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English
~~
Peering through a keyhole
Watching them play
Power games
Variations ∞
~
Your poem has an intriguing center image. Unfortunately, it's verbose and adjective laden. The word-layout around the center is confusing.
I found ....
...the font required some effort to make out but the picture you paint is clear. Moody piece with illustration to match.
Tess
Fantasy travelers
I was intrigued (and not for the first time) by the interplay between of the photo and the words. Sorry, but I can’t help it – where and how did you get that photo? I realize that these questions go to the process, not to the final outcome, but I was intrigued – sue me!) It evokes a middle- eastern /mideterenian architecture (for some reason I am stuck on Morocco). I realize that I could be totally off here, but the opaqueness of the picture could not forbid me from having my own fantasy travel.
As in the poem the questions are who is inside/ who is out side? Who is waiting for who and when?
UNLIKE the poem, the photo does not seem to try to illustrate the interior description of the first stanza. For me, that is a BIG PLUS. I have nothing against decorative or Illustrated Poetry. My personal bias is, though, that each part of the artistic whole would claim equal share to the total effect. In that sense, the fact that the photo does not provide an ‘illustration’ to the room, forces us to conceptualize it as something else. In addition to “forcing” us into the role of voyeurs/participants in the poem (as Le Broz’s have pointed out), the photo emphasized for me the couple’s sense of fantasy, a sense of waiting for the unknown in an exotic place.
I say, let the couple celebrate their mutual attraction by whatever takes them to that place...
BTW, I had some technical problems in reading the text. To solve it, I copied the photo into another program which allowed me to enlarge the photo.
LeBroz...
you Peeping Tom you! I wonder what you saw that I didn’t! Again, thank you for your comments.
Anonymous (perchance neonurotic/everso bad)....
as a fellow illustrated poet, I’m pleased you liked the image. I held hope that punctuation would lead the eye. I’m sure you enjoy the artistic challenge/marriage of font/spacing as much as I. And I agree with you, it takes practice and I need more. ‘Tis in part why I’ve elected this medium; I welcome the challenge. Thank you for your comments.
Tess...
thank you for your comments. Sometimes, some are in that mood :) Until I select the best software to overcome that shrinkage thing, one has an easier read by using the magnifier. As an illustrated poet Tess, do you have any suggestions/recommendations re software? How 'bout you, neonurotic, do you have any to offer?
KOLKORE...
Thank you for appreciating the challenge one faces when imaging a poem. Isn’t it grand one now can collect FANTASY AIR MILES® reward miles! I’m experimenting with different software that hopefully will work in concert w/ the site’s submission procedures. Bear with me, please. Thank you once again for sharing your compelling comments. FYI, the photo was taken from w/ in my new home, a renovated barn.
to wait.
This poem strikes a magical balance of warmth, whimsy and mystery. The last line says it all, "Waiting is nothing but an exquisite prelude."
A ROOM IN A HOUSE
is not like a home TK U MLJ LV NV
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