Making a Devil out of Me

soooo GOOD

right combination of naughty and sexy!

Excellent!

Keep more cumming!

Just like Basic Instinct

WOW Ilike how she seduces him,very erotic story....

Very hot story

Nicely done story... leaves the reader wanting more.

We are not worthy.

My goodness, en_extase. Following a similar formula from before, you've simply out done yourself. I sent a private comment to you about a month ago hoping to encourage you to write another story. You certainly did not disappoint after the long wait for another one since your last submission.

Technically, you're one of the better writers on the entire site. You understand dialogue. You understand how people communicate with one another --- and you know how to get it across in the written word.

You have a good sense of humor, i.e. "they have great fries." And how apropos was your description of the walk to the restroom? I could completely sympathize with the guy's feeling about people watching him. What a great detail to include. I also related completely to the sock thing. It's the same feeling I get regarding plaid "school girl" type skirts --- some kind of blend of sexiness and innocence, particularly effective as a look for your 'femme fatale.' You do a great job of explaining the psychological make up of your main character. You don't go into tedious explanations where it's not warranted.

What really sets you apart is your realism. I'll be honest. I don't mind having my suspension of disbelief stretched more than is necessary with you. I can enjoy some of the more cartoonish/over the top characters other people come up with. I love the supernatural, pseudo science, psychological/hypnosis, or other explanations for behaviors. However, you always like keeping it more real than that. While your characters engage in behavior that slightly stretches credulity, I've met women who enjoy the kind of motivations you've ascribed to your female characters, even if the scenarios they involved themselves in didn't exactly meet the audacity some of your characters pull off.

If you're looking to improve your writing style, the only encouragement I could possibly give you is to attempt to use more metaphors/similes in your descriptions. Don't worry about it if you don't. Frankly, I'm pretty poor with that gift myself. Your stories don't need it. It's simply the hallmark of great writers, so if you're looking to aspire to improve your craft, that's an area you neglect for the most part.

As far as male seduction goes, you simply GET it. Man, I wish everyone who wanted to write on the subject (too few people, IMO) did it nearly as well as you do --- consistently, I might add.

Too many times we see supposed seduction stories where the woman exposes her breasts and the next thing we know the guy is fucking her. What kind of seduction is that?

The mind is the greatest aphrodisiac. Nearly all of us want to be seduced in some form or fashion. The idea of not having complete control over a situation, the forbidden nature of most seductions (otherwise, why say no?), being the target of someone else's lust. It's a powerfully combustible recipe. You are a master with it.

The key to a successful seduction story IMO is we have to believe in the reluctance of the victim. The most powerful way to get this across is to have the man reject the seductress. You do this in one of the best ways possible --- outside interruptions breaking the mood. And lucky for us, you show great patience. His ratcheting emotions are broken up at the bathroom by the unseen man trying to use it, the phone conversation, the clock in her bedroom --- then in a great twist, by her insistence that he make her come through oral sex while being handcuffed to a pillar, instead of actually fucking her and getting some kind of personal relief.

Her seducing him while he's talking on the phone with his girlfriend is an incredible turn on. And thank goodness you finally had him take her from behind in the kitchen. Jeez, that was hot! I was concerned, too. I knew the story was 4 pages. Him giving her cunnilingus took us fairly well into the last page. The story wouldn't have been nearly as fulfilling if he hadn't finally fucked her. What a great "giving in" scene, too, and I loved the conclusion regarding the return to the burger joint, lol!

Overall, just an outstanding tale. I certainly hope you keep submitting your stories to this site. You are one of the very few --- along with temptanddestroy and EnCarta --- whose name I look for nearly every day. Without rushing you, I certainly look forward to your next submission.

Thanks again. Good luck with all your future endeavors.

Hysterical

This story cracks me up. It hits right at the fundamental core of all men. We are such pigs. I think we have all had one or more similar situations. Perhaps it also touches on something about women. They always get what they want.

Hurrah!

Too good!

a hot and high-pitched drama of the constant battle between love and lust!
emotions and contexts detailed out just perfectly.

awesome

this was so good, I think its the best thing I've read on literotica so far, seriously fantastic stuff!

awesome

I freaking loved this story. you should wirte more I got so turned on I am looking forward to more of your stories.

Superb!

Perfect blend of anticipation and payoff. Marvelously excruciating foreplay. I began to suspect an Alyssa/Kristen conspiracy, which wouldn't be too damned shabby. Please write a sequel; you could become a legend of Literotica.

SEXY/PERFECT

Its unusual to see a writer with so few submissions write something at the level this story achieves. Excellent work. This theme seems to be very effective for you, and certainly for the readers. I encourage you to explore it further.

surprising!

I wasn't optimistic, but I came until I was exhausted.
...and I'm a girl.

One of the best submissions on Literotica

Brilliantly written, exciting concept, well carried out, good anticipation and suspense - all in all, very hot!

I loved it!

You have a talent for letting us in the mind of a man who has lost all control.

Perfect

Nuff said. Just the right mix to make a perfect story.

OK, you have me right where you want me.

Wow. I've read a few erotic stories, here and other places, but I have never enjoyed any as much as yours. I want to chain myself to a column in your living room until you write more. In my mind you are one of the teasing , coy, naughty little kittens from one of your stories. And just in case you are not, shhh...let's keep it secret. Unless...well...maybe that is who you really are...maybe you could send me a little note to let me know. You know what I think? I think, based on your style and themes and the way your stories enthrall me, I think you already know what I want. You know EXACTLY what I want.

That leaves only one question. ;)

I've read this so many times....

I just read this story...again...and it still makes me throb with desire. I love the way the author struggles with his lust, how well he illustrates the inner conflict, and the way he makes me horny as hell! Love all his work, but this is my favorite. Thank you!
~just.stacy

The best story oone has read so far.
The plot, the twists...jeez...will be looking out for your work. Kudos

Take a bow

I hate to say it but damn,i gta say i've read a few of these and usually keep myself in check but you write magnificently if you not into writing formally think about starting brilliantly realised.i came despite myself hat off and please if u reading this take a bow.

loved it but...

I'm curious as to how she got in the damn house...I pay attention to detail way too much and for the life of me...i couldn't figure out how she could possibly get inside the house.

good work

eroticism aside, you are a talented writer. the story line and narrative tone of the story was extremely engaging.

i hope you write stories of a non erotic nature as well, because i think you are very skilled at this.

that said, don't stop with the erotic stories either!

Incredible

Incredible writing and enthralling. You have a gift - no doubt you're considering other avenues. Great!

wish this would happen to me!!!

Well, en extase, if you're a guy, I know what your secret fantasy is, judging by almost all your stories: you want to be hustled and come on to by a very strong, sexy female who dominates you utterly while you protest in a submissive way to the point that you're utterly helpless, give in, and suddenly transform into the lustful roaring lion your protestations first tried to hide. (not a bad fantasy at all - I've never been hustled in this way and...dang - what a hot fantasy!!! All your stories have had me going!)

And if you're a woman, you are no doubt a dominatrix at heart and, wow, your come-on-strong ways have made it hard...to resist...fantasizing about you!

Thanks for the work you've put into your stories, the details, and the alluring images.

Time now for a cold shower!

Sexiest. Story. Ever.

Quite simply, this is one of the most amazing stories I've ever read. I echo the others: you could be a professional writer. I know I'll be reading the rest of your stories! :)

I was half-expecting the end of the story to reveal that his girlfriend had arranged the whole thing and was using it to set up a 3-some. lol

Your storytelling was perfect, and your dialogues and monologues were captivating. Nevermind the ultra-seductive way that you made Alyssa come alive on the page, this was a masterpiece!

Oh my God.

My God, that was amazing. I think deep down this is a girl's dream as well as guy's. Girls want a guy who absolutely cannot resist her, and guys want a girl who seems to be desperate to have him.

Fucking hot.

Impressive and orgasm-inducing

I've been reading from literotica for at least 8 years and this is one of the best stories I have ever read. You're a great writer and your turn ons definitely mirror some of mine. Great work ~ A happy girl

Beyond comprehension

Seriously, I've been reading erotica near a decade now and I'd have to say this rates in the top 3 for me. The handcuffs idea? Brilliant!!

If you haven't done so already, please continue writing this series. It's an absolute joy to read.

Well done :)

Nice read

This was a great story, walking the line of how to control without going too far to the dark side. Hope you write more!

That was hot

That was one of the best stories I have ever read. I was so hooked that read all 4 in the series in one sit down. you must write more.

Excellent...

An excellent job by a fine writer. Thanks for sharing your talent.

Top Notch!

You've woven a tale that's simultaneously frolicking, seductive, suspenseful and downright steamy! There are none of the usual distractions characteristic of many writers on the site - poor grammar, misspellings, etc. But your craft is not simply aesthetically pleasing in a technical sense - it's engaging at an emotional and intellectual level. Thanks for taking the time and energy to create a real work of art!

I've submitted a couple of stories to the site (check them out under AverageBear) that have been very well-received, but I now aspire to submit more that generate the volume of universally favourable feedback that I see on this one. Well done!

Absolutely adored it.

Amazing, amazing story. I hope to read maybe another chapter in this plotline. So hot.

wow...

Still my favorite from this author, although I love everything he has written.

Great romp in fantasy...

Great romp in fantasy. Something many of us dream about, but would hate to happen.
Good writing. You held my interest to the end.

Masterpiece

enough said

Alyssa is sexy! and Yummy!

She is the ultimate femme fatale!

Fun!

I hope I never, ever date a guy like you.

But this was a fun read.

Incredible, too good to stop.

Wow. It was breath- "taking"! You are a talented writer and I thank you for that fine piece of flight. I just wanted to let you know you have a gift, although I'm sure you must know by now. Keep up the great work. Thank you so very much.
JP

Wow, What A Surprise

...and what a turn on! I could clearly imagine what what happening in the story. I wanted to be that naughty girl. Hmmm...you are an amazing author.

take a Bow!!!!

amazing story... took just the right time to weave the plot and the result was spectacular... certainly a masterpiece of Erotica...

Wow.

This is definitely the best erotic fiction I've read yet. The characters kept in line with their personalities, and Ot was great fun seeing the guy stuggle under Alyssa's power. Keep Writing!

Superb

This story has to be the very definition of erotic fiction. A superbly crafted effort that was excrutiatingly exciting. Only downside for me was the overuse of the semi-colon which was used too frequently, and often incorrectly, but other than that it was orgasmically good. Keep it up!

Best yet!

That was the most exciting and stimulating story I've read on here - I cant tell you how often it helped me!! Please keep writing more stories!

More

I would like for the story to continue and blackmail the Girlfriend as well and more from there! Very hot story!

how i love alyssa

great story too.

Best story by far

This is the best story on the entire site. Please write more stories.

Wow!

Great story! Well written, suspenseful, tantalizing, and definitely very sexy! Please keep writing, you have a gift!

gud story

dayummmmmnnn, gud story and kristen is stupid...

Don´t stop!

Damn! That was soo hot I gotta go right now you know where.
Pleasee I beg of you write another story like this it was so arousing seeing the man succumb to her power and desires.
YES! More of this genre pleaseee.
Ivasko.

OMFG!!

That was HOTT!! While reading this story I had to make myself cum several times!! Great way to start my day!! Keep up the fuckin hot stories!! cumm & wishes!!