It isn't a bad idea, but I felt that the writing was a bit dry, and didn't flow well. It felt very emotionless and cold, and the characters seemed to be over-simplified. I know that everyone is different, but I didn't find the conflict between father and daughter, or father and wife, at all erotic. All I can say is that I'd encourage you to keep writing, and try to breathe some humanity into your future characters.
by
Anonymous09/05/06
16DD
What the heck kind of bra size is that???
by
Anonymous09/07/06
Just about an A!!! Nice story very hot indeed!
The story was very good. Nice development of the setup. Enjoyed the writing style, unlike these other people who left comments not knowing their ass from a whole in the ground! The fucking was pretty quick at the end-thats why I scored ya down some. I would have liked to see more development at the end when he actualy fucked her. Ex: Finger her alot more and then force her to the ground and eat her, then force a 69 and her to suck his cock, get her realy really going before the penetration. Other than that little bump it was a well written story and very well developed. Keep up the submittals Id love to see you develop more. (PS bra size 16DD? Do they even make that?-lol. I think ya meant 36DD. Doesnt matter much because Im a leg man anyways!-lol)
Well done and I hope to see more.
with lots of build up between two hard headed people...thats deep down wanted to, but neither would admit.. I recognized the small typo (16dd) and read it as 36DD.. no problem.
by
Anonymous03/18/08
Not enough
The story ended much too abruptly. The sex wasn't very detailed nor did it last long. Good lead up but really disappointing ending, unfortunately.
by
Anonymous03/19/08
very very Hot
who cares what size 16dd is By the time they got to acutal sex I was dripping wet...I cant wait to read more from this author.
English
So so...
It isn't a bad idea, but I felt that the writing was a bit dry, and didn't flow well. It felt very emotionless and cold, and the characters seemed to be over-simplified. I know that everyone is different, but I didn't find the conflict between father and daughter, or father and wife, at all erotic. All I can say is that I'd encourage you to keep writing, and try to breathe some humanity into your future characters.
16DD
What the heck kind of bra size is that???
Just about an A!!! Nice story very hot indeed!
The story was very good. Nice development of the setup. Enjoyed the writing style, unlike these other people who left comments not knowing their ass from a whole in the ground! The fucking was pretty quick at the end-thats why I scored ya down some. I would have liked to see more development at the end when he actualy fucked her. Ex: Finger her alot more and then force her to the ground and eat her, then force a 69 and her to suck his cock, get her realy really going before the penetration. Other than that little bump it was a well written story and very well developed. Keep up the submittals Id love to see you develop more. (PS bra size 16DD? Do they even make that?-lol. I think ya meant 36DD. Doesnt matter much because Im a leg man anyways!-lol)
Well done and I hope to see more.
~Flyguycal
It was a nice story...
with lots of build up between two hard headed people...thats deep down wanted to, but neither would admit.. I recognized the small typo (16dd) and read it as 36DD.. no problem.
Not enough
The story ended much too abruptly. The sex wasn't very detailed nor did it last long. Good lead up but really disappointing ending, unfortunately.
very very Hot
who cares what size 16dd is By the time they got to acutal sex I was dripping wet...I cant wait to read more from this author.
bah
Teased or not, this was rape.
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