All Comments on 'Surprise Family Affair Ch. 02'

Family fucking is always fun. Keep writing. Keep them fucking each other. I enjoy reading about it.

bull shit. stop writing

fast and too stilted - not enough description of anything - including the players!!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't have much of a sense of how people talk. The dialogue is unnatural, stilted, as one reader described it. I'm not going to keep on reading this story. Maybe a Literotica editor can help you with the dialogue and descriptions.

in the dialogue. the story seems forced. great basic concept, but poor writing execution. needs more tease, more development