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English
Good job
I liked the story a lot, but I felt that it was rushed and too short, hence the 75 degree rating rather than the 100. It was well written also but I have seen too many stories like this here.
Good, but...
the underlying pathos is merely hinted at...
Interesting but........
you really seem to be obsessed with the word Black with a cap B. We know she's black. You would be better served by really descibing her attributes in realistic terms. What shade is her complexion? etc.
Have you evely really been with a woman of color? Most "black" people in America are interesting shades of brown.
Traveller
Great story!
Was hoping for an happier ending, but still well written!
Also felt it was rushed, and needed. .
As a black woman myself and literotica devotee for several years, I think there are too many stories of black men and blondes. But there is an audience or they would not be posted here. I enjoy stories about ebony women and white men. If your story was longer, I would have given you a higher rating. Also there needs to be more description of the female. Unless you are from Alaska or somewhere far away, you have seen at least one african american. our complexions vary from lily to beige white due to slavery and other reasons and go all the way up to the shiny black of the darkest african and all the colors in between.
Also felt it was rushed, and needed. .
As a black woman myself and literotica devotee for several years, I think there are too many stories of black men and blondes. But there is an audience or they would not be posted here. I enjoy stories about ebony women and white men. If your story was longer, I would have given you a higher rating. Also there needs to be more description of the female. Unless you are from Alaska or somewhere far away, you have seen at least one african american. our complexions vary from lily to beige white due to slavery and other reasons and go all the way up to the shiny black of the darkest african and all the colors in between.
Great idea...
....although it feels rushed and would have benefited from an extra page. I'm sorry I'm just now discovering this, but certainly the idea held lots of promise to expand upon--even in only one installment. If you write more, expand on the intervening details of how they "got on" so well and show the seduction. I'll say 4, as what is there is charming and cute.
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