All Comments on 'Family Camping Trip'

Actually a nice start, the innocent thing is good but unbelievable at the age of 18, read the follow up, other than being too short, a nice continuation.

the past tense of see is saw not seen

"I seen two people..." , "...tell me what you seen..."? Back to the textbooks, please!

The story reads like one of those pulp smut books from the 1950's; it's odd, stilted, unexciting and just plain not good enough. Learn about storytelling before you post twaddle like this again

"Let me rub it on your leg". I'm speechless, even when I was at my most gauche, even while blind drunk I could never have uttered such a crass line.

Ready to teach his naive cousin about the birds and bees.

Don't get stung

"Seen" versus "saw" is pretty poor.

Better grammar will make your story more interesting, it's distracting as is.

What? Do we have a bunch of english teachers reading stories on here? Get over the seen and saw. That's one of the problems with the english language. A saw is to cut something.

I like the story. I wish there would have more chapters to it.

No, fool but we HOPEFULLY have literate writers, perhaps even readers who would much appreciate stories not written by cave dwellers.