This is why the lower than usual score, Bob.
But I will be looking for your next installment.
Best regards,
Chagrined.
Providing a title for the comment for 4, 5a b
What was just "ok" in the first chapters has really gone to the point of not worth posting when you have to do the sex with different races to make it interesting.
Can be a new genre of different paths in the same story, but with all the people flying around in your stories it is confusing as everyone is not going to start out from the beginning.
If you are going to go this route just write one story from now on and give it a 1000 endings.
5qvs5b
5a is longer and more predictable. 5b has a great nasty twist.
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