All Comments on 'A Note For Three'

Drivel.

I think that as you become more comfortable writing erotica, you will blossom. There are, of course, some things that need to be addressed. When reading this story, I found it hard to follow in some parts (perhaps more detail is needed to explain how Alex met the second man, where, etc.), and how John the virgin suddenly was in the middle of a three way sandwich.

Also, I think it will make it easier on your readers if you stick to names with different first initials for your readers. I was frequently confused by trying to get the characters right (was it Alex or the other character that shoved their cock in John's ass?, for example). You don't want your reader to be confused while they're reading - you want your words to paint a picture before their eyes that will get them off.

I would recommend using an editor here on Lit. While I myself have never used one, I could probably benefit from it, as can you. An editor will help you identify areas that need more explanation, grammar changes, etc. They won't change the story though.

It takes a lot of guts to post something for the first time, and you did a good job. You need to decide for yourself if you will listen to what feedback you get. My advice is ignore the negative feedback, appreciate the positive feedback, and be open minded to constructive feedback. Good Luck!

Not bad if it is your first story. It is an interesting premise, but needs more development. I must say that it was difficult to keep track of what was going on. At one point I thought Adam was fucking himself. Took a lot of re-reads to somewhat sort it out. That is not something I usually take time to do...I usually just move on to other stories.

Like I said, this could have been an interesting premise but you need to flesh it out more and actually explain who your characters are.

Not bad for a first try. The suggestion about getting an editor is a good one. A better structure for your story would help immensely.

You have a good start here. I would spend some more time defining not only the characters, but their actions. Spend a couple extra moments explaining who is doing what.

Something that might help is mapping out the story before you begin writing. It would give you a chance to set an order for the action within the story. From there you can focus on enhancing the details.

Keep in mind that an audience is looking for sensory images. They want to know what to see, feel, smell, and taste. When you are describing situations, actions, or people, use the sensory images to help the audience move through the experience.

Proofreading and editing is a must. By finding any grammatical or plot errors yourself, you provide a more enjoyable reading experience for your audience. The audience will not be caught up in the errors. Instead, they will be caught up in the story.

Great idea for the plot! You are on your way!