All Comments on 'Wife's Exhibitionist in Mexico'

great story!

This story was full of potential, like many, but fell short, chiefly due to its lack of quotes, relying instead on second-hand reporting of what the wife said repeatedly. It was also rushed and had several grammatical/punctuation errors. However, the story plot itself was very interesting and the exhibitionist sex very hot. The wife in question seems like a truly "loving" wife. She wants BOTH of them to have fun, she doesn't cheat, but she does seem open to swapping or swinging. The characters were likable as well, not just her. All in all, I give this story a 4. Correct those problems, and it could be a 5. It's good enough overall to merit a high rating.

This could go a lot of directions. I would also suggest you use more dialogue in your writing. It can really make the story live.

The plot is fine - I've used Cancun in a couple of my stories. In that kind of environment ANYTHING can happen.

The main thing is to keep writing! You will be amazed at how fast your skills grow.

If I may, a couple additional suggestions from my own experience.

- Try to find an editor - it is not just grammar and punctuation, it's also feedback. If you don't know how to do this send me an email.

- Try different genres. Your first story is Loving Wives, and theat's great but the audience can be tough! Mix in a little Romance; maybe a Mature; maybe a Non-Erotic. That will broaden your writing and make your skills and writing mor focused in whatever writing arena you like best. For example, I've never tried Lesbian but I like to read it ... so what the hell! One of these days I'll give it a shot.

All in all a good first story!

Regards, DJ

awesome story... sounds like a great vacation! interested in sharing some sexy vacation pictures of that amazing wife of yours?

thanks again for sharing,

dubes

well told, deserving of a sequel.

He will be thrilled to share fictional pictures of his fictional wife you , moron.