Is this a story or is this something to make us feel sorry for Negroes?, (Because I don't)
by
Anonymous11/28/08
Comment
I didn't even read the whole thing....I couldn't get past the first thousand words about the troubles of black people....ease up on that stuff, this isn't the right place for it at all.
The story was ok, but it was kind of bland. The sex was boring, the story was uneventful and their was barely any passion.
by
Anonymous02/23/11
Tenses. Tenses...
The story kept swapping between past and present tense, it was extremely confusing.
Boring sex.
needs more detail on the sex.
Needs a lot of improvements on the whole... but it has potential to be a pretty good story :)
English
Confused!
Is this a story or is this something to make us feel sorry for Negroes?, (Because I don't)
Comment
I didn't even read the whole thing....I couldn't get past the first thousand words about the troubles of black people....ease up on that stuff, this isn't the right place for it at all.
...
The story was ok, but it was kind of bland. The sex was boring, the story was uneventful and their was barely any passion.
Tenses. Tenses...
The story kept swapping between past and present tense, it was extremely confusing.
Boring sex.
needs more detail on the sex.
Needs a lot of improvements on the whole... but it has potential to be a pretty good story :)
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