wow you're pretty good considering it's your first time (i assume) I hope you'll do another chapter because you definitely got something there with gabriel and desiree
This story was well written, with good flow from start to finish. The ending left something to be desired, being rather clipped and abrupt. But overall, it was a great effort and definitely a quality work.
And one other thing is also obvious. The author did something that is all too rare on Lit. He or she proof read this work, and did so with a discerning eye. Too few authors take the time or make the effort, and otherwise good stories become something less for their lack of effort. Well done, Hotsprings!
Len Bee
by
Anonymous09/01/06
Nice
tory,how about a second part?
by
Anonymous09/01/06
Nice
Please tell me that isn't where your gonna leave it? i loved the story write more
by
Anonymous09/02/06
:D
Now I know you are most definitely going to complete this story, you CANNOT leave it here... or else ;)
English
nice
wow you're pretty good considering it's your first time (i assume) I hope you'll do another chapter because you definitely got something there with gabriel and desiree
Well Done
This story was well written, with good flow from start to finish. The ending left something to be desired, being rather clipped and abrupt. But overall, it was a great effort and definitely a quality work.
And one other thing is also obvious. The author did something that is all too rare on Lit. He or she proof read this work, and did so with a discerning eye. Too few authors take the time or make the effort, and otherwise good stories become something less for their lack of effort. Well done, Hotsprings!
Len Bee
Nice
tory,how about a second part?
Nice
Please tell me that isn't where your gonna leave it? i loved the story write more
:D
Now I know you are most definitely going to complete this story, you CANNOT leave it here... or else ;)
Just kidding, but seriously please continue it.
Very well written, specially for your 1st.
intriguing
i came across your story and here i am reading it at 415 a.m. i'm liking it a lot so far
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Desiree's Star or
More submissions by HotSprings22.