what could the wife possibly say? "My Boss forced me?" or maybe this one " If I didnt fuck him he would fire me?..."
why would anyone believe that shit? she want up to the Boss and kissed HIM at the hotel... Hubby saw that... and all the times he was trying to get her to open up... she just lied right to is face... no sign of uncertainty or confusion
An excellent story line, well conceived and very well written. I agree with the previous poster -- I think that your "Consequences" series has that "real world" feel to it, unlike much of what appears here.
Likely outcome, though I wonder why she felt she wanted to stray, as it makes it a complete story even with stupid reasons by her.
Good entertainment
by
Anonymous08/11/06
that was a great speak,but what happen next
you gave us this long drawen out story about when you meet and leading up to the affair.now what happen after you and her finally talked.some happen after the divorce.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
concur with the last reader
this kind of story, though potentially good, leaves the reader hanging.
if it was told far enough into the future, with the narrator NOW happily married to someone else or has had enough of a time to truly heal and to have moved on, if not in marrying then at least in dating, then it's not a hanging story;
but as it is, the reader is as likely to find that the guy, in the next chapter, reads: "She came home and we talked and, despite my initial thoughts, she was crying so much and I still loved her so much --- you can't just turn love off like a switch, you know? --- I decided to forgive her," etc., etc.
but that would go against most readers, because the author had already established a clear-cut case in which a wife, a spouse, as even the HUSBAND/narroator said, DELIBERATELY and heinously violated a set of matrimonial vows sacred to him. allowing someone like that back into one's life means two things: you think it WAS OKAY she/he violated you and your principles, the FIRST TIME, they did it; and you RE-ITERATED, by accepting them back because of WHATEVER reason they said, that HER ACTIONS WERE FORGIVEABLE,,, (because "extenuating" circumstances?: "he said he'd fired me if I didn't..."; "I was too lonely and he was there and you're not..."; "he made me forget the 'real world' and our marriage; but you'r ethe only one I truly love"; "it's only sex and bodily fluid exchange...")
the story IS good; it's just the open-ended part didn't give the reader a sense of whole, a sense of finality to it. only two outcomes would blemish this kind of story: accepting some as calculating as that back, simply because they cry croc tears, and NOT able to move on because, "God damn it, I loved her so much!"
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Very good BUT Incomplete
I really enjoy reading your stories and the majority of them seem to have depth and close with no loose ends. This story is very good as far as it goes but I was left with a sense of it being incomplete. The ending seemed to fade and to be lacking substance. The best way to describe reading this story is like eating a steak dinner and not being fully satisified because you never got dessert and a cup of coffee. Please consider re-writing the ending or adding to this story to really make it complete.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
weak
you would need photo evidence, and he didn't get it.
not so much for the divorce, but for the lawsuit against the corp and the boss. he is gonna lose.
and it was only a Clayton's ending.
Is there a real one somewhere?
Was the guy born who really wouldn't want to know?
I know a few will post here that they didn't/don't, but not many will believe it.
This was a narcissistic couple, totally self centered. I think it was very consistent to have him just walk away. Their world consisted of the two of them, nothing more. No mention of friends or family, no desire for children... all their activities are shared only with each other. Frankly, I have a bit trouble even seeing love in these profoundly flawed folks.
This was a very well written minimalist story... I didn't like the couple, but I've met some folks like this. I very much enjoyed the writing.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
WOW
As usual, an excellent story. I am fascinated by the rationale people use to justify cheating. A follow up with her side of the storey would be greatly appreciated.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
enjoying
Enjoying your consequences series, I would wish a little longer, but still enjoyed them. Keep them up.
Tim
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Warning Label Required: Dull belongs in Non-Erotic
OK, the truth is, if you don't get it, that the vast, vast majority of us come here not to be "lectured to" about "consequences," but to be titilated while reading erotica and jerkin' off. Is this a "loving wife?" No. Is this erotic? No.
You tryin' to be Dr. Phil, or what?
Your writing's not bad. Not great. Just so-so. So if it's not great literature, there already is a Dr. Phil, and it's not sexy and stimulating, what was the point?
You want to be a "writer?" Fine, get an agent and try to land a deal with a publisher. Good luck.
Sorry but here's what this is like for the majority of us pervs who weed through so much crap to try and get a sexual high out of this: We got a nice hard-on and are going from story to story and then, we come across one like yours and you waste our time, and it's such a bummer.
Maybe you should try to peddle this tripe at Cosmo, or Today's Woman, or Parade Magazine, or somewhere that's G rated.
Yeah, you could delete this comment, but why don't you let others comment on it. Maybe they'll be on your side and pump some air back in your balloon.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
A beginning to story
Celt,
This story, until now, is excellent. I am not sure that you are continuing the story which, to me, clearly seems unfinished. I mean that there are a number of good reasons for her actions of the previous might with her boss, and these might related to her mentioning to her husband that she might soon not have a job with the company. Please continue the story.
RAG
Do not mind if there is no sex as long as the story is complete and interesting. This story leaves me feeling unsatisfied. The ending just fades away so either end it better or do another chapter that wraps it all up - too many loose ends.
by
08/11/06
Consequences - good title!
If this then that! Makes sense to me.
A follow-on to peggytwittys: the question is not just why would she stray, but why would she want to stay?
She knowingly lied to his face and continued the infidelity when he had made it very clear what the consequences would be.
Did she think being out of town was like a bullet proof vest?
I liked the story and the writing a lot.
Regards, DJ
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Almost but not quite
Celt:
While some here read only to stimulate the callouses on their hands, many others of us find your stories entertaining. Your stories are plotted well and written well. However, I, as some who have commented before me, felt somewhat unsatisfied after having read this. This story reads like an excerpt from a much longer one. Okay, he caught her cheating...but why did she cheat? You tell us that these two have had an idyllic marriage for twelve years...so what happened? You relate how their careers have flourished and how each was so highly regarded in his/her field...does this eliminate her being coerced then because of a job situation?
There has to be more to this story and I do hope you'll post it. Thank you for a fine effort.
I have liked most of your stories, but this one was left a little too open for me... The end is reminiscent of many of Just Plain Bob's, just a little short.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
To Anonymous in the US of A
I remember you now. You're Mr. "Tin Man" married to "Mary Five Fingers" that owns the delapidated house on the corner with trash bags and chicken bones strewn all over your yard! Every time I walk by your home I'm constantly assaulted with the sounds of
"Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yik e,Yike,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah!
I have always enjoyed your writing and stories. A big reason for that is the quality of the writing and the thought and effort that went into the stories. Individuals are given depth and character and story lines are well thought out and complete. Some may have complained that you are a reconcile at any cost author, yet that is ok with me.
With the first 2 entries in your consequences series, Erin and Eve, you seem only to be writing a 2 dimensional story. The background of the couple, the loving life they enjoyed, the cheating that occurred and then the confrontation and obligatory divorce threat by the husband.
As Paul Harvey is famous for saying "...and now for the rest of the story". Where is the rest of the story? Please get back to writing 3 dimensional stories. It is sometimes appropriate for an author not to complete an ending to a story so that the reader can envision what might happen to the characters, but if your first 2 consequence stories are an indication, it appears that that is what you are going to do for the remainder of the series. I hope I am not correct in this assumption.
Another observation. The only consequence you seem to be focused on is the breakup of the marriage, which is the most obvious. There may be more consequences that occur as a result of an affair. Consequences to jobs, children, family relations, friendships, finances, etc. I think if you are going to deal with consequences of infidelity you should cover all the issues and not just the marriage.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Not Finished
The story needs more, it's very good so far. Try her side and what they did after the BIG D.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Doesn't seem like it's all done
It's been said before. This story seems to be well short of the whole tale.
When thecelt finds out your pretending to be him..
He's going to be really pissed off.
(^_^)
Just kidding celt, way to go a different direction in your writing. I know it surprised me. And surprises like this is what keeps me reading from some of the better known authors here.
But I sorta agree with a few other folks here. You spent a lot of time developing the characters. You went indepth with their lifestyle, thier likes and dislikes, and even how much they enjoy their lives together. But when the husband starting to suspect his wife was cheating the story kinda petered out fast.
I liked the fact that the husband went "I didn't have much experience at this spying stuff." That was a nice touch. Made him seem more like the average guy instead of a kung-fu spying master. That he was struggling to come up with clever ways to spy and failing but still doing the best he could was done really well and enough that people quickly accepted that because it felt real to them, and no one focused on it. That was a good touch.
But the story seemed matter of fact in the ending. Don't get me wrong, there didn't need to be any begging or groveling done by either party, but some reasoning, even if its how the divorce went or how his and her life changed after 12 years of being together would have helped make sense of why. One person, or even couples, both just don't wake up one day and "BAM" they are totally different people with no reason behind why they changed.
Even though you suggested it was a gradual change, we don't know why. Was her boss really getting all the sex she used to give her husband or was he working her till she was too tired to even breathe, and then later he recouped her time with a few trips visits out of town, where she could let loose with just him along? See we don't know.
Great story otherwise, just a few loose ends here and there.
Oh and Josephus I have to disagree with on a point or two >=)
Not having kids for some folks is a good thing. It doesn't make you self centered. I have 3 kids, but I have known people who have had kids and I can't count the times I asked myself why they do. They seem abusive and heartless towards their kids.
To me its better that people who feel they won't be good parents not have any kids, than people who want kids and later treat the kids badly as "bad" parents. I'm sure each and every one of us know of people like this. Personally I respect people who say "I'd make a bad parent" so that's why I don't have any "more" than I do people who have kids and treat them badly.
While there is no sex in this story, it is a good one that shows how sick our society is. I don't believe it necessary to explain myself on this rating other than to say that unless she got pregnant, she did not really do anything out of the ordinary that adult human animals might want to do.
by
Anonymous08/11/06
Crossing I's And Dotting T's or is it ---
You know it's puzzling. We ask the writers for lifelike scenarios and you give them to us in the "Consequence Series". But then some want the outline checked that all the answers are fully explained. You can't always have it both ways. Life isn't formula driven.
Life is inexplicable at times. It doesn't always stay on the expected track and thats what makes it life - and interesting - plus sometimes challenging and satisfying or disturbing. Jeez you know this.
I guaranty you that if you asked 100 men, why their wife decided to cuckold them numerous times, many would say that wasn't important - they really didn't care why - just that they did and were thankfully caught. Nobody wants to hear all the bullshit lies as to why, but some need to hear them to put it to bed once and for all - if possible.
Ask 100 women why their husband long term cheated on them and many of them wouldn't care to know - that it really didn't matter - that they didn't want to hear all the false reasons but some listen to it to try to put it to bed if possible.
As a reader, we can't always expect life or consequences to always be predictable or explained as that sometimes doesn't mirror life. In a reconciliation scenario it is manditory for any chance of staying together, however in a long term infidelity it isn't ""unless you are a masochist wanting to dwell on the what if's"".
And so Author - Impressive work - more at interval is hoped for.
I give this a 75 because it is well written and tend to grade highly on that. However, Celt, I have to agree with the others: Erin never really did explain why she felt she needed to do this. Did she wake up one morning and decide while brushing her teeth "I think I will fuck up my life. And while I'm at it, I might as well take my hubby and boss with me!"
While people do do a myriad of really stupid ass shit for a variety of really lame reasons, there ARE reasons (or excuses). They may be weak, but they are there. You never told us why this Erin felt she wanted to do this, especially when she had to know that she may have been discovered. The ending was weak. You put a lot of time into getting us into the story and then hubby just leaves. That is ok; many of us would have done. But you didn't round out the story. Was Erin chargrined at her actions? (Yeah, that was contrived :-))) What happened to her? Did hubby just wander off into the sunset?
Bring us more but this time round it out; give us a beginning and an ending. While you should always leave us wanting more, this ain't exactly what is meant. :-)
Don87... I take exception to being called an animal. Maybe the people your know are, but I am not.
by
Anonymous08/12/06
Agree with others
I think it was too quick and it leaves a lot out as others have said.
by
Anonymous08/12/06
One of the majority
You always write extremely well but I have to agree with the majority that the ending left a lot to be desired. You did a beautiful job of describing their ideal marriage during which time they played together, loved together and wre completely compatible in every way. Even your discovery of her adultery was very well dne as well as the dialogue associated with it. I am one of many, apparently, who are disappointed by ending in which in which husband says goodby with total lack of communication. Sure she was totally wrong, but after 12 wonderful years together it seems that there should be some discussion about the dissolution of the marriage. What happened --why-etc? i know he asked all those questions and got no answers before he proved she was cheating, but I still would love to see your description of final discussion between them. 60 year old George
by
Anonymous08/12/06
need for more
this story begs for a second chapter to explain why sne treated him like she did
so she can tell her story. Of course, if it is just a story, then it's still goodbye. If it's the old "It was only sex" shit then, goodbye.
BUT he needs to allow her to explain her actions. Something that belies the infidelity. I don't see how, either, but maybe.
I do not think the story needs a second part, in that she cheated and broke her vows. Paul said it correctly in that Erin made her choice to cheat. It does not matter if she was cheating with Addison willing (as in a lover) or if she was cheating with Addison to keep her job (Is any job worth cheating?). She had made her choice to cheat and it was the wrong choice. She will have to live with the consequences.
That said however, if in some twisted way she did not cheat then we have a totally different story, which may or may not fit within the “consequences” series depending on how the story is written.
by
Anonymous08/12/06
The Other Side?
I am enjoying your consequences series I hope you keep them up:)
All the cries for a sequal to this tale - none is needed. You could write another tale from her side. It still would be part of the conseqences series or it would fit in well.
You must have a huge following judging by the comments you receieve and the speed at which they come in :)
by
Anonymous08/12/06
I have to agree ...
with the majority of commenters. In your last story Consequences-Eve we knew why she did it. It was a piss poor reason but at least there was no unnecessary mystery. Even if Erin had said in her parting remarks "I did it because..." we would know something. Given the shortness of the overall story I did not want the tearful, silly final confrontation with Paul. Let me see if I can come up with some excuses for Erin's infidelity.
(1) Erin says " I cheated because I found out that Addison was part of a terrorist cell planning to set off a deadly chemical disaster. Tens of thousands of people would have die so I contacted the FBI. They convinced me to get close to Addison so I pretended to be interested in him sexually and I told him that you could not satisfy me. I felt so dirty after sex with him that why I did not want to taint our love by making love to you immediately afterwards. The Toledo trip was the last time because the FBI got enough evidence to arrest the whole cell. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
(2) Erin says "I cheated on you because Addison is terminally ill and he always wanted to be with me. I owed him so much because he was the only one in the company who was willing to give a woman engineer a chance. The Toledo trip was the last time because he will go into surgery next week where he is not expected to survive. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
(3) Erin says "I cheated on you because of Addison's big dick. We had to share a room and once I saw it I had to have it. After he fucked me I could never say no to him. The Toledo trip was the last time because you were getting suspicious and I did not want to lose you. I made an appointment with a sexual addiction therapist and I gave my resignation to the company. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
Of course, the outcome would be the same because Erin had her chance to come clean with Paul. It is the betrayal and lies not just the sex that kills love. I am usually a fan which is why I submitted these comments. I look forward to your next submission.
The difference between a formula story or as anon reader put it in the title of his/her comment: “Crossing I's And Dotting T's” and one which is not, is that the non formulaic story trails its own course. You simply can’t expect a list of topics and points to be covered as a matter of fact. Almost fanatically, if I say so myself, I chase authors for not working on the “why” element and as this Anon. commenter said in reconciliation you could not expect any less. In most other stories when the cheated character is described as curious or as other circumstances may influence a similar need for those explanations is there. But here the author did something unique. He built the whole middle part on preparing the ground to creating a crystal clear understanding between the couple that what ever the reasons for cheating A. she could fix it by telling him what he/they need to do and B. stop cheating. I.e. he gave her a full safe AND face saving opportunity to fix her situation. She chose not to do it and as many speculated; there could be many excuses/causes. BUT –and here is a critical point. The story is THROUGHLY done from the husband POV. Never ONCE did the author give us the split screen pov. He did give us a very coherent and full picture on the husband’s though. And so, from within this story’s structure it is NOT required to present the wife’s perceptions and perspective. From his POV she knew very well what the husband expected and what would be the outcome if she continues to cheat. Why she did it? I agree it could be intriguing but just because this author built this original story tightly does not mean he should be punished for not covering every thing that could be covered, only writing what was necessary to THIS story, even if it leaves us wanting more.
I for one want to praise the author for the courage to be a trail blazer and write a tight story with a purposely narrow focus (a compliment) which allow us to travel light in this terrain without the “mandatory “parts which always seem to come with each story: husband comes back home then wife comes back; confrontation; begging; separation hide/seek between the couple; more negotiations with or with out lawyers; with or with out friends on and on and on…
Well written, well constructed story. I know that quite a few commenters pointed out that the wife's story wasn't given and they may have a point, but I still enjoyed it. A thank you to the celt for a good read.
by
Anonymous08/14/06
not complete
left out why? I know just a story but it left me wanting to know.
by
Anonymous08/25/06
Keep them coming!
These are great stories- keep them coming if you can.
by
Anonymous08/31/06
so, in the next installment
she came back, pretending to cry in a frantic way and he went back on his own words about not having love for her any more because she killed it!
any man, or woman, who became so suspicious and followed their spouse to a hotel they stayed in and saw them hugging and kissing another person but when on the phone pretending to be doing something else "important",,, and when you call later in the night in their hotel room and they don't answer, not at night or in the morning,,,,, if that kind of person could still "love" you or want to be with you only,,,,,,,,,, if you believe that then you likely believe Elves are real and so is Santa or Satan?!
as the guy aptly observed:
Erin, all you have to do was just tell me you want out. I would still be hurt but I would leave still loving you. But this thing that you've been doing, it's coldblooded and calculating!
a man, an a woman, needs to be able to stick to decisions he makes, for better or for worse. he could walks away and still cherish old memories of a woman he loved once, years ago, but that doesn't mean he has to stay with someone who so coldbloodedly violate him like this woman now,,,,,
I love your stories, but we both know if you write another chapter, he's gonna WIMP OUT and take her cheating ass back! Don't do it! End it NOW! Please leave the husband with his balls. Let him walk away, grieve, then get on with his life. (zed)
When they sit down to talk he tells Erin, "But don't cheat on me or our marriage. I could never accept that. There is no way we could survive that."
She has already cheated.
If, for whatever reason, she does not want to leave him, does anyone really believe she would come right out and tell him she has already cheated and end the marriage there and then?
Does the silly husband truly believe he gave her a chance to confess?
The guy is a fool. The marriage is already dead if he was serious in what he said. If she wanted it to go on, the last thing she will do is admmit to anything. HE locked her into having to deny it all even had she wanted to confide in him.
Then he is silly enough to wonder why she didn't confess??
As I said - the guy is s fool.
by
Anonymous09/06/06
Forced to agree
Celt
Loved the story and how the husband gave Erin a chance to be honest if not honorable. I have to agree with other posters here that with out that final confrontation and the WHY revealed even if it's just the why of the moment it came off more like a Just Plain Bob story rather than thecelt.
English
Great Story
I like the "Consequences" series. The are direct but with feelings and a swift resolution.
FEF in Atlanta
Very Good
We all have to live with the consequences of our actions.
Boyd
KUDO's Author
With this series You are bringing a sense of reality and justice to this site where it is often but a deep emptyness void of respect and self respect.
As per usual, your talent and imagination are appreciated in this emotional theme of marital consequence. More is hoped for at interval.
Thanks Again Author
With Very High Regard
what could the wife say? He forced me?
great story celt.
what could the wife possibly say? "My Boss forced me?" or maybe this one " If I didnt fuck him he would fire me?..."
why would anyone believe that shit? she want up to the Boss and kissed HIM at the hotel... Hubby saw that... and all the times he was trying to get her to open up... she just lied right to is face... no sign of uncertainty or confusion
great story
Great, as always
An excellent story line, well conceived and very well written. I agree with the previous poster -- I think that your "Consequences" series has that "real world" feel to it, unlike much of what appears here.
Great job. I'm looking forward to your next.
Bob
WIfe strays husband leaves
Likely outcome, though I wonder why she felt she wanted to stray, as it makes it a complete story even with stupid reasons by her.
Good entertainment
that was a great speak,but what happen next
you gave us this long drawen out story about when you meet and leading up to the affair.now what happen after you and her finally talked.some happen after the divorce.
concur with the last reader
this kind of story, though potentially good, leaves the reader hanging.
if it was told far enough into the future, with the narrator NOW happily married to someone else or has had enough of a time to truly heal and to have moved on, if not in marrying then at least in dating, then it's not a hanging story;
but as it is, the reader is as likely to find that the guy, in the next chapter, reads: "She came home and we talked and, despite my initial thoughts, she was crying so much and I still loved her so much --- you can't just turn love off like a switch, you know? --- I decided to forgive her," etc., etc.
but that would go against most readers, because the author had already established a clear-cut case in which a wife, a spouse, as even the HUSBAND/narroator said, DELIBERATELY and heinously violated a set of matrimonial vows sacred to him. allowing someone like that back into one's life means two things: you think it WAS OKAY she/he violated you and your principles, the FIRST TIME, they did it; and you RE-ITERATED, by accepting them back because of WHATEVER reason they said, that HER ACTIONS WERE FORGIVEABLE,,, (because "extenuating" circumstances?: "he said he'd fired me if I didn't..."; "I was too lonely and he was there and you're not..."; "he made me forget the 'real world' and our marriage; but you'r ethe only one I truly love"; "it's only sex and bodily fluid exchange...")
the story IS good; it's just the open-ended part didn't give the reader a sense of whole, a sense of finality to it. only two outcomes would blemish this kind of story: accepting some as calculating as that back, simply because they cry croc tears, and NOT able to move on because, "God damn it, I loved her so much!"
Very good BUT Incomplete
I really enjoy reading your stories and the majority of them seem to have depth and close with no loose ends. This story is very good as far as it goes but I was left with a sense of it being incomplete. The ending seemed to fade and to be lacking substance. The best way to describe reading this story is like eating a steak dinner and not being fully satisified because you never got dessert and a cup of coffee. Please consider re-writing the ending or adding to this story to really make it complete.
weak
you would need photo evidence, and he didn't get it.
not so much for the divorce, but for the lawsuit against the corp and the boss. he is gonna lose.
Definitely died at the end
and it was only a Clayton's ending.
Is there a real one somewhere?
Was the guy born who really wouldn't want to know?
I know a few will post here that they didn't/don't, but not many will believe it.
tightly written
This was a narcissistic couple, totally self centered. I think it was very consistent to have him just walk away. Their world consisted of the two of them, nothing more. No mention of friends or family, no desire for children... all their activities are shared only with each other. Frankly, I have a bit trouble even seeing love in these profoundly flawed folks.
This was a very well written minimalist story... I didn't like the couple, but I've met some folks like this. I very much enjoyed the writing.
WOW
As usual, an excellent story. I am fascinated by the rationale people use to justify cheating. A follow up with her side of the storey would be greatly appreciated.
enjoying
Enjoying your consequences series, I would wish a little longer, but still enjoyed them. Keep them up.
Tim
Warning Label Required: Dull belongs in Non-Erotic
OK, the truth is, if you don't get it, that the vast, vast majority of us come here not to be "lectured to" about "consequences," but to be titilated while reading erotica and jerkin' off. Is this a "loving wife?" No. Is this erotic? No.
You tryin' to be Dr. Phil, or what?
Your writing's not bad. Not great. Just so-so. So if it's not great literature, there already is a Dr. Phil, and it's not sexy and stimulating, what was the point?
You want to be a "writer?" Fine, get an agent and try to land a deal with a publisher. Good luck.
Sorry but here's what this is like for the majority of us pervs who weed through so much crap to try and get a sexual high out of this: We got a nice hard-on and are going from story to story and then, we come across one like yours and you waste our time, and it's such a bummer.
Maybe you should try to peddle this tripe at Cosmo, or Today's Woman, or Parade Magazine, or somewhere that's G rated.
Yeah, you could delete this comment, but why don't you let others comment on it. Maybe they'll be on your side and pump some air back in your balloon.
A beginning to story
Celt,
This story, until now, is excellent. I am not sure that you are continuing the story which, to me, clearly seems unfinished. I mean that there are a number of good reasons for her actions of the previous might with her boss, and these might related to her mentioning to her husband that she might soon not have a job with the company. Please continue the story.
RAG
Good But?
Do not mind if there is no sex as long as the story is complete and interesting. This story leaves me feeling unsatisfied. The ending just fades away so either end it better or do another chapter that wraps it all up - too many loose ends.
Consequences - good title!
If this then that! Makes sense to me.
A follow-on to peggytwittys: the question is not just why would she stray, but why would she want to stay?
She knowingly lied to his face and continued the infidelity when he had made it very clear what the consequences would be.
Did she think being out of town was like a bullet proof vest?
I liked the story and the writing a lot.
Regards, DJ
Almost but not quite
Celt:
While some here read only to stimulate the callouses on their hands, many others of us find your stories entertaining. Your stories are plotted well and written well. However, I, as some who have commented before me, felt somewhat unsatisfied after having read this. This story reads like an excerpt from a much longer one. Okay, he caught her cheating...but why did she cheat? You tell us that these two have had an idyllic marriage for twelve years...so what happened? You relate how their careers have flourished and how each was so highly regarded in his/her field...does this eliminate her being coerced then because of a job situation?
There has to be more to this story and I do hope you'll post it. Thank you for a fine effort.
Philip
Left me wanting more of an ending
I have liked most of your stories, but this one was left a little too open for me... The end is reminiscent of many of Just Plain Bob's, just a little short.
To Anonymous in the US of A
I remember you now. You're Mr. "Tin Man" married to "Mary Five Fingers" that owns the delapidated house on the corner with trash bags and chicken bones strewn all over your yard! Every time I walk by your home I'm constantly assaulted with the sounds of
"Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yik e,Yike,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah!
Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Ooh,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yike,Yike,Y ike,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah,Aaah!
The neigborhood association kindly asks that you clean-up your yard and close your windows from here on.
Thank you
rest of the story
I have always enjoyed your writing and stories. A big reason for that is the quality of the writing and the thought and effort that went into the stories. Individuals are given depth and character and story lines are well thought out and complete. Some may have complained that you are a reconcile at any cost author, yet that is ok with me.
With the first 2 entries in your consequences series, Erin and Eve, you seem only to be writing a 2 dimensional story. The background of the couple, the loving life they enjoyed, the cheating that occurred and then the confrontation and obligatory divorce threat by the husband.
As Paul Harvey is famous for saying "...and now for the rest of the story". Where is the rest of the story? Please get back to writing 3 dimensional stories. It is sometimes appropriate for an author not to complete an ending to a story so that the reader can envision what might happen to the characters, but if your first 2 consequence stories are an indication, it appears that that is what you are going to do for the remainder of the series. I hope I am not correct in this assumption.
Another observation. The only consequence you seem to be focused on is the breakup of the marriage, which is the most obvious. There may be more consequences that occur as a result of an affair. Consequences to jobs, children, family relations, friendships, finances, etc. I think if you are going to deal with consequences of infidelity you should cover all the issues and not just the marriage.
Not Finished
The story needs more, it's very good so far. Try her side and what they did after the BIG D.
Doesn't seem like it's all done
It's been said before. This story seems to be well short of the whole tale.
have to agree with others
Dynamite Jack said it well. i would say it as follows:
we don't have any idea why the wife in this apparently happy marriage would cheat
we don't know why, if she's cheating, she would be so upset by being caught, and upset that her husband might be leaving her
without knowing these things, the story feels more like a sketch than a complete work.
I like your stories, but this one feels incomplete and not very satisfying.
When thecelt finds out your pretending to be him..
He's going to be really pissed off.
(^_^)
Just kidding celt, way to go a different direction in your writing. I know it surprised me. And surprises like this is what keeps me reading from some of the better known authors here.
But I sorta agree with a few other folks here. You spent a lot of time developing the characters. You went indepth with their lifestyle, thier likes and dislikes, and even how much they enjoy their lives together. But when the husband starting to suspect his wife was cheating the story kinda petered out fast.
I liked the fact that the husband went "I didn't have much experience at this spying stuff." That was a nice touch. Made him seem more like the average guy instead of a kung-fu spying master. That he was struggling to come up with clever ways to spy and failing but still doing the best he could was done really well and enough that people quickly accepted that because it felt real to them, and no one focused on it. That was a good touch.
But the story seemed matter of fact in the ending. Don't get me wrong, there didn't need to be any begging or groveling done by either party, but some reasoning, even if its how the divorce went or how his and her life changed after 12 years of being together would have helped make sense of why. One person, or even couples, both just don't wake up one day and "BAM" they are totally different people with no reason behind why they changed.
Even though you suggested it was a gradual change, we don't know why. Was her boss really getting all the sex she used to give her husband or was he working her till she was too tired to even breathe, and then later he recouped her time with a few trips visits out of town, where she could let loose with just him along? See we don't know.
Great story otherwise, just a few loose ends here and there.
Oh and Josephus I have to disagree with on a point or two >=)
Not having kids for some folks is a good thing. It doesn't make you self centered. I have 3 kids, but I have known people who have had kids and I can't count the times I asked myself why they do. They seem abusive and heartless towards their kids.
To me its better that people who feel they won't be good parents not have any kids, than people who want kids and later treat the kids badly as "bad" parents. I'm sure each and every one of us know of people like this. Personally I respect people who say "I'd make a bad parent" so that's why I don't have any "more" than I do people who have kids and treat them badly.
-Risq
Good reading!
While there is no sex in this story, it is a good one that shows how sick our society is. I don't believe it necessary to explain myself on this rating other than to say that unless she got pregnant, she did not really do anything out of the ordinary that adult human animals might want to do.
Crossing I's And Dotting T's or is it ---
You know it's puzzling. We ask the writers for lifelike scenarios and you give them to us in the "Consequence Series". But then some want the outline checked that all the answers are fully explained. You can't always have it both ways. Life isn't formula driven.
Life is inexplicable at times. It doesn't always stay on the expected track and thats what makes it life - and interesting - plus sometimes challenging and satisfying or disturbing. Jeez you know this.
I guaranty you that if you asked 100 men, why their wife decided to cuckold them numerous times, many would say that wasn't important - they really didn't care why - just that they did and were thankfully caught. Nobody wants to hear all the bullshit lies as to why, but some need to hear them to put it to bed once and for all - if possible.
Ask 100 women why their husband long term cheated on them and many of them wouldn't care to know - that it really didn't matter - that they didn't want to hear all the false reasons but some listen to it to try to put it to bed if possible.
As a reader, we can't always expect life or consequences to always be predictable or explained as that sometimes doesn't mirror life. In a reconciliation scenario it is manditory for any chance of staying together, however in a long term infidelity it isn't ""unless you are a masochist wanting to dwell on the what if's"".
And so Author - Impressive work - more at interval is hoped for.
With Very High Regard
Okay, My turn
I give this a 75 because it is well written and tend to grade highly on that. However, Celt, I have to agree with the others: Erin never really did explain why she felt she needed to do this. Did she wake up one morning and decide while brushing her teeth "I think I will fuck up my life. And while I'm at it, I might as well take my hubby and boss with me!"
While people do do a myriad of really stupid ass shit for a variety of really lame reasons, there ARE reasons (or excuses). They may be weak, but they are there. You never told us why this Erin felt she wanted to do this, especially when she had to know that she may have been discovered. The ending was weak. You put a lot of time into getting us into the story and then hubby just leaves. That is ok; many of us would have done. But you didn't round out the story. Was Erin chargrined at her actions? (Yeah, that was contrived :-))) What happened to her? Did hubby just wander off into the sunset?
Bring us more but this time round it out; give us a beginning and an ending. While you should always leave us wanting more, this ain't exactly what is meant. :-)
Best Regards,
C
One more thing:
Don87... I take exception to being called an animal. Maybe the people your know are, but I am not.
Agree with others
I think it was too quick and it leaves a lot out as others have said.
One of the majority
You always write extremely well but I have to agree with the majority that the ending left a lot to be desired. You did a beautiful job of describing their ideal marriage during which time they played together, loved together and wre completely compatible in every way. Even your discovery of her adultery was very well dne as well as the dialogue associated with it. I am one of many, apparently, who are disappointed by ending in which in which husband says goodby with total lack of communication. Sure she was totally wrong, but after 12 wonderful years together it seems that there should be some discussion about the dissolution of the marriage. What happened --why-etc? i know he asked all those questions and got no answers before he proved she was cheating, but I still would love to see your description of final discussion between them. 60 year old George
need for more
this story begs for a second chapter to explain why sne treated him like she did
Right! Another chapter IS necessary
so she can tell her story. Of course, if it is just a story, then it's still goodbye. If it's the old "It was only sex" shit then, goodbye.
BUT he needs to allow her to explain her actions. Something that belies the infidelity. I don't see how, either, but maybe.
Story good as stands
I do not think the story needs a second part, in that she cheated and broke her vows. Paul said it correctly in that Erin made her choice to cheat. It does not matter if she was cheating with Addison willing (as in a lover) or if she was cheating with Addison to keep her job (Is any job worth cheating?). She had made her choice to cheat and it was the wrong choice. She will have to live with the consequences.
That said however, if in some twisted way she did not cheat then we have a totally different story, which may or may not fit within the “consequences” series depending on how the story is written.
The Other Side?
I am enjoying your consequences series I hope you keep them up:)
All the cries for a sequal to this tale - none is needed. You could write another tale from her side. It still would be part of the conseqences series or it would fit in well.
You must have a huge following judging by the comments you receieve and the speed at which they come in :)
I have to agree ...
with the majority of commenters. In your last story Consequences-Eve we knew why she did it. It was a piss poor reason but at least there was no unnecessary mystery. Even if Erin had said in her parting remarks "I did it because..." we would know something. Given the shortness of the overall story I did not want the tearful, silly final confrontation with Paul. Let me see if I can come up with some excuses for Erin's infidelity.
(1) Erin says " I cheated because I found out that Addison was part of a terrorist cell planning to set off a deadly chemical disaster. Tens of thousands of people would have die so I contacted the FBI. They convinced me to get close to Addison so I pretended to be interested in him sexually and I told him that you could not satisfy me. I felt so dirty after sex with him that why I did not want to taint our love by making love to you immediately afterwards. The Toledo trip was the last time because the FBI got enough evidence to arrest the whole cell. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
(2) Erin says "I cheated on you because Addison is terminally ill and he always wanted to be with me. I owed him so much because he was the only one in the company who was willing to give a woman engineer a chance. The Toledo trip was the last time because he will go into surgery next week where he is not expected to survive. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
(3) Erin says "I cheated on you because of Addison's big dick. We had to share a room and once I saw it I had to have it. After he fucked me I could never say no to him. The Toledo trip was the last time because you were getting suspicious and I did not want to lose you. I made an appointment with a sexual addiction therapist and I gave my resignation to the company. I am sorry I put you through this mess but I love only you."
Of course, the outcome would be the same because Erin had her chance to come clean with Paul. It is the betrayal and lies not just the sex that kills love. I am usually a fan which is why I submitted these comments. I look forward to your next submission.
SleeplessinMD
A rarity: non formulaic story
The difference between a formula story or as anon reader put it in the title of his/her comment: “Crossing I's And Dotting T's” and one which is not, is that the non formulaic story trails its own course. You simply can’t expect a list of topics and points to be covered as a matter of fact. Almost fanatically, if I say so myself, I chase authors for not working on the “why” element and as this Anon. commenter said in reconciliation you could not expect any less. In most other stories when the cheated character is described as curious or as other circumstances may influence a similar need for those explanations is there. But here the author did something unique. He built the whole middle part on preparing the ground to creating a crystal clear understanding between the couple that what ever the reasons for cheating A. she could fix it by telling him what he/they need to do and B. stop cheating. I.e. he gave her a full safe AND face saving opportunity to fix her situation. She chose not to do it and as many speculated; there could be many excuses/causes. BUT –and here is a critical point. The story is THROUGHLY done from the husband POV. Never ONCE did the author give us the split screen pov. He did give us a very coherent and full picture on the husband’s though. And so, from within this story’s structure it is NOT required to present the wife’s perceptions and perspective. From his POV she knew very well what the husband expected and what would be the outcome if she continues to cheat. Why she did it? I agree it could be intriguing but just because this author built this original story tightly does not mean he should be punished for not covering every thing that could be covered, only writing what was necessary to THIS story, even if it leaves us wanting more.
I for one want to praise the author for the courage to be a trail blazer and write a tight story with a purposely narrow focus (a compliment) which allow us to travel light in this terrain without the “mandatory “parts which always seem to come with each story: husband comes back home then wife comes back; confrontation; begging; separation hide/seek between the couple; more negotiations with or with out lawyers; with or with out friends on and on and on…
Well Done
Well written, well constructed story. I know that quite a few commenters pointed out that the wife's story wasn't given and they may have a point, but I still enjoyed it. A thank you to the celt for a good read.
not complete
left out why? I know just a story but it left me wanting to know.
Keep them coming!
These are great stories- keep them coming if you can.
so, in the next installment
she came back, pretending to cry in a frantic way and he went back on his own words about not having love for her any more because she killed it!
any man, or woman, who became so suspicious and followed their spouse to a hotel they stayed in and saw them hugging and kissing another person but when on the phone pretending to be doing something else "important",,, and when you call later in the night in their hotel room and they don't answer, not at night or in the morning,,,,, if that kind of person could still "love" you or want to be with you only,,,,,,,,,, if you believe that then you likely believe Elves are real and so is Santa or Satan?!
as the guy aptly observed:
Erin, all you have to do was just tell me you want out. I would still be hurt but I would leave still loving you. But this thing that you've been doing, it's coldblooded and calculating!
a man, an a woman, needs to be able to stick to decisions he makes, for better or for worse. he could walks away and still cherish old memories of a woman he loved once, years ago, but that doesn't mean he has to stay with someone who so coldbloodedly violate him like this woman now,,,,,
End it NOW!
I love your stories, but we both know if you write another chapter, he's gonna WIMP OUT and take her cheating ass back! Don't do it! End it NOW! Please leave the husband with his balls. Let him walk away, grieve, then get on with his life. (zed)
This husband is a dumb dork!
When they sit down to talk he tells Erin, "But don't cheat on me or our marriage. I could never accept that. There is no way we could survive that."
She has already cheated.
If, for whatever reason, she does not want to leave him, does anyone really believe she would come right out and tell him she has already cheated and end the marriage there and then?
Does the silly husband truly believe he gave her a chance to confess?
The guy is a fool. The marriage is already dead if he was serious in what he said. If she wanted it to go on, the last thing she will do is admmit to anything. HE locked her into having to deny it all even had she wanted to confide in him.
Then he is silly enough to wonder why she didn't confess??
As I said - the guy is s fool.
Forced to agree
Celt
Loved the story and how the husband gave Erin a chance to be honest if not honorable. I have to agree with other posters here that with out that final confrontation and the WHY revealed even if it's just the why of the moment it came off more like a Just Plain Bob story rather than thecelt.
Good Story
I definitely wanted this story to continue. I hope there's a part II. There are too many questions left unanswered.
5***** story! Original and Creative!
I don't believe he would have been able to tell by her expressions that she was lying.
Excellent
Very cut and dry. He warned her about cheating, she did it anyway. He was done. Oh oh. Chapter 2??? Do make him lose his balls.
Loved it!
Her initial reaction to his queries was very poignant.
Fiver
This is an excellent story. Too bad Toledo is the stomping grounds of the unfaithful. Then again it just MIGHT be.
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