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Looking forward to Chap. 2
Looking forward to Chap. 2 I agree more details and a longer build-up would be nice. Lots of potential with his sis teasing him in her hot string bikini/high heels and, perhaps, some other sexy outfits.
Will She or Won't She?
Good start to what could be a great series. Although this is categorized under the True story section, I am assuming this is fictional. If not, then none of what follows applies, since the writer of a true story should just relate whatever happened with just a little bit of artistic license.
That said, the dramatic tension is not whether he gets her ot not (he already has) but whether she will become what he wants, available to him sexually whenever or however he tells her to be. The thing that could make this series HOT is how he overcomes her resistance to his efforts to make her his sexual partner at will. How he gradually overcomes her scruples and her fears could make for a delicious read, if it is developed properly.
There is probably no more challenging writing scenario than "how do you get a reluctant older sister, who is hot enough to have other options available to her, to become your mistress right under the roof of your unsuspecting parents?" The possibilities for plot twists, character development, deliciously delayed gratification, and sensual detail are almost unlimited.
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