by Samuelx
Look for help in your writing. It might help you be a better amateur writer.
There is no mention of the original character 'Alice.' So it's wrong to bill this as a continuation of the irish woman's story. It's all narrated and that makes it even worse.
I loved the idea, the sequence, the plot, hated the writing style, I gave you a afive, in hopes you will go get some help in making it better
You are trapped in a very specific set of fetishes. Try to write something that is outside of your comfort range and perhaps you would improve.