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Well you did it! Bravo!
What a fucking waste of my time and trouble! This is the WORST ending I have ever read! I mean the WORST. You had so many places to go, so many things you could have done. you pick the most transparent, bogus, bullshit one of them!
The fuck scene was throw away, the characters would have had to struggle to be 3 dimensional, the ending rushed.
Well, I won't waste my time reading your stuff any longer. It is not that you write poorly, you don't. It is that you have so little respect for the people that read your drivel you can't even try to write a decent story. This was a spit the eyes to everyone who read this.
How does it feel to have so little respect for your talent and the people you try to share it with? I just feel so sorry for you. Pity,plain and simple.
C
you write this shit and get out there
and can't get back. over the hill and don't no how to endit.she whored and whored ,but you let her off the hook.you her get away clean and that why people hate your writing.
Let me get this strait
She was sleeping with multiple partners and she has the gall to blame him???.They both cheated but we are supposed to believe it was all his fault she did what she did.NOT IN THIS LIFETIME.
Bob
wagon tongue
Your stories are always a great read. I hope to read your submissions for several years.
You could have done better.
I think if you had taken your time to develop the story line this could have been much more interesting.Where now? Perhaps a chapter from John's perspective, explaining why he behaved as he did might tie the story together. As it stands it is simply a few romps in the hay.
Good man
Dear bob,
The world would like to thank you for sharing your literary skills.
People are especially happy that you absorb all my disdain for ass wipes.
can't wait for your next page of literary "runs"(I didn;t know how to spell diaria)
Damn! I was hoping the author was dead by now
I can see that this retard is still writing this crap
7 chapter of shit to figure out what we all knew was going on in chapt2
weak ending but not as bad as the sexist comments
I guess you threw in the scene with the pimp for a sex scene but it would have read better without it. I have to agree that you needed to do more fill in of plot on this one as it feels like you just decided to end the story and cranked it out. One weak point is why Annie had never bumped into him as one of whores sent it would have made a more interesting storyline.
Perhaps some of the readers should remember that in most places being a john is as criminal as being a whore. What makes what she did worse than what he did. He broke the marriage vows neglected his wife wasted their money and yet all you fuss about is what she did. She stayed faithful to the marriage for longer than him and from the read would have stayed his dutiful wife at home with little money little interaction with the outside world and happy to serve as his servant both for keeping house and sex if he had just shown her proper attention.
It really irrates me to come to a free website and have folks complaining about authors who write for free. Where the hell do you folks get the gall to come to a porn site and fuss about someone writing porn. Complaining about writing style in a constructive way like more plot or do spellcheck is one thing but fussing about reading stories based on cheating wives etc on a free porn site is sheer stupidity. I have jumped ship and do much of my reading elsewhere now due to the readers here trying to edit what is submitted to only maledom. If you want to read about faithful wives and happy endings go to a non porn site or read one of the authors here that writes like you like to read.
I will quit fussing now and stop posting but Literotica has changed and not for the better if you ask me.
Fallen Angel
pay for play or play for pay
Love this set of stories, shows everything the husband got except some creampie which he deserved. Some sexxy little "Desperate Housewife".
Sexist comments, my ass!
Sexism is getting like racism, a card to play. Don't like when someone doesn't agree with a secular humanist standpoint, call him a sexist. Yes, I am a sexist. I admit it. Unabashedly. And we are on the upswing. Women should stay at home and makes babies, preferably manchild. :-)
Fallen angel now goe to read at other sites. Newsflash! No one cares and no one misses your useless ass! You need some cheese to go with that whine?
C
I'm with Chagrine
Just Plain Stupid should be your new name.
As I said before, stick to the short stories...it appaears your intelligence cannot sustain beyond one page.
Chagrined too!
The same can be said for you -- won't miss your sorry ass either.
Ahhhhh
The grand finale! All the characters need killing, no redemption for any of them.......but in this case, the messenger needs shooting!
not so bad!
JPB -- Perhaps this series is not your best work ever, but it's not so bad. I rather enjoyed it, although some parts were a bit predictable. Unlike some of the preceeding comments, I thought this final chapter (we presume) was actually pretty darn good. If nothing else, it nicely wrapped up the story, and justified the position of the protagonist.
Does "real life" happen like this? Well, let's hope not (for the sake of society); but then, most novels and most movies don't either. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
-- KVK
Interesting Story
An abrupt ending to a good series. I was wondering when the husband would show up as a client and it happened.
I would have liked a couple of more chapters with exploits with the "mom", perhaps a gig or two with Annie involved, and perhaps a follow-up with "shannons" life after the divorce.
John was a certified sob "whose parents obviously never married". neglect a wife and a woman scorned is dangerous and unpredictable!!
All in all a great series. It kept my interest and I am looking forward to more stories by JPB :-)
Tom
Series, Series, Series
When does the next series in the story start? Does she tell that, "someone special who convinced her they have a future together" that she's a whore or does she deceive him or her as well?
Of course John had to cheat too
Otherwise, this bozo wouldn't have a clue how to end it.
blue area
once again you have the text in the blue area so we just dont read your stories anymore
Story Problems
Like several of your stories that go into the colored margin which are very hard to read.This woman has a lot of gall to through dirt in her husbands face and lie about having a PI following her husband?If I were him I would have had her watched,things were too sweet...
John
I hope John hunts her down and murders her, slowly, brutally, very messy, a dull edge weapon!
wish i would have skipped this series
most of your stories i can at least like or sympathize with one of the characters...in this one you have made them so cheap and selfish that i couldn't care for either....i kept thinking "...she is gonna get hers in the next chapter...", but story ended up being one SOB beating the other to the punch but neither deserved more that a good strong kick in the crotch...not your best effort because i believe for a story to be truly strong you need to have some feeling for a character...these characters all deserve the shredder...
Very sad emotionless repetition
Well JPB you sure didn’t put much effort into this series at all. It was quite awful on it’s whole. The ending I guess was just a way to find some kind of a preposterous finish. You normally write quite well even though I only have found a hand full I personally like.
I guess you may be getting a bit worn out or frustrated.
Very disappointed by the repetitious story line and nothing new per chapter.
I won’t go into a rant about the subject matter and absurdity, as it is very apparent. I hope you have some release of emotions writing this series, as I cannot figure out what would be those emotions other then hatred of woman and the men they fuck over again.
Disappointed
Peggytwitty
Taking Care of a Partner's Needs
So many negative comments on a well written series? Not on the story but on its theme? So why are you reading? The Jewish Talmud (which covers everything!!!) suggests that a man shouldn't overdo sex with his wife -- just once a day except for special occasions. Once a day!!! If a man takes a second wife he is not allowed to diminish the sexual loving he provided his first wife -- otherwise she can demand a divorce. A wife who "has a headache" frequently gets her walking papers. "Use it or lose it" applies just as well to a loving relationship. Once John had gone derelict on his loving it is not so surprising that his neglected wife would seek solace elsewhere. I'm not saying that this is the way to go... but don't be so fast to condemn her. In this case, though, the stories themselves deserve a lot higher mark than those who seem to disapprove of her behaviour are giving them.
Redress the Balance
Well written and interesting to read.
Marking low because you don't agree with the character's views, actions, religion, morals etc etc is really not on. It would follow that a well written story about, say, Jack the Ripper would receive a score of 0 regardless of its merit.
I usually find that Bob is a good writer, but if I sometimes lower a score it is because he has a tendency to finish a story abruptly and most readers would prefer a conclusion to be well spelt out.
Thanks Bob - keep going!
I Just Have To Ask
What about the mother and son issue?
good not great
I have to wonder if her earnings were put into the communal pot for division. I have no sympathy for her, obviously divorce is preferable to cheating, especially whoring. Of course her husband wasn't much better. Both selfish and self centered jerks.
Too Many Hanging Questions!
Good story line, but the issue of why the husband used escorts even before he cut off his wife from sexual intimacy, and why he cut her off totally was never satisfactorily answered. The story suggests that he had control obsessions, so that is what the reader is left with. Is that what you intended JPB? Dan
Were we to accept that the husband was really that dumb?
Hubby may have been paying to play, but he would have realized very quickly what was happening and gotten a good attorney. Once it was established that his wife was a whore and working for Jim, he would have gotten a much better split on the assets, given that Jim would have done anything to protect his business. And the wife would have wanted to avoid both the scandal and possible jail time. I think you ended this story incorrectly.
Well it had to crash and burn somehow
And your ending was a small possibility. I just don't see John as someone that would roll over that quickly. I'm thinking John had Shannon's real phone number if she was his regular girl. And I bet it didn't take him 10 minutes to put 2 and 2 together to realize his wife was a whore. Which meant he and his lawyer would have had a meeting with Jim and soon thereafter he would have been getting ALL of the marital assets so that Jim and the bitch would stay out of jail. Sorry. I just didn't like your ending where she got off scott free.
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