by oregon_gal
Took a bit of work
Read it three times to make it work;
First one side then the other
Finally all together - then it meshes;
Nicely done complexity.
I enjoyed your unique poem
literary Art
a spiraling descent
of poetic lines
going down
Spiraling
..........Down
(~_~)
yes, it took me three times reading this as well before I really got it, and appreciated the value of this poem...
Especially important was reading the left text uninterrupted. While poetry is worthwhile, unfortunately, not many people give it a chance to get to three reads. I am not sure if this is something that you as a writer should concern yourself with or not? And I am not sure what I would suggest you do. Perhaps go a little longer with just the left text, to get the feel of what is happening, to get a feel for the conversation going, give a minute before the spiral starts to take place and desire spins itself in.
I know that the intent is to give the feel of distraction, you did a great job with that :)
Enjoyed!
yes, it took me three times reading this as well before I really got it, and appreciated the value of this poem...
Especially important was reading the left text uninterrupted. While poetry is worthwhile, unfortunately, not many people give it a chance to get to three reads. I am not sure if this is something that you as a writer should concern yourself with or not? And I am not sure what I would suggest you do. Perhaps go a little longer with just the left text, to get the feel of what is happening, to get a feel for the conversation going, give a minute before the spiral starts to take place and desire spins itself in.
I know that the intent is to give the feel of distraction, you did a great job with that :)
Enjoyed!