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English
Not the usual structure
I greatly enjoyed your use of language, the pace and texture of your descriptions. Terrific. You impel people to read. Please write more.
Very Descriptive!
This writer's forte is being able to describe the actions of his characters. Very well written!
Good reading!
You did not show the need for this communication. Was she married and desirous of a young cock? Was she an old maid? Why did she want this young cock at this point in her life?
Improve the Grammar
Spell-Check won't make sure that tenses match or that the best word appropriate to the situation has been chosen. But problems there stop the flow of the story, as the reader wonders how it could be improved. Eventually, the reader may be so distracted that s/he gives up.
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