Forgotten Love: The Beginning

good start

This being your first story you've made a good start keep up the good work.

an edit in progress

Not a bad start, I enjoyed it but I have one gripe. Not that it is a big one and many writing here have made the same mistake; "site" does not have a lot to do with vision, it deals with a location, "sight" is the word that one would use if refering to how someone or thing looks. Also not to be confused with "cite" which means to quote or refer to.

I now return you to the comments in progress.

Like I said, not a bad start for your first story here, I'll be looking for the next installment.

Not to bad

This is a great start. I do agree that you should have your work edited, I saw a few things but other than that I thought the story line was pretty good. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

Building site?

I liked the characters you introduced and am looking forward to your next episode. The only downer for me was the constant misuse of the word "site" when you clearly meant the word "sight". If you are unsure, please have someone who knows the difference check out your work. I had to stop reading at every instance, mutter to myself in aggravation before continuing. Spell checking won't help you here because both are legitimate correctly spelled words. Please don't let my little quibble deter you from writing more. I think you are talented and show great potential.

Chance Encounter!

Stacey looking to buy a table goes to the wrong address. Finding an almost naked Fireman just out of the shower, they become acquainted. Within a short time two people who have never met before find themselves engaging in that age old erotic activity.

Really enjoyed it

I really loved everything about this story. The chance encounter I think is one thing every woman fantacizes(sp?) about.

The characters were well described and every detail was well described.

The best thing you could do with

this story is to slow down. How many women do you know in this day and age are going to walk into a man's apartment that they don't know no matter how gorgeous. Build some tension and excitement if you're going to do romance. Not bad for a first try.

A mistake...

Who would have thought that a little mistake in buildings could lead to a hottie?! Great job! I'd love to see more! Sometimes, the moment takes you and you can't fight it.

Total fucking rubbish by A Wanker

Clichéd.

It's been done before - instant sex a couple of hours after meeting.
You need to flesh out the characters more and give them some chacter other than fucking machines.