by klark420
Good story, quite enjoyable.
A couple minor corrections:
6:oo in the evening ==> 6:00 in the evening
inside her was to much ==> inside her was too much
The plot promises more titillation, so we hungrily await more!
Sarah walking home through the woods is scared out of her wits by a Presence - that's right - it's Mr. Vampire, old greedy gut, who starts giving the poor girl love bites. Enjoyable story. Written beautifully!
Good luck in the contest!
A little correction ( hope you don't mind :) )
she was meant with a huge blast of wind ---> she was met with a huge blast of wind
Other than that, I LOVED this story! It was wonderfully written. Great job, and looking forward to the rest. :)
I loved your story and hope that you write a sequel soon, I am anxious to know what happens to Sarah next. Keep up the good work!!!
I didn't like certain words that you used. The fact that you used words such as "snatch" and "dick" make the story less enjoyable. I'm not trying to flame you or anything, but I think you should just spice up the vocabulary you use, you know? All in all, it was very enjoyable. I loved it!