All Comments on 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling Ch. 02'

You both are doing excellent. Great work again and NOW where is #3!!!!!!!!

Red

The tantalizing build up from chapter one carries over and explodes in this chapter. Amazingly hot. Fantastic sex, and the characters and relationship keep getting more complex. Chapter three .... where is chapter three?

That was one of the best cocksucking scenes I've ever read on this forum. Never mind smoking hot, you two are on fire and it's burning down everything in sight. I love the way the expectations of the the characters AND of us readers have been thrown off. Devlin thought he was going to top and so did we...yet Joel's taken control. And Joel thought he was going to just serve Devlin's needs and so did we...but he's more in control than he thinks, and aiming to have his way.

You've got these two sparking like flint and iron, not only in sex and sexual needs but in personalities, wants and desires. And it's brilliant!

And I love the Birkenstocks.

This story just keeps getting better - I can't wait for capter 3 - nudge, nudge - know what I mean?

Very good character descriptions - I am so in love with them both and am dying to hear what happens next.

I love how we get to hear the two very different accounts of what happened. It is very telling how something one finds important is only mentioned briefly by the other - feels very real.

And the sex is so tender and hot that I just surender myself completely...

the characters and the intensity of action/feelings makes me dive in , wanting more!'

The enire take control scenario or not being in control is very powerful in this story..sucked me in, holding me there, almost more intensly than the last chapter.

Wondering already about chapter 3..

Nice job you two..kisses to both.

Joey

yeah thats about it OMG! Wonderful just wonderful

"his hips rolled in the uncontrollable rhythms of ecstasy..."

Another hot chapter! And I love the characterization and plot twists! - Dru

Good, complex character development enriches the HOT SEX realistically described. Some of the point-of-voice switches make for redundancy, but on the whole this story is moving splendidly. I really am touched by these men (hetero as I am).

OOOOHHH!! You do sooo good. Can't wait to read the rest.

"I want to explore every aspect of you, sexually. I want to taste and feel every part of your body, every curve and muscle. "

OMGOGMOGMGM YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This story is a win :D

Oh wow!!! Your artful use of words and imagery pushed me over the brink right along with the boys! What a truly breathtaking story. I cannot wait to continue reading

I get all weal kneed misting re-reading Devlin's response. Might have to take a cold shower before moving to the next chapter, just to keep from exploding.

I love the honesty. Joel knows what he wants and spits it out; Devlin makes it clear he's open for a relationship if they like what they see once they get to know each other. He doesn't make promises he can't keep.

C'est charmant, vraiment charmant!

Je suis fasciné par votre histoire!

Usually the point of two narrator telling is not in order to tell every bit twice. Ideally you decide for each part of the story whose narration is most important and use that narrator. When the import shifts to the other narrator then you change voices.

I find myself skipping half if this story because I don't need every scene twice to get the idea.

If you want to be in both characters heads at once use an omniscient narrator who speaks in third person (he, she, they, not I, or me). Then you can tell what anyone is thinking at anytime without having to plot the story twice.

Initially, it was Dev who is predatory and it was Joel who fantasized about getting fucked and dominated. But when they are having sex, it sort of switched. It was now Joel who was in command and wants to fuck Dev. I find this confusing. It made unsure of what the characters' true desires so far. It was just their first intercourse, so shouldn't they be acting based on their fantasies first? Characters' desires change, of course, but not this early in the series.