Tricia: Settling the Score

Great

I liked the original JPB story more than any of his others and I am an admirer. This seems an excellent continuation.

I like it that you begin by admitting that revenge is wrong but I'm also well aware that most of us could be tempted.

Obviously the size and irresistible attraction of black cock is a male fantasy but it makes a good story – probably not for black readers who would surely feel pretty uncomfortable about a lot of the stories on this site. Curiously two (white) women have commented to me on how much gentler and better mannered black Americans tend to be than whites of any nationality.

Well Done

I enjoyed this - a well written, well plotted story with believable characters. Sometimes you do reap what you sow.
Thanks to the author.

An excellent sequel

To be honest, I was expecting a much more psycho revenge. As it was, the murder was fairly tame compared to other revenge stories I have read. Nice work!

Very Good Sequel

Enjoyed it...only flaw was Tricia's background into the matter...it seems to have excused her...and that she had no choice in the rape...makes a guy wonder when does "NO" mean "NO"...

A good read...

Logical followup to JPB's story. Too bad Tricia didn't just call the cops after she'd been raped...both times. Sure messed up a good family.

Trica

great ending,belivable,altough wife would need counsling to deal with her reaction to rape.pay backs were greatly needed!I hate wimp stories

Nicely told

That was twisted, Jack, and nicely so. The interesting thing about the story is that there is no actual proof that Rob murdered Archie. We don't really know if the brakes on Archie's truck failed or not. Perhaps he hit a slick spot on a curve or one of the old tires blew out and he just lost control of his vehicle. Either way, Rob got his revenge. It's a dark and evil form of closure, a hint at the madness which lurks in his soul. He was willing to kill once. When will he do so again?

Good prose and excellent characterizations lay the foundation for a great tale. jack_straw does a good job moving the characters through the scenes in the story, showing us Rob's anger and Tricia's remorse as the marriage blows apart. Archie as the impact character is too lightly handled to make us interested in him and the authorship falters a bit here. Why was he a rapist? Why did he like to target white women? Why didn't prison rehabilitate him? Yes, I know all these are ancillary questions to the main plot but they're good questions and I wouldn't have been put off to see jack explore them.

Excellent fiction this is. This 100's for you, jack_straw, for a story well-told. I thank you.

white male BS

The oversexed "Black animal", Das Bestie"! Gimme a break.

The story did need a conclusion

and this was pretty well done.

Thanks for the completion.

Regards, DJ

Thanks, Jack!

Finally, a story that gets it right! Great story. Well written. Justice was served.

Rapists deserve anything that happens to them and I feel no remorse or pitty on their behalf. Keep up the good work.

DREMAN

i am a black male and your story was great

raping a woman is wrong,what color you're.the story was great and plot was great.you write good stories and i don't know what color you're.i think if we stop looking at color and look at the problems there will be a lot taking care of.you write your stories your way and forget the people will small minds.i think that is the logic of the whole picture for us to focus on color and not the problems.in reading your work you sound like a smart man,so how about dealing with problems and forget the color.that will help this country grow.sorry got carried away.

Great ending!

Bravo-finally a near-perfect ending to a sad fictional story. The revenge on wife was minimal but effective. Thanks for your efforts.

racism? sexism? or just unequal justice?

lets see, they both betrayed the hubby, but how different the reaction.

the white woman is treated with hugs, and a fair divorce after she betrayed hubby and their marriage. her excuses for rough sex is accepted bespite the betrayal. she is comforted because of the high school incident. all in the end is nearly forgiven.

but the black man is coldly murdered. after all, he is a "rabid dog, a predator who needed to be taken out permanently." not a human being.

a bit unequal. i wonder how much the acceptance here is because he is black? or because she is a woman?

Great Story

A great story. Thanks for sharing it.

Too Much Fluff

Jack, you fell into the too often used theme of "guy gets betrayed, guy finds other women, guy does ex again." Look your story over. None of that was necessary to get your point across. In fact, it could be said it got in the way of telling your story. Also, I didn't see any support in the story for the "hero" not taking quick, direct action right from the start. It was missing in the original JPB thing, but you’re a much better writer. I expected more from you. Next time, Jack, please don’t rush your story into print. The haste shows.

Good Entertainment

Pretty good story enjoyable read.

My Apologies

I don't know what happened but when I copied and pasted your story into MSWord, I lost everything after "I never heard anything more about it." I thought that was the end, but I found that there was more when I went back to read the ending again.

What a shock! Reading the rest changed my attitude and my appreciation of the story somewhat but not enough to change my rating. The ending was weak and indecisive in my estimation. Everything turned out to be "NoWheresVille," and now he's thinking of taking the cheater back because (at least it sounds this way to me) he cannot find anyone else. That's pathetic in my book. There is always someone else somewhere. If not, singleness is better than living with a cheating broad who has a serious character flaw (as in she repeatedly fucks every black man that comes along and rapes her first).

Excellent conclusion

I enjoyed the story thoroughly. It was literate, well written and well thought out.

The fact that the rapist was black, seems immaterial to me. He could have been any race, JPB made him black and I think that jack_straw was just continuing on with that story line.

The relationship with the realtor seemed to be filler to me. It could have been left out and the story would not have suffered.

The one thing that I would have liked to have seen, especially since the ex wife and husband appeared to be reconnecting at the end, was the wife getting some counselling concerning how she reacts to being physically, sexually assaulted. She admitted that her slut behavior after such an attack was something she couldn't control and thought it might happen again. To me this would help in the husband's regaining some trust in her, knowing that she is addressing the issue that split them up.

Wow, what a great ending to one of JPB's stories

Too bad some of his other stories couldn't end like this one. It didn't matter about the guys color to me, it just mattered that he paid for his rape of the wife. I don't think I could have gotten back with the wife. What would happen when she encountered another black guy?

Archie

You did a great job on that story and what happened to Archie thats life I`m shure you Tricia and Rob will get past there problems now that Archie is out of the picture.
I hope you continue with more great stories like this .
Pat Murray
Atlanta,Ga.

Great Sequel!

Perhaps there should be a JPB Story Completion Contest for various authors to develop sequels. I do not think that JPB would mind and it could bring some closure to some of his best stories. When you look at the collection of JPB stories you have to admit that he is one of the most creative authors on this site. Unfortunately, many of his stories leave the reader hanging.

You did an outstanding job adding flavor to the characters especially when you detailed Tricia's first submission to a dominant lover. I do not think it has anything to do with the color of her rapist. Tricia started a pattern of sexual submissiveness to any dominant lover. That is why the divorce was a good idea.

Thanks for writing!

SleeplessinMD

how to finish JPB stories with a 100 % rating

you should give JPB a lesson on how to finish a story.
JPB know how to write a story and have it just half finished you should end all of his stories.

Jack Ploughs Bob

You should have built a better story in hubster tracking down the first rapist too and whacking him. Your method though was simply boring with no imagination.
If you are going to bother to create a new centaur of Bob and Jack, you need to come up with a better storyline for revenge for the character to enjoy.

A Hole Lotta Dancin Goin On Here

While I am mostly pleased with the story's consequential resolution and have strong respect for the Authors ability, I am surprised by the exhibited dancelike attitude towards bobie by most offering thoughts.

Prolific without a doubt, however while semi-talented above average bobie's constant refrain of human self disrespect and particularly male self disrespect through wife and cock watching and self cuckolding is insulting to 99.9% but exciting to but a few into the worst male humiliation fetish.

His talent is over rated and quirky. Frankly Author, he couldn't carry your keyboard talent-wise or credibility wise. He is innovative and certainly has more time and self incentive to write than most authors here.

His voiced opinions of only writing for himself so go to hell with reader feelings and emotions not even read are well known as well as in his bio.

So is it any real surprise that most feel he is a train-wreck of dead babies going to happen in spite of his more current reversal of 5 to 1 respect vs wimpy cuckster?

Who knows or really cares. But he does provide fodder for healthy writers to humanely and realistically close what he purposely leaves open for the worse contemplated conclusions by the sick and to avoid criticism from the healthy semi-normals.

Look, it is easier to write a story cutely carried by the male self administered humiliation depravity than to write a story of real people in erotic and sensual and arousing scenarios. It's hard to be human-like and entertaining in an arousing way.

So to be clear thanks for cleaning up his mess in a way most understand in an entertaining manner. It was largely like life and therefore credibile but not your best in view of what you had to write from.

Thanks Author

Revenge of the Cuckold???

Why is it, that after taking care of Tricia's lover does good old Rob feel he has to take up with the slut that caused him to commit murder?

Tricia told him she'd done this before, did it with Archie and would most likely do this again given half a chance and the right circumstances. Is he a man or a cuckold?? Is he so desperate that he feels there are no women in the world he can love but the woman who claims to love him but is a slut for every black guy with confidence to try to pick her up?

I was rooting right up to the end for Rob. He took a bad situation and did his best to get his confidence back. He even got into a friendly situation with his ex, which is more than I would have done. Then he goes and gets stupid and admits at the end that he's actually considering marrying the slut AGAIN! All I have to say is if she does it again he's got no one to blame but himself and I hope this time her black boyfriend really cuckolds him. Who know maybe he could get her boyfriend hard with his mouth for their second go-round.

A Bit Light

Shoulda made the nigger suffer more. Then to wimp out and crawl back to the slut when he was off to such a great new start in life. Otherwise a pretty good yarn

killing a nigger isn't murder

Killing a black man would be murder but a NIGGER ....naw...

A decent story...

It was a good story, I agree about the cabin solicitor being a filler but I thought it was well written. On another note, Zed or Jed(Whatever his name is) you had better keep the NIGGER comments to yourself. More than likely you are nothing but a NIGGER anyways. There are those out there of all different ethnic backgrounds who are predators. The truth is his wife had slut in her to begin with, and predators can pick up on it. Its all in the eyes.

Great Ending

Wonderful ending to an excellent story. Any chance you could entertain us with an alternative ending or two?

I re-read the story & want to recast my vote to 100. It's true killing the nigger out right would have caused him to go to jail needlessly, sabotaging his brakes was perfect. He should let the slut wife know, or at least dropped a hint or two to make her nervous. I was a little surprised she wasn't killed in the accident with the nigger. (Yes you anonymous moron from texASS, I do know the difference between a black and a nigger, you need to learn the difference between your ass & a hole in the ground). Keeping the slut around as a fuck buddy is always good policy, but re-marring the slut would be a definite case of closet cuck.

If there was a contest for the best revenge story!

If such a contest was viable, this is a dead-ringer to finish in the top 5 spots. Author: please take the time to finish any of the vast number of JPB's half-finished stories that need a respectable revenge ending. It would most likely would be worth paying for. Well done and thank you from the realistic group of readers.

Dull Plot But Pretty Well Written

I thought the story seemed contrived, but that the author composes and structures better than most I've read at this site. It was a wimp's revenge, with the only balls to be seen on the man who stole his wife. Even the main character's bravado when sending a warning to Archie lacked virility. If you're going to call a man out, then call him out. Don't make vague threats and try to scare him.

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Archie grins as he mocks my sissy boy threats. He turns to me and gloats, "I been fucking your wife like can't never have done. Man, I turned that bitch from being a uptight church lady type into a nasty whore in one day. How's that make you feel, Robbie? And I did it right under your muthafuckin' nose! But now you've got me so scared, Mr. Little Dicked White Motherfucking Loser, talkin' that bad shit about what you gonna do to that mystery dude who been fuckin' your woman, that I might just ball up right here and die from fright."

I think the author is probably a meek little guy who had something like this happen to him --- probably his old lady getting pipe from his best friend who's a bigger wank than he is --- and this is the best he could come up with in the form of vengeance. Pitiful, but not badly written.

What?

I guess this last poster is just a killer, a murderer, if you can do it without balls. To kill anyone takes a great deal of balls. Even with the best of plans you can wind up in prison which, unless you're psycho, is not where you want to be.
But, it's all relative, isn't it. Some have lives far above that of a prisoner, others maybe not so good.

I was thinking all along it was too bad she didn't shoot him before he left the place. Woulda been a little messy but I doubt there would have been ANY problem. Rape leaves tears of the vagina that a casual exam at the hospital would verify. The sheriff could verify he was dead[they're usually the coroner in small towns]. Case closed.
I think they could very well get married again and live out their lives very happily. The trust could be built, like two people who didn't know each other. Tell each other their life histories and go from there.
Noone said it would be easy, though.
Works for me. I always like the baseball routine for that type but, whatever works.
Good story!

sort of agree with the "dull plot" guy

even if not all the way.

I mean, for two such supposedly thoughtful and educated people, I would have thought that the first thing after hearing something like from Tricia, the husband would say something like,

"Tricia, WHY do you subject yourself to BEING RAPED and still being giddy DURING the rape and AFTER it and continued to subject yourself to it and NEVER even reported it,,, the rape that got your all bloody? Do you see it is NOT WHAT WE CALL A NORMAL BEHAVIOR for you to subject yourself to subh VICIOUS acts from men, whether they are balck or white?

"Do you know that as human beings, we --- both you and I and all others --- that we have PERSONAL, PRIVATE bounderies that NO OTHER human beings may cross? That even me, as you husband, MAY NOT cross a certain boundery of yours,,, by forcing you to do any thing?

"What you need to do is to get professional help; I will be there for you, now that I know your strange story about you yourselfing feeling like you MUST ALLOW yourself to be raped, if an aggressive black male is sniffing after you for NOTHING BUT SEX. It's too weird, and yet I know you for these 17 years as an honest to god good person; you are a loving mother and wife, all these years... I can not just walk away, however torn and hurt I am, and not giving you the support that BOTH OF US, especially you, know you need..."

DOESN'T THAT make more sense than the husband's blah, blah, about

"I love you, still love you, but you hurt me too much and I will probably never trust you again, at least not now,,, perhaps in 2, 3, or 5 years? But even then I doubt it,,,"?? ,,,, And then reporting to us, some years later, that they have now started dating and having sex again and it's great mature sex,,,, but that he doesn't think he could totally trust her????

Whta's that? Shouldn't that ISSUE about Tricia feeling like it WAS okay and it IS going to be OKAY, in the future, ULTIMATELY, that she be RAPED being EXPLORED with a mental health expert?

Why? Because Tricaia sasys that no matter how she would initially protest, SOON she would enjoy and it and WOULD COME TO ORGASM BIG TIME AND WOULD NEVER REPORT IT,,,, and it is OKAY for a rapist to come back, with whole chain of thought and event being re-run again, and again,,, without her EVER either wanting or WILLING to do any thing other than struggling initially and then ENJOYING it once it's gotten started...... even if she's bleeding, etc.

Shouldn't THAT bizaare belief and behavior of Tricia's being DEALT with, by a MENTAL EXPERT, IMMEDIATELY after she told him,,, as happened those years ago in college by that slow black man, and then Richie, the criminal/rapist, up by their cabin??

Tricia does NOT seem to be lacking some "self-protective" and over-riding hardwiring in the head. For her IT IS OKAY if she is sniffed out by a dominating rapist, no if's, what's about it. She KNOWS she would soon submit and have orgasms,,, so it is OKAY. EVEN if it is NOT OKAY, at the sart of the ASSULT, it is going to be okay in a few moments, once the raping is well on its way.....

That is too weird to be accepted, whether verbally articulated or not. Tricia is a good mother and wife, and she's even honest, when confronted.

But it is just too bizaare that she thinks a raping, HER OWN RAPE, even if it is NOT okay and even if she initially struggles against a big black man who's sniffed out her wants and needs to be submissive, that SOON once the raping happens, IT IS OKAY and she would NEVER report it as a crime!

But that the seemingly caring and educated husband does not SEEM to know that, and mostly OR ALL he's concerned about is just afraid to "trust" her in the future where infedility is concerned,,,, that's even MORE WEIRD still! It makes no sense..........

Revenge?

Not a very good revenge. He had a few seconds to regrette what he did, and then no more. A truely good revenge will be for the wrong doer to live and know the pain (mentally) and why he have it.
The sad thing is the murderer will have to live the rest of his life knowing he did commit murder. If he doesn't feel remorse he is a mentally inadequate person, Poor sod.

Excellent

Quite a bit of raw emotion between husband and wife. Very well done. I'm not a big fan of revenge stories but this one was written with nice pace and pretty well thought out so it gets a high vote.****If Tricia and Rob were a real life couple my advice to Rob would be to get Tricia into counseling or treatment to work out why she behaved as she did and to do so before he remarries her. Otherwise he will have to be a constant watchdog which is no way to live.

a lot of men love revenge or justice stories

most men hate it when someone betray them or bother their family.adultery is a real revenge or justice like story.

Settling the score: but not evenly

Both in “The Best Man” and in this story I found an unsettling gender bias tilted against women not blatantly -but it’s there. (Dear author, Allow me an aside. Hallo feminists writers and readers. Are you sometimes noting issues of relevance in on going good literature or are you just jumping in on pretend stories made for provocation and pamphlets only?). Ok. I am back. Don’t get me wrong, this neighbor was abhorrent to me, but why should the ‘Agent provocateur’ - the man who seduced the wife be executed and the wife should get all the respect and understanding due to her teenaged experience. Was she robbed off her judgment; sense of reality; impulse control once she gets raped? I could understand (with a lot of difficulty) the onslaught of primary instincts -whatever, WHILE she was having sex. Now what was her redeeming condition after she cooled of and decided not to tell about that experience? No responsibility for a loving husband? no second consideration for the implication on their son? What about expecting the second day tryst? No culpability there either? Even after the end of it and still no disclosure? Sounds to me like a mild to moderate level of sexism by the implied author (I would not extrapolate from one or two stories to the author). Are we putting women again on somewhat lower level of responsibility than men? Why?
If on the other hand a full Psychological consideration should be given to every scoundrel (count me out) why not send to the neighbor a surprise packet notifying him of a surprise winning of a free full battery of psychological tests! No tricks and at no cost, to be administered at your local mental health center. Let the husband assess the neighbor’s childhood and adolescence developmental frustrations! Maybe his are worse than the wife’s! This half way justice can not work because the culpability, at least on the second day is evenly distributed. Plus, I have to add, this ‘small’ inconvenient truth - only the wife, NOT the neighbor, had the emotional, moral, not to mention the contractual obligation not to cheat on her husband. The neighbor? He was an equal opportunity fornicator; Not a nice guy for sure, but frankly, in my book if any one (but not one of them really) deserved to be thrown from a high mountain it was the wife for her brazen lying and disrespect of her loyal husband. She kept at it all the way to herself up until the husband TELLS her in so many words: ‘HALLO I SAW EVERY THING’. EVEN THEN, she still, pathetically, tries to lie her way out with a partial truth (=a lie).
So the story starts with a series of the wife’s lies, continues with the husband lying to himself (about the wife’s culpability vs. the neighbor’s) and ends with the husband denial (another form of removing oneself from the truth) as the issue of the wife’s lying and lack of any effort to treat her “sexual weakness towards big aggressive African American men” (has she somehow gone through spontaneous healing?) are all swiftly pushed under the rug.
Again it’s ok to show weak unaware sexist characters; god knows we are all perfect - right? The problem is that none of these problems is highlighted nor acknowledged by the implied author; that omission I could not celebrate.
With all the above problems the WONDERFUL narrative style came to save the day. It allowed me to enjoy the story much more than I would have been able to otherwise. Take for example the unforgettable scene between the husband and nervous neighbor – read the story, if just for this one dialog: “BAM!”

It's always nice to get revenge on someone that

ruins your life. The only thing is ...revenge isn't worth a damn unless the person knows why he is dying. It would have been so much better if old Archie had not been killed right off by the accident but instead was thrown from the car, broken and bleeding to death. Rob could have come along then and played the hero in everyone else's eyes..."Hey...I really tried to save him,,,sob sob...but it was hopeless." Of course Archie would have looked u to see Rob scrambling down the embankment and thought..."oh Lordie me...I'm saved." Then Rob could have looked him in the eyes and said..."You know you're dying you black nigger. You are dying because you raped my wife and fucked my life and my kid's life up. You are dying so that you can never rape a white woman with that rancid black cock. You are dying because I hate you you black bastard...and you know what? everyone will think I tried to save and think of me as a hero..." Then I would look at him with cold steel in my eye's and describe to him just what was happening to him as life sipped away. I would have told him that I could have used my cell phone to summon help but I forgot it that morning...Then as his eyes dimmed I would tell him that Satan had a special hot lace for rapist where he would get pounded by white men with cocks the size of horses and that they would fuck his worthless black ass for an eternity...That's what I would have done...Hey it's just a story so you could have made it happen any way you wanted to. But you copped out and acted like a civilized wimpy man...May God have mercy on your soul.

Score not settled

Any man who takes his wife back after an incident like that deserves every bit of pain he gets when she kicks him in the teeth again, and you know she will. Once a cheater alweays a cheater.

ok story

and i agree about killing a rabid animal and a nigger tha tdoes what he did sure deserves death but still what he got was probably to fast unless when he was thrown out he had to lay theer awake for a cpl of hours slowly feeling his life fade away and screaming in agony and remembering what he had done to cause such misery...but he had the chance to learn his lesson from when he was in college...to bad he was so ignorant like many niggers and didnt learn a thing...oh well we can now say lesson learned...still he cant take the bitch back and has he cleaned that pussy yet ...only way is with a branding iron or acid to get rid of the nigger stench...

An all time great story - thank you author!

Perfect revenge on the nigger and the slut wife got away with it [again] but the plot held true to the revenge/consequence theme. Well done!

A really good story

One of the few stories where the husband isn't a wimp. The writing is exceptional and the story line was very good. All of the characters were true to life and the ending was good. Thanks for the really good story....Rich

A Good Tale :-)

Jack Straw is always a plus for me for his tales. I was sorry he didn't send Trica to a shrink or marriage counsler. JS lead us in that direction when he revealed some of Archie's backgound. Pleas keep writing so I can keep reading :-)

Really good Consequences Story

Jack Straw is a master. Smoothly structured.

One problem: what about all the toxic problems?

On my second read of this beautifully narrated story, I was left with the feeling that the author have expanded and elaborated on the original by JPB -but after a lot of shifts and turns he ends up as if he made a huge loop, not too far from where JPB had ended his story...
How could this happen? Well, as far as the one sided revenge on the non married partner to the cheating; I have already expressed my opinion in my first comment. To me, the main offender is the wife, the one who had violated -at least as of the second day, her life long commitment to her husband, and with it his ability to trust her. True, trust could be rebuilt - over many years, with tight accountability (for one's whereabouts - time and place, at any moment, and with intense therapy); none was mentioned here.
Add to this the particular pathology, specifically mentioned by the author -regarding the wife's vulnerability to aggressive black men. Now, how and when had all of that 'toxic material' disappeared? Could it be that the author forgot what he had written about the prospects of remarrying earlier in the story? I mean, just ignoring those parts in the story does not mean that the readers have forgotten all about it...

Disagree:

Your statement about civilized society is just an excuse for people not to take a stand and protect, avenge, and/or take the steps necessary to correct a situation.
I liked the way your character settled his problem. It is the way a real man, not a pussyfied wimpish 'civilized' man would cry and simper about a wrong done to them.
Please pass this along to other authors of these stories and we will have much better stories on this site.

I agree!

I agree with the vet, people who take things or wives from others commit a personal violation that calls for imediate action. If not the law will protect them instead of allowing proper punishment, and women have definatly got the law on their side no matter what they do.

Weak Ending

You kind of got side-tracked in the end as your story lost its intensity. Maybe a segue into Archie's mind would have been in order in order for the reader to obtain more vicarious thrills at the moment that justice was being accomplished.

Also, I think your overly-simplistic dismissal of Tricia from the main character's life was at the very least premature, and logically, with victim counseling, things COULD have been worked out.

In the end, although our character says he was satisfied with his revenge, in actuality he was living a hollow shell of a life at best. Victory would have best been achieved had Tricia gotten fixed by a shrink, and then our hero could have completely vanquished his usurper by accepting her back. When he "didn't get the girl", as they say, he lost the duel which Archie had challenged him to when, by raping his wife, he had thrown down the gauntlet. By not realizing the prize, our hero still lost the joust.

Very Good Ending!

To a J.P.B. try at a stroke story, which really bothered me till you wrote this. A lot of writers do rape and non consent and cheating stories with no reguard to what would really happen, when you have husbands, familys, lives, ect. there is a price to pay. Fantasy is great, but always, when you play you pay, one way or another. Great writing, thanks.