All Comments on 'Andrea goes to college Chapter 1'

A good writer is, first and foremost, a good reader. You ask too much of your audience, IMHO, by expecting them to read and enjoy this. Try reading some REALLY GOOD erotica in this genre first, stuff that's gotten Editor Awards, and study them well. I can tell, from this single chapter, that you haven't read enough of incest erotica to know how to really sell it to your audience.

Typos, poor sentence structure and flat dialogue did nothing to help this story. Furthermore, the plot, while somewhat interesting in a mild and benign sort of way, was seriously hampered by a desperate need for suspension of disbelief. I mean, c'mon man, a young woman casually admits to a total stranger that she sucks off her father and he just says, "Okay. Cool." like he's heard it a dozen times already? That's not even remotely realistic!

There are a half-dozen ways to completely rewrite this story so that it is 1) believable, 2) engaging 3) erotic and 4) worthwhile.

To be honest I couldn't get into your story when after just a few paragraphs down you referred to Andreas mother as 'black as the ace of spades'. I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and was disappointed to see Andrea then being referred to as 'colored'.

Apart from all that I felt that for such a long first chapter your story seemed to lack any character development and erotism.

Critics, stay thy pens! This is a good start. Keep goiing, Amy.

especially after seeing the critical tirade of Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous.

I've read lots of stories by 'Amyfriend' and have enjoyed most of them. The ones that I haven't totally enjoyed never deserved such harsh criticism and picky pokey comments like those seen. You don't judge a story by "one comment" such as the description "black as the ace of spades". If Mr. Anonymous is that picky, its time he turned off the TV and stopped reading. Characters in stories are not obligated to follow rules, like using the Queens English.

Sure, I saw minor flaws but I read the whole story and thought it was an okay start, being Chapter 1.

Wow! that was a wondeful story and very erotic! keep up the great writing!

Not one of your best Amy, and I've read most of them, but it's a lot better then some posted here. Just a thought if someone is going to criticize your writting should he or she put their name on it? Or as Momma use to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all."

Keep up the good work Amy.

Great start! Can't wait to read additional chapters! Til then I will be UP and waiting!

You have successfully hit all my exciter stuff. Makes me want to rent out my whole house. Thanks for your rendering of a most interesting situation.

Or have you given up on writing his particular type of erotic story?

...but very enjoyable nonetheless.

Word nerd that I am, I'm always startled to come across "labia lips" from some authors. The English word "lips" comes from the Latin "labia", which means, yes, "lips". A typical American redundancy, like so many in poor writing. Poor education system, I know. But please keep writing, I'll keep reading.

Just a slut daughter