My Best Friend's Dad

Ok for first effort

Another rewrite would have eliminated the small errors. What caught my attention was your screne name, there is a Zealand near Amsterdam, and New Zealand which Americans know about. Where are you?
One tip, when writing, is to slow down the moment. There are times when a story needs to be slowed, for attention to a particular scene. In your story you flew through scenes which, if slowed down, would have been better.
Your tale also lacked character development, and scene enhancement. How tall was MrC....how tall is the female..what was the weather like...if you'd have painted this as a NZ winter, that the park was empty, how cold the picnic table was...

Shitty!

This story is clearly a case of rape, which is not very erotic in these fantasy stories.

Totally unrealistic

This was completely unrealistic. First, she's begging for him not to touch her and is fucking scared. Then she wants to please him... WTF?

critics

shut up you idiot critics some people are turned on by rape stories it doesn't make it wrong or you a rapist if you don't like it don't read non consent stories at the least bite your fkn tongue because most people who like these don't care what you think

thought it was great. very hot! wish it would happen to me :D

smh, wtf?

This man is a bullying sick disgusting paedophile, the girl is dumb and stupid and pathetic and all those who favorited this story are fucking sickand stupid too. Smfh

Anonymous Facepalm

Loved this STORY. LLS @ Anonymous.
Reading a noncon story then commenting that others are sick? Perhaps you should reread category descriptions. And add a Facepalm to your shaking head. Too bad we can't criticize YOUR favorites list.

Rape & abuse

This sounds more like a horrendous count of rape than anything else.
"Oh my god, the pain"

Lovely, absolutely lovely.

wow

I don't know how to feelabout this 😂😂😫😥😒😅😱😳😝😣😞😕😐😯😏😬😲😦😵😧😟😈🙊🙈🙉💦👅💧👍👎

HORIBLE

This story is sick, it's rape!!!!! Jeered fuk u people!!

This is Rape

This is Rape....

rape

that asshole is looking at ten to twenty for his fun!!!! If it was my daughter, he would be lucky to have the cops get to him first!

for retards

yes, it is rape. you are in non-consent section. get dictionary if you dont know what it means