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English
Torch
Yep, interesting how some of the best writers in the "Loving wives" category understand the concept of a genuine relationship and the nature of a (real) man's aspiration to a full, shared, loving, partnership. (I know this one is in "Romance"). Personally, I carry a torch for mine too.
Heartwarming
and heart wrenching. A short, beautiful little story which brought a tear to my eye. My thanks to the author.
This was wonderful
Genuinely moving. I loved it.
Dang EZ...
I forbid you to keep moving the bar like that. With you spoiling readers with stories like this how are us poor mortal writers supposed to get anyone to read?
I've never been a fan of flash type writing, but I loved the way you did this. Great closing line, and a wonderful thought.
What does one say. . .
Wow. . . and simply beautiful. My heart is caught in my chest. Thank you. ~ Red.
Nice work.
A wonderful job of summing up a whole life, and all the joy in it, in very few words.
Well done.
Ow...
my heart. :(
touching
I read the story and I am not ashamed to say I cried. This touched my heart more than you will ever know. You can write in a way that makes the person feel for the man. Awesome job, don't stop.
Masterful!
Truly a most enjoyable and wonderful story. It was creatively presented and was quite touching. You just 'schooled' every other author here.
Philip
Pat The pedophile of the Back for a job well done
Carla at sixteen closed the door softly behind her. She sat on the couch. Blue eyes sensual. Brown hair streaked with red-blonde sunlight. Shapely leg tucked under her. Breasts moved rhythmically as if an offer given only to be withdrawn.
"How's Jane?"
"We broke up."
"Of course. She wasn't the woman for you. I could've told you that. Do you have a new girlfriend?"
"No."
"I don't have a boyfriend." Brow furrowed waiting for me to speak. She leaned forward hesitantly. "I want to be your girlfriend, Bill."
"Carla, I love you," rushed from me.
She flew onto my lap. Arms around my neck. Lips hot against mine. "I love you, too. I want to make love to you, Bill. I want you now."
Insane for a man of twenty-nine to take a girl of sixteen? Yes. Insanely in love. Hot Carla. Sexy Carla. Laughing, loving Carla. Carla and I for the first of many times.
For the purposes of this site, the minimum legal age is 18. This site does not publish stories, articles, essays, or other material supporting, encouraging, or defending child abuse and/or exploitation.
I guess if you've been around a while and everyone looks up to you this kind of thing is okay, huh?
Excellent
Far too few submissions of this caliber on this site, I can assure you.
Well done!
Regards,
C
i liked this story but
... the anonymous person who commented just before Chagrined has a point. If the guy had been 31 and she had been 18, no problem... but he was 29 and she was 16, that's a BIG problem. As much as I liked the story, her age should have sent up red flags for the Literotica staff, who should have sent it back to the author for a rewrite.
It's just a story
i don't see any problems with this story, it wasn't going detail by detail the act of sex. And for all those people who want to get technical about how writing should be real then the girl should have been 14 because between the ages of 14 and 16 is when most girls have sex. All in all i thought it was a sweet story of LOVE, and not LUST, a page from the book Lolita (Though the actual story and context are different) the base is the same, older man falls for younger girl.
Great
You said what needed to be said without a waste of words. Remarkable.
Boyd
What a touch!
Just HAD to write and tell you how very much I enjoyed this story. I have always thought your writing to be top-notch, in so many categories, but this one was like a stiletto, tiny but oh so deadly in the way it cuts to the heart......Just an awesome story, so touching and sweet beyond words....I cried like all the other readers, an amazing phenomenon from such a short story! Nice to see a new story from you and continued best wishes to a fellow Texan!
Sweet story
You told a nice little 'Milestones of life' story.
My regards
A very loving story
in a very short form. Since it is his wife he's talking about I doubt the age makes much difference.
Her untimely death seems so very sudden and heart tugging.
Great little story.
What's next?
Oh sure it was a sad little tale. But does that make it ok to breack the age rules of literotica? I doubt it. But since you all loved it so much, maybe we can get one of the other writers to weave an emotional story of a woman that fucks and then marries a 9 yo boy next.
Author's Comments on Age
To those offended by Carla being 16 (as opposed to a greater age) when she and Bill first had sex, I'd like to apologize. No offense was meant. And I'd like to make a point or two.
I didn't realize Literotica had an 18 age limit. If I did I would have rewritten, which was a terribly easy thing to do in this story. I will contact the powers that be in Literotica and start the process of amending to story to make the age 18.
To all of you, I suggest you Google "Age of consent". The legal "age of consent" in Canada and all but one European countries is 16 or less. In the USA, it varies by state. In Texas, it is 17; however a person can legally marry at 14 with the parents' consent. The Federal law is 18 for transportation across a state line or solication via Post Office or ICC regulated lines. For all else (which is this case), it may be as low as 12 but is never higher than 16.
For the Anonymous poster who labled me a pedophile, I suggest you know what a word means before you use it. According to dictionary.com, pedophile means "an adult who is sexually attracted to young children." American Heritage Dictionary says it means "An adult who is sexually attracted to a child or children." American Heritage further says a child is "A person between birth and puberty." Sixteen is virtually always older than puberty.
So, hopefully, we all have learned something. I've learned Literotica's rules are eighteen. Many of you have learned about the age of consent. And Anonymous had learned what pedophile means.
It was poetry in prose…
More specifically, it reminded me of a ballad, where the repeated theme of opening doors - literal and metaphorical (as in new opportunities or new stages in life) is drumming behind the scenes, almost certainly foreshadowing something ominous is about to take place.
A Wonderful contribution, which successfully blurs the lines between story telling and poetry.
Powerful intimate Story!
This wonderful Writer chronicles the life of his one and only love of a lifetime. Each time the door opens we are given another heartwarming look into her life, her husband, her children. This story for me had a powerful emotional appeal because it reaches out and envelopes it's readers. Wonderful!.
tears
just two stories made me cry at the end. This was one of them...and I almost never cry. You don't have just a talent...you have a gift: don't waste it !
So short
Just like life. I'm a 54 year old man and I cried after reading it. Best on the site.
Exquisite
Beautiful, heartwarming, touching, lovely. And yes, I had to cry. Thank you for the beauty.
Simple & beautiful.
It grabs you, makes you think. Sad but beautiful too. One of the reasons I like to read in the romance category. Thanks.
I wish...
it could have ended differently. One of the rare few stories that had me wondering without a clue until the last few paragraphs. You Bastid...write some more, please.
Memorial Snaphots
A thousand words in lieu of pictures.
Very nice,
Thx.
Very nice
Gentle, tender, enjoyable.
I really wanyed to givr this story five but couldn't.
It actually caught me by surprise but it worked. The bittersweet ending blew me away. I felt betrayed by the story. It seemed happy and then a kick in the nether regions for an ending. I gave it a four.
Fill in just a bit more
The story worked. The theme of doors was a good one. But just a little more detail would help. For example, why was she asking for forgiveness? Was that her first pregnancy or did she do something bad? Give us just a little more depth so know.
Nevermind
Stupidest comment I ever left. I think I accidentally scrolled too far down when reading and skipped a few key lines,
****
This story strikes too close to home. Been there, done that. It's life. Cheers!
THATS THE ONLY WAY TO GO
accept closure, hold the memories and move on. TK U MLJ LV NV
Doors, My Quick Thought.
I enjoyed this one immensely. My only question is does he leave at least one heart door open to let his kids and grandkids keep coming in? Does he also close his life door? I am not a writer, but would like to see this one taken farther.
Lovely......
Very fulfilling........Incredible impact for so few words. The characteristic of a Wordsmith Master !
pish
from start to finish pure unadulterated PISH
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