by leapyearguy
Has been mentioned in the New Story Reviews thread on the Lit forum (Author's Hangout).
LYG, great story and it kept me chuckling. My only comment/critique is the "confrontation" between Mary and Charlie. At the beginning, you have Mary saying she thinks she knows what is going on and her talking to Bob, then she finds out that he is dying and faints.
So, you never tell us, what did she think was going on? It left the impression that the whole condom as balloons story was just that, a story. Maybe there is a "sorry Charlie" in there after all (when he does drop dead unexpectedly six months later and Bob and Mary laugh off into the sunset together).
Spelling Sucks,
The word is " Hilarious ".
Not you, LYG, Anonymous in Ohio.
< carefully proof-read and spell-checked >
The Story is Great, and who cares on typos as long as it is a " rollicking good tale "
Yours,
Kilroy
I'll tell you exactly how I feel about this just as soon as I can get up from the floor and look at the monitor with a straight face.
Quite a change from most of the cheating stories on Lit., and a pleasure to read. Very funny!
Quite a change from most of the cheating stories on Lit., and a pleasure to read. Very funny!
Hilariously funny and my mind reels from all the old tuna commercials rambling around in my head. Thanks for a great story!
That is the first laugh I have had in a week. We all go through some of those thoughts at times but to see them in print is really funny. Thanks.
not sure why the commenter below didn't like it, but it sure made me chuckle - especially the bit with the wife's mother!
Mixing such a hilarious tale
With strong undercurrents of
Pathos and social commentary.
But then, isn't that really what
Satire is supposed to be about?
Congratulations
Funny as hell, but thank God there are a few of that are totally insane.
Regards, Jack
found this one,I have not laughed so much since my Ex caught her tits in a filing cabinet draw.
to stop laughing so I could write and thank you for a fun read!
This is just so hilarious and invigorating. I hope you are this tilted in real life. I would love to have an outlook of life as you do with a smile and chaste desire to let it just happen.<p>Please keep these whacked out wonderful stories coming.<p>Thank you<p>PT
It's hard to believe that there are commenters who didn't like this story. Great writing.
I just about died laughing!!!!!! I will never look at geraniums the same way again!!!
I'm crying, from the beautiful tenderness of Mary's love and the sheer hilarity of the story. One of the best I've read.
leapyearguy i just love ur way of writing...
u just rockkkkkk man...
Hats Of For This Guy
Harddaysnight make room for Lyg!I'm thinking you're one of the best on this sight.No one but a humorless imbecile could fail to appreciate this!Pistolpackinpete.
not only you dont think too well, you are lacking in good taste. TK U MLJ LV NV
Just awesome -
All good, all real and all just too damn possible -
And yes I have listened to similar news and gone the oh shit aw what the fuck route -
Man, I was so fucking grateful that this finally ended. It was pure torture reading this. I didn't know whether to punch the fuck outta myself or the screen. An idiot of this caliber really doesn't deserve to live. It would be a real fucking blessing for the planet if he really died of the 'melanthingy'.
What else can be said?? I might have done the same if I was in Charlie's shoes.. ROTFL.
I have read a lot of stories by a lot of different authors but even your serious stories are humorous, well done.
Reading this I thought of an old Jerry Lewis movie from the sixties when a doctor told him he was dying so he could steal his wife. It was called "Hook, Line and Sinker." Here however the diagnosis was a mistake not a lie. Or was it? There's a chapter two. Hmmm...
Condoms used as balloons, in their own house, so, logically, it would follow that she would dispose of the wrappers not in the trash bin, like normal people, but instead hide them, in her handbag. Yeah, that makes sense.
You talked about Hiv at the start. Humour immune virus. Except, you just tried too hard. It was kinda cute at times, and really did try, but when someone starts out by telling you how funny they are, and laugh at their own jokes as if they are the funniest ever, you tend to annoy your audience more than entertain them! It's like a laughter track in a sitcom, it's condescending. '"You are too dumb to know what is funny, so I'll tell you what you should laugh at".
Lowest common denominator humour only appeals to exactly that!
I did like the use of humor and tongue in cheek writing. I read ch. 2 first and still don't trust Mary anymore than I did with the sequel.
so very funny and also so very possible excellent
You LYG are the most creative and original writer on the site.
This though, took your talent to a whole nother level!
I don't think I stopped laughing the whole way thru the story.
VERY VERY VERY well done... another easy 10 stars, but they only allow 5
Filled with humor but sounds like it was written by a kindergarten student...and not one of the brighter ones either.
But I might have made a better choice than the mother-in-law. No matter how hard up he was. And the dark side of me wants to say that Mary was lying. Yes, she had used the condoms as balloons. But she was also using them when she screwed her lovers. Like Mother like daughter.
Don't think I've laughed so hard over any other story on this site! This is really well written. Easily five stars - and more!
With that wrap-up you gotta write one about the wedding. So many possibilities.
A better ending would be for Mary and his doctor to be really having an affair for years
This was well conceived and even better written. It's innocent and hilarious. Well done. 5*s.
OOh your a bastard ..... do you have any idea how bad I felt about laughing while reading a story about a dying man.
Thanks, I had a good chuckle #5
How can you explain a woman leaving twelve condom/balloon wrappers in her handbag,it doesn't work?.
Am I the only one who thinks this explanation was complete BS? Normal people shop for party supplies **and buy cheap ballooons in bulk**. Not for some unfathomable reason buy condoms that are far more expensive than balloons.
Anyone who didn’t find this funny has clearly been brought up on reality TV which isn’t remotely interesting let alone amusing, of course the possibility exists they are lobotomy patients and having part of the frontal lobe removed is going to make the most fun loving individuals a little…off.
Load of crap.Why would she use condoms for balloons and why would she keep the empty wrappers?.All the same I think he should keep an eye on her.
I love your stories but your humor escapes me. This was too stupid for words.