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Heartwrenching
What more can be said? Beautifully written and sad. It's so true, consequences can be a bitch.
Nearly perfect..but unforseen consequences....
A well written tale, thoughtfully presented. You had me up to the final few paragraphs where it became plain what she was intending to do. Your theology is shot full of holes however. In none of the 3 major religions is suicide either condoned or rewarded with the peace of paradise as you would have us believe. In all 3, suicides are bound for hell. But not wishing to get into a theological discussion lets move one to the bigger inconsistency.
Both suicides were acts of selfishness, not selflessness. One supposes we should feel for the couple, and to an extent we do. But the way it was presented one cannot help but wonder what is going to happen to the daughters now. Let us examine the "Consequences" shall we?
The mother was very "noble" in waiting until the girls were grown and happy before revealing the truth behind their father suicide. the mother they grew to revere and the father for whom they no doubt would have developed resentment (for how could they have not, he deserted his family, didn't he?) were in neither case true. Now, in addition to that paradigm shift, they have to deal with the mother's suicide. Now, as a "consequence", the mother has ripped away all the happiness in her childrens life she had labored so hard to help create! And now, to cap it all off, she has demonstrated that suicide is clear and viable alternative to dealing with the lemons life hands us. Studies show that children of suicides, for bothe genetic and behavioral reasons are more suseptable (sic) to suicide themselves. The sins of the fathers (and now mothers). This is not the kind of legacy I plan to leave my children.
As I said, very well written and thought provoking. But I just can't give a 5 because I feel the ending, while heart-rending, left a lot to be desired. In fact, it sucked.
Best Wishes and Regards,
C
a great story,but the plot and content
first i always say fuck up the lover real good as revenge.that stop him from coming around.second killing yourself is a coward way out and that only put you in hell.so many comments say revenge is not the way.if the hubby had took revenge he would've felled better, as got some manhood back.missing his childred growing up and the lives he saves by not killing himself.
Great Celt
In the real world however the way most cheating women are, old Vic would have been still warm in the ground and Louie would have been in bed fucking her and using Vic's office himself after he had moved in and was helping her spend Vic's money. Louie might have even fucked her while at the wake after he had helped eat the casseroles and covered dishes the neighbors had prepared.
Most cheating women could have justified it in their own minds as being their right to passage into total happiness.
She would have introduced her daughters to Louie and told them that Vic liked him so much that he wanted Louie to be their new daddy.
Wow what a vile evil nasty self absorbed woman
I think the truth deep of how weak and slf aborbed and evil this woman / wife was revelaed at the point when Louis followed her to the other super market just to fuck her
LOUIS
We could just climb in the back of your van for one last hurrah. Just a quickie for old times sake. There's no one around and no one would know. Just one for the road. I promise I'll never try to contact you again. Just once more and we're done."
WHORE WIFE
"That's crazy. It's broad daylight and this is a public place. There's no way! Now, please, leave me alone!"
she never says its wrong she never says NO ... her comment "no way" refers to the act of doing it there in the van in broad dalylight... she never says No to LOUIS
second after she kills her husband -- and if this wasnt involuntary manslaughter I dont know what is--- Then and ONLY then she decides to reform her life....
hey bitch you got it backwards...
third point and MOST evil...she destroyed his suicide letter to protect herself. As Chagrined stated the girls growing up may have had some sort of resentment against their father for dying early even if they did NOT know of the suicide. So the whore wife let her own husband get drag thru the mud of resentment by own her kids juts to protect herself?!?!
My god talk about evil and self absorbed
Fourth her talk about Joining him to ask forgivesness is such crap ... and really runied this story a bit.
we all know what is going here. She finally tells her grown daughters what she did how she killed their
dad over a her obession oth another man's cock... so then she decides 'oh well I dont want to face them."
1 she had a long term affair
2 lied to her husband about ending the affair
3 openly wanteed to fuck Louis
4 destroyed the suicide note to avoid legal and emotional fallout from her own kids and familt/ friends
5 let the daughter hate or resent their dad for dying early
6 told them the truth only to chicken out throug suicide by NOT facing the consequences of what she did for the rest of her life
Burn in hell cunt
Not my choice of endings
but well within the realm of possibilities.
Once again, an excellently crafted story. Thanks for the time, energy and talent you use to entertain us!
You canot change...the wimp will die wimp
In all your stories men are wimp and stupids and idiots ...just like you are in your real life.
You canot change that and for revenge, for all the real men that fucked your mother, your whore wife and your slut daughter, you have to write about wimps...but is nothing to help....you are just an wimp, an idiot cuckold, an old ugly shame of man(just because you pee standing it s not beeing man)....anytime you may GO KILL YOURSELF...nothing to lose
liked it
well eritten and a subject that leaves some people uneasy. nicely done.
like it
Again I liked your story, the subject matter was as you said "dark", but still it was good reading. waiting for some more consequences.
Consequences- Estelle- My thoughts
I thought this was a great story. Estelle was a weak selfish woman of which there are many. I know because I was
married to one. I can understand how Victor felt and the emotions that drove him to take his life. I know I certainly had those thoughts when I found my wife of 5 years had been cheating on me through out our whole marriage. I was able to put those thoughts aside and move on with my life with the help of my loving parents. If the best revenge is a life well lived,then I have had my revenge.
nothing is worth suicide
i loved this story, even though i dont believe in suicide, i dont know if i would have done any other way if i was the wife, other than making louis life total hell.
Good Story, But Sad!
As with everything the Celt writes, this story was well plotted, developed and ended. It is a pleasure to read Celt's stories, regardless of the outcome.
The down side is that the story was about suicide. No matter what the conditions or circumstances, suicide is a manifestation of the loss of hope, and, by its nature, a very sad endeavor. In this case, neither the husband nor the wife had the fortitude to face life's difficulties and to overcome them. This happens much too often in real life and the more the pity.
I agree that the fictional character of the wife left a lot to be desired, and that the husband, while deserving of sympathy, was lacking in spine. They are, however, the author's characters to develop and dispose of, and the Celt has done another stellar job of it.
Cheers! (After reading about suicide, one needs it!)
Yes it was sad, but the saddest part
was gonad brained Louis. Now the wife should have spared thier children the loss of a father by killing herself first. Victor would have devoted his life to them and lived to be a ripe old age. But Louis, with his childish immature thinking with his prick should not have gotten off scott free. He should have had to pay some of the cost...As it is he will just say to himself " so the peice of ass is dead..too bad...hey babe...what are you doing tonight..." Good writing as always...
Hmmmm,
I "sorta" liked the story, but in area's it was kinda way too harsh to.
Let me explain.
On one hand it did have some consequences. Some pretty harsh ones for the wife who cheated, but both of the parents took the easy way out instead of dealing with them. The first time wife, because she enjoyed her affair and just didn't want to get caught, but instead of facing the original consequences of what she did tried to talk her way out of it and expected the husband to quickly get over it and pretend it never happened. Later it was the husband's turn, how was his decision to kill himself better than a divorce on the kids? For years they had no idea of what happened or why he died. Now when the other kids have their father for memorable events, their father robbed them of that. I can't say I've ever thought much of taking your own life. Then the wife later did the same thing so she wouldn't have to face her daughters to tell them what she did that made thier father believe that taking his life was the way out. This is going to send them to the nearest Psychologist they can find, possibly screwing them up for any relationships in the future.
At the end there were concequences, but only after the second time she got caught, and then both her and the husband took the easy way out.
That thought process may have been what you were after though. To show how something like this affects everyone, including the children, but mostly what I got from this story was that there were two weak people who'd rather die than face up to emotional pain and never considered the aftermath on others of their decision.
Interesting story, but still a tad harsh for the innocent parties (first the husband and later the daughters when they learn everything) for me though. The wife didn't have to die to attone for what she did. Dying is easy, living is hard. And living while doing the right thing is the hardest of all. What happened here only gave her an "easy way out" to keep from facing up to all the destruction she left in her wake when she selfishly started out.
-Risq
I didnt care for it
The husbands suicide may be reasonable but it doesnt mean it makes for good fiction from my pov. I am glad you didnt expand on the husbands character and thoughts to try and make be empathise with him because that would would have been worse though.
I dont think the womans suicide is at all reasonable though. She had a long term affair that she coincidentally only decided was wrong after she got caught. Even though she was forced to look at the consequences of her action, she still went back for more while she was supposedly rededicating herself to her marriage and family. This pretty much negates the 'I didnt even consider how it would affect my husband' justification. Since we cant use short sightedness, mental illness, stupidity, etc. as the reason she behaved like she did, all thats left is that she didnt care much about her husband. Since she didnt lose anythign she cared about, her suicide seemed out of place even though it was fairly obvious where the author was going right from the opening paragraph (which gave away too much of the story imo).
Why would a woman who didnt give a shit for her husband or marriage be so broken up over his death that she remains fixated on a plan to kill herself for years and years? Just doesnt seem likely to me. Her actions werent general knowledge so she didnt have to deal with people looking down their noses at her. She was taken care of financially. She probably even got off on the attention and sympathy of those trying to comfort her in her time of need. Even if she had been truely sorry for hurting him (not likely given her long term actions), she would have got over it while she was 'pretending' to move on and caring for her daughters.
Since her planning to and then killing herself is the main theme in the story and that doesnt make much sense, it makes the story mostly pointless imo. The story was about the wife but her actions are all over the map and arent consistent at all (even in the context of mental illness of some sort if I was grasping at straws).
Whats left is a story that seemed kludged together, heavy handed, and forced to me.
Still like your writng though even if I didnt think this story was as good as some of your others.
selfish
This is a compelling, well-written story by one of the very best authors on this site. So why don't I like it?
Simple. Both the husband and the wife took the coward's way out, and left their daughters to pick up the pieces.
Victor wasn't man enough to face his wife's betrayal and deal with the consequences, so he simply bugged out, depriving his girls of a father when they needed him most.
Estelle kidded herself that her daughters were "happy" and that she could thus end her life, leaving them totally parentless.
How utterly selfish! The only thing either of them thought about was their own pain, not realizing (or not caring) that by taking the ultimate way out they were inflicting ungodly lifelong pain on their children and the others who loved them.
Damn!
Good news and bad news. The good news is I love this story. The bad news is it has killed a half written story of mine - theres no way I can post it now without being accused of plagarism - such is life!
what about Louis?
I love your stuff Celt, but this story cries out for some kind of justice for Louis. Why don't you write a follow up with the girls getting their revenge on him? You know he will chase them.
In reality
In reality, he's waiting in hell (because he's a wimp) and he's going to shove a pitchfork in her eyeball for the rest of eternity. (because she's a whore) The End.
Very sadly
Suicide is a solution for partnership problems, but not the best.
After the daughters have married, the end was predictable.
This also applies to the suicide of Victor.
Maybe, it's difficult to avoid foreseeability.
I've written a similar story, only shorter than yours.
"Soapbubbles" (Seifenblasen)
Tactical mistake in the plot
Having both the betrayed husband and the unfaithful wife both kill themselves in a story does not make for a good read. You made a tactical mistake in using this plot device. As a reader I niether obtained pleasure from the story nor insight. I could have obtained more enjoyment from a root canal.
Depressing
The only ones I feel sorry for are the daughters.
Boyd
Upon Reflection...
I thought about this story for quite a while, as it disturbed me.
If he (1) didn't want to break up his family, and (2) couldn't stand Estelle screwing around on him, he had a third alternative. He should have found himself a sex buddy - either a pro or somebody who would form a relationship with him. He should have carried this out for a while in a way that Estelle would eventually find out about it. Only then could they both come clean and move on - either together or apart.
The story, though, was very thought provoking.
To SPYKKE
You HAD BETTER post your story! I love your stories, depressing or not!
Don't make a change in any way; just post as you had finished it. THECELT's story is NOT yours. There are many stories were one or two end their lives by committing suicide: they are too afraid to live without another (like the husband here); or they are too supremely selfish to live by themselves and must follow the wimp to the other world, to TORTURE them to ETERNITY (like the wife in this story).
YOURS, Spykke, is yours, whether similar to this or not!
Anyway, THECELT's is okay. But as someone said, the "moral" of the story is --- there's none. It is not very erotic, either. That's unfortunate. There's also NO STORY about the sadness, triumphs, or accomplishments of the daughters, whom NEITHER parents could live, want to live with, until old.
Sad story for all, saddest of all, for the daughters, BOTH growing up and then now growing old NOT KNOWING why both parents killed themselves, when they SEEMED to have been both loving and materially well off.
The father, too stupid and wimpy to live on to raise the daughters, if he couldn't have the woman by himself. And he wanted NO OTHER woman! The mother, too slutty and soiled to live on, because after the wimp died, she found little enjoying fucking around!
Yes, very nice thematic story!
DARK...DEPRESSING....YES BUT
WHEN A SERIES IS CALLED "CONSEQUENCES" I WASNT EXPECTING THE LITTLE MERMAID....
average Joe's Post was perfect
averages Joe post is perfect...
the wife only stopped the affair b/c she was got.... then knowing fully how much onma she caused her Husband went back to fuck Louis again... was the wife depressed? as the stiry show she was not.
Was the wife mentally ill? Again based on what we all read... the answer is no. Therefore we can only conclude she had a character flaw -- that was self absorbed and could not care what her husband felt. her husband was to Borrow a story line in FIFTH PLACE
Average Joe's insightful question show this story is a NOT a great one---
"...Why would a woman who didnt give a shit for her husband or marriage be so broken up over his death that she remains fixated on a plan to kill herself for years and years? Just doesnt seem likely to me...".
Lotta food for thought
celt:
I have to agree with most of the commentors that his suicide was the cowards way out. He should have been filled with rightous indignation and the only thoughts should not have been to end it and leave his daughters to have to try to put the pieces back together in their mind. He should have burned his wife and Louis as only a good legal mind can do. His wife should have been publicly burned with a large "A" on her forehead and Louis burned with whatever public and financial burdens the law allowed. As to her suicide, some see it as a stretch, but I don't. She is a weak willed woman, She cheated willingly with little thought of the consequences other then an occasional twitch. Would she commit suicide? It has happened. There are some who when they finally realize the enormity of their actions are eventually consumed by the guilt of what they have wrought. My only disagreement is that I doubt that she would have had the character to wait for such a long period of time, and I doubt if she would have 'fessed up to her daughters.
Two selfish fucks for parents
So what if their daughters have to go on without any parents, just as long as their pain is gone. Bullshit.
Well written, but without characters with any worth at all, so what?
Pretty much agree with Chagrined
Ignore the 50. I have no idea how to rate it since I don't know what the author intended and can't tell from the story.
I was thinking of the silliness of her logic. But people who commit suicide aren't usually burdened with overdeveloped logic. Her thinking at the end seems to be: These 7 years have been unbearable. I've got to get to him as soon as possible to impress him with my suffering which I'm trying to keep to a minimum.
Why would it impress him that she wants to suffer as little as possible? Wouldn't more suffering be a better show of contrition? Imagine this argument in court.
The Defendant: I'm really sorry judge. I think the best way I can show my remorse is to serve as little time as possible. It would really show sincerity on my part if you gave me a suspended sentence.
Did Celt intend for us to recognize the absurdity of this logic? Did he intend us to find each act more selfish than the last? Did he intend us to recognize the disaster both suicides are to the girls' lives? Did he intend us to have contempt for her pathetic attempt to fool herself that there was any nobility in what she did? If the answer to these questions is yes, then he did a masterful job and I should have given it 100. The more no answers, the lower the score, in my mind. But I can't tell.
In many stories, you get a strong suspicion of what the author intended. I couldn't tell in this one. It's really hard to write a story where the reader finishes and thinks, "No, you di'int," and the reader realizes that's exactly what he wanted them to think.
Bullshit
No winners in this sick story.
Offensive
Celt, normally I enjoy your stories, but this I rated at 50 only because it was well written, if I was rating it on content - well you can't negative score.
Just who is supposed to be paying the consequences here, the way I look at it, ultimately, only the daughters.
For parents they had a pair of truly selfish assholes.
The father who finds out about his cheating wife and rather than fighting for his family and marriage (or even deciding - fuck the marriage, I'll fight for my daughters) does the ultimate wimp act - he offs himself leaving a letter for only the wife to find, surely realising that she'd find it, read it, realise she wasn't careful enough and then destroy it to save her own ass.
The mother who fucks around, has her husband suicide as a consequence, helps the daughters to move past it to the point that they are truly happy again and then makes them live through the entire thing again, even leaving them a full explanation note to rub their noses in it - now, instead memories of loving parents who let life get on top of them, they get "I was a slut and your father found out", what great gift to leave for your children.
The whole idea of the story comes across as "take the easy way out and let someone else pick up the pieces", that ultimately being the children - I find the whole concept truly, truly offensive.
Zoltans comment was excellent
Celt, i did like the story but finally it ended up with the kids going thru' the whole trauma of losing the mother all over again.
Did the kids really have to know on why their father died and the reason for the mother's subsequent action.
The Mom could have taken her problems to her grave thus leaving the kids with pleasant memories of her and their father.
IN some cases it is better to lie if that brings happiness to others than letting the truth shatter their lives later.
But i still did enjoy the story, a different perspective and your talent shows thru.
I will give you a 100 because i still like you as a writer and i find all your stories interesting and enjoyable to read.
Not plausible . . .
The story is well-written but strains credulity. I don't say that there must be a happy ending, or that the bad people must all suffer punishment, but the story bothers me for at least several reasons. Firstly, when a person is depressed enough to commit suicide, he or she can't easily hide the signs. Victor was withdrawn, was not very interested in sex, etc. so the signs were there; his wife Estelle knew something was up. But Estelle was cheerful in company, cheerful with her daughters, went on about her business for seven years without a sign of depression (yet in her mind, she clearly was depressed). This scene is simply not plausible. Secondly, the police would have wondered why an attorney would take an overdose of pills and commit suicide without leaving a note (since the wife destroyed it). How do the police know that the wife did not lace hubby's food with pills, then wipe clean the prescription bottle of her own prints, put hubby's prints on the bottle, and leave it next to him? Without a note, suicide is not a "given." As I said, it's not plausible. And just as we saw with a notorious case in California recently (the Scott Peterson trial), having an affair while your spouse turns up inexplicably dead may cause the police (and later a jury) to think of murder . . .
husband wrote the wrong note!
he should have written something like,
"Estelle, please, don't follow me to hell. I prefer suffering alone there. I don't need you torturing me for an eternity in such a place, too. I have obviously never been a strong man, and for that I suffered in this life; but one brief life time with you was enough for eternity. I don't want to know you exist where I am going. I will ask Satan to reject your application to Hell, if you try to apply for residency there.
"Fuck to your heart's content, as I no longer care about you, the kids, or this life. I have done my duty and have set aside enough money for you three females, the sorriest I've ever met. Your formerly disgraced, wimp of a husband, who could neither live with NOR without you, who took the easy way out."
Nice story of pain all around yet doubtful
We have the wife’s reactions to her cheating and the continuation of her wants over any real feelings to the contrary of her dialogue of confusion. Her decision to immediately plan and carry out a single formed unflinching purpose to end her life with nothing causing her over years to question this tunnel vision. Is this a split personality which doesn’t’ fit as the next personality never changes once it is established. This is a very unbelievable change in mindset at looking at things like two different people.
Well written as always.
PT
Nothing rang true
Usually one of my favorite authors, this story was a disappointment. Starting with the husband/lover dichotomy: steady but boring husband nasty and exciting lover. So many times you read the same dichotomy you start wondering are these per chance the same two characters being borrowed from one story to another? Care to change something in their ‘division of labor’ to make them seem more real? Why not try a husband who is wild and unpredictable and a gentle steady lover; just for the heck of it? Then we move to the main problem: i.e. the myth of the ultimate romantic love sustained despite betrayal; distant cool relations; no communication; no sex; no trust – but enough of it to kill you! Well, that IS the ultimate part of the romantic myth. In the past, most of the victims were the ladies, who found themselves with no prospects in society (at best) and with child (at worst). Then pretty much they were forced (literary speaking) to disappear from the stage so that the pained “gentlemen” could gallantly put a rose on the fresh grave… That’s my cynical take on the typical “classic” versions of the “Killing romantic love”. Was there any social truth to that? I’ll be eager to read some statistics about it, but in literature they were abound.
Now what? Are we to be convinced by this reverse killer love, only now it’s the male’s partner’s time to die? Sorry, but the story itself supplied way too little (other than the final note) to convince me that they actually HAD loving relations. It’s like: SHOW ME THE LOVE! What I was left with is just the adaptation of the old clichéd version of ‘love to death’, with no new twist or internal conviction. The writing as such, was the saving grace, and I appreciate your effort.
I have to agree with most commenters...
who said that this was a sad story of two very weak parents. Victor took his life when it was clear to him that Estelle could not be trusted to keep her promises. It is hard to understand how a senior partner would leave his kids in the hands of such a selfish and immature woman. Based upon his funeral there were no close relatives who could intervene if Estelle took up her wild lifestyle. Estelle took the easy way out and left her kids when her guidance would have been the most help (i.e., marriage, children).
I can not say that I liked the story but you did a good job in conveying Estelle emotions.
SleeplessinMD
A Mind Bender - By Writer Choice
After reading the deep and for the most part sincere reader inspection of the characters and their actions - in my mind only 1 commentator came close to the writers intentions - and then he wasn't sure.
First understand that the depth of emotion caused by a good writer in the theme of marital consequence warps many expressed opinions because they are now intimately involved in the why and doing what men do - solve problems by postulating and understanding them to their satisfaction or not, then taking scripted tactical action in resolution.
By nature, men are "problem fixers" and most are (and need to be) rational in that process - especially in place of non-experience. Do you see many or few comments by the fairer sex on these stories of marital consequence?
You see - women are more emotionally flexible, therefore they can accept and deal with irrationality much better then men in most cases as they are not programed to obsessively "fixit" above all else. This just follows life and is on average a good thing most of the time as I see it.
So men, if you can agree that it is impossible to be rational about irrationality then we are at the crux of most of the criticisms of this story.
Suicide isn't rational to those breathing but could become a solution to the one who caused it to a loved one. What better punishment and form to follow for forgiveness or escape to wherever one goes. Tell me you haven't read of family killings where the last act is suicide? Logically illogical isn't it - well just ask your psychologist.
And so Mr. thecelt, you have been doing your homework haven't you! The Author, now a Story Teller, knows from his inspections of life that humans do and think irrationally to us but not to themselves at that moment or time frame they are in for selfish or stupid reasons.
Lastly, there was a comment of sameness here for which I disagree and the evidence and number of comments supports my position.
The slate is marital consequence and while the players are always spouses whose actions are contrary to marital expectation, the stages, plays and acts can vary strongly as this one did. Just ask the next person you know who has commited suicide if they were irrational in their action.
Very Impressive Author - you keep spinning and we'll keep being spun to eventual understanding - maybe.
With Very High Regard
At least she kept those final promises.
She seemed to have forgotten the really big promise she made all those years ago about forsaking all others. I usually don't like suicide stories. They seem to take the easy way out of a problem. I kinda wonder what his face looks like in the afterlife when she shows up.
I don't care what any one else says
I Liked it! Consequences are a bitch, and out of all the cheating spouses in the world there are, statistically speaking, gonna be stories like this one I am sure.
You did a lovely job writing a sad unfortunate tale, and I for one eagerly await the next one
Martyr2002
what year ?
I guess this was concluded in '2011, since she fucked ol luis in a '2004 van. Anyway, great story but sad tale. peace: Q
Anon poster bent my mind a bit!
After some effort, I understand that Anon reader has determined to grant major waver on behalf of ‘Irrationality’ to two major segments of the population: Women and writers. I beg to differ. I do agree though, that what SEEMS Irrational to some people may seem rational to others. It works on macro level (between societies /cultures and religions) as it works on micro level, the level on which Anon. was focusing on.
I have yet to read the science which supports the claim that women are better at dealing with apparent Irrationality. Last I heard no one have established an ultimate winner in an imaginary gender race. It seems to me that man and women deal DIFFERENTLY with PROBLEMS of different sorts with relative areas of advantage and disadvantage; plus it’s culturally dependent –bottom line way too complex to declare a winner. But please Anon. show the science on dealing with irrationality I’ll be happy to stay corrected. Having said that, the waiver for writers is even less plausible. It is the job of the author to show the readers HOW the Irrational mind (as it stemmed to others) did make sense to that person. For some, the notes WERE SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH OF AN EXPLANATION.
Offering the fig leaf of ‘irrational tormented mind’ is not the bottom line -it’s just a new front. Show/ explain the workings of that mind as recent work has recently shown so well.
Anon in USA Mi
Yes, I suppose we all have heard of family killings where the last act is suicide, but in saying that, in all the ones I have heard of, all the actions take place over a short time span ie kill the partner, kill the children (or make sure the children are visiting relatives before killing partner), go "Oh gee what have I done" and then proceed to off ones self. Apart from this story I haven't heard of any others where the gap between "Oh gee" and the suicide has stretched to 7 years.
Oh Mr. Kolkore - Your Capitalization Is
Having read your comments for some time, I must say that we generally travel the same road except on occasion with this being one and usually only in minor variation.
A writers job is to entertain and involve the readers mind in his mindset or path, but not to build a watch in every case. Not to offend, but short story's are not always condusive to full explanations to everyone's satisfaction. In many cases I have found myself where you are but in this case we just disagree - and thats ok - isn't it?
Sometimes it is what it is, but left to many to examine - to step back and buy in - or not. Sometimes writers intend it and sometimes it is just a product of their process. Sometimes it is provoking of thought and emotion --- well you know the possibilities.
Now to the gender race you mentioned - I don't recall 1. I know we agree that minds and their viewpoints, often based on experiance, can differ even in the same sex let alone Venus, Mars or OZ.
In the other vein, hopefully, you have never contemplated suicide, but know of others that have or in fact have been successful at it. I been there, in contemplation obviously, then also you must know others in medication mode to help handle their life in the short or long term for one reason or another.
Again their reasons are not ours and without their shoes we, nor the man from Oz, can never know or understand their depth or difficulty(s). Or the time feeding it to resolution or not. If we could talk to the successful ones, we certainly wouldn't agree with their finality - their irrationality.
So, at least in this case Mr. Kolkore, lets respect each other and the possibilities as finiteness in matters of the mind are never as totally predictable as desired.
Sorry Author, but you did provoke well - didn't you.
With Very High Regard (for each of you)
Bad
Your inconsistent characterization of the Wife really hurt this story. She didn't want to here from here Lover and changed Markets....but NOT her cell phone number? And not telling her Lover to fuvk off and just walking away was far too complicated but a seven-years-later suicide is not!?
better ending?
let him find the satisfaction with living, his kids and finding someone that was not a whore? her guilt, perhaps mostly getting caught.
Moral of the Story:
If you don't east your woman's pussy (and do it well), you might as well kill yourself. You are better off dead.
smiling face?
is any smiling face (from him) in her imagination, after she had such responsibility for the whole thing? wishful thinking ? interesting thought, her rejected for being a slut for eternity
praise
You are a GREAT writer.
Thank you e
crap
yea, he wouldnt have been waiting for her in the afterlife and she def would have been sent to hell, because in every culture, cheating is considered a sin and she obviously wouldnt have stopped. maybe this is harsh, but i couldnt have cared less that she killed herself, but frankly thats the cowards way out. then again, she was a weak person, so its stands to reason she would be a coward.
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