As I do your other writing, however, there seemed to be something missing. Emotion? Something tangible. Perhaps you meant this to be a flash back of memories from the narrator where the emotional aspect wasn't necessary. Though, this is some nice work. The sex was hot, great setting description but I think a bit more visceral would've made this better for me as a reader to connect with your story.
English
I liked this story
As I do your other writing, however, there seemed to be something missing. Emotion? Something tangible. Perhaps you meant this to be a flash back of memories from the narrator where the emotional aspect wasn't necessary. Though, this is some nice work. The sex was hot, great setting description but I think a bit more visceral would've made this better for me as a reader to connect with your story.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Director's Couch or
More submissions by sr71plt.