Daddy Walked In

Grammer is a GOOD thing

The story had some promise, in the beginning, but then it went to hell. It progressed much to fast and the mispellings or completely wrong words used in various phrases were very distracting. Most computers have in the tools menu a place to check your spelling and grammer, USE IT.

Find an editor

^^^

Sucks big time

Plain and simple, this story wasn't worth reading.

Even a German

can tell that it's crap...

Even my english is better...

Signs of Promise

I like the basic storyline. Like others, the grammer problems are so pronounced that I wilted.

Oh dear ...

Perhaps this should be in the "Humor & Satire" section - it made me laugh, though I doubt that is what the author intended....

I liked the story

I liked it. Your concept is good but some grammer issues are within your story. I did really lke it.

Sometimes I wonder

why some stories, with such blatant errors get approved while others, (mine for example) are refused approval for having comma or quote errors...go figure...I give this story a 50% for getting the story past the approvers...

Short and Stilted

Although not a bad start, your story is too short, not detailed enough, and rough in language. Try to spend more time and planning if you want to get and keeper a readers interest.

good subject just needs more

more details would be great, build the story up a bit more before you get into it. yes errors but i can get passed those for a good story.

not bad but.....

Please invest in a grammar and spell checking program. If you are using microsoft office or something like that they usually have those functions built in.

What a Nice Dad

Seems that a few commentators jumped on your grammer and spelling.
Here are a few comments on Paragraphs one and two;
a) "in her dad closet" try "in her dad's closet"
b) "her parents where out" try "Her parents were out."
c) "with her parents their" try "with her parents there"
d) para.2 Do I see a huge run on sentence? When a sentence runs 5 or more lines you might want to check it out. Most often you will find two or more thoughts. Break it up.
e) "Don't I like the way you look." did you mean this to be a question?

Yes I liked the tale. As you read other tales you may see that the author gives credit to a volunteer editor. You might try to find one.

that was good...

it was good, just keep it up and dont let any body stop u....

Room For Improvement

It's rather hypocritical to criticize authors for their lack of writing skills using 'grammer, speling, realite, definately' -- all of which are misspelled !! The grammar and spelling of many of the comments are often as bad or worse than the writers being admonished. There is room for improvement on both sides. Errors in spelling, punctuation & style can ruin otherwise good stories. On the other hand, since so many submissions & commentaries contain these kind of mistakes, I guess most readers don't mind too much.

make me pregnant harder

"yeah fuck me make me pregnant harder, harder oh yeah"

made the whole story worth reading.

umm very hot story

i want my dad to fuck me just like in your story. i would never tell bitch mum and we could do it when ever he want or i want...omg just thinkin bout his cock inside me makes me wanna masturbate myself. im stacy btw at stacy18_bi@hotmail.com if you wanna chat

Spoilt

Pity your spelling is soooo baaaaaaad

Literotica?! More like Illiterotica!

awesome.

Just came to this story! Now I'm so damn wet! Thank you :) oh and for the above negative people, this isn't a bloody story competition. Its supposed to be a bit of fun. Its more about imagination and creativity. Fools.