I hadn't intended to sign up for an account here, but after writing this loooong comment to this story, I was told you don't like anonymous comments! So I sucked it up and registered because I very much wanted to tell you what I thought of this haunting story.
I wasn't familiar with the song so I had to look it up on Youtube. And I have to say that you most certainly did justice to a beautiful, painful song with a beautiful, painful story. This is the first story of yours that I've read and I can guarantee I will be reading more...and finding your books to buy, as well. Reading the comments was almost as interesting as reading the story itself. Almost...I confess I couldn't read them all. But I think it is the mark of a great writer that one short story can evoke such strong emotions...whether people loved it or hated it, they were involved in it. That takes talent!
I also confess that I didn't really get that the marriage was over at the end. Being a happy-ending junkie, I was hoping this was the first chapter of one of your books and that the 'rest of the story' would be about how they sought help and sought to reconnect and sought to save this relationship. Is this man's reaction 'realistic'? OK, I'm a woman, so I'm no expert...but I have seen similar situations play out in the lives of people I know, and yes...I do know men who have reacted similarly. I've seen marriages survive infidelity (whether it is the husband or the wife) and some that didn't. But being 'atypical', as you said in one of your comments, doesn't negate the fact that is is a believable reaction. Isn't the whole idea of writing to present couples that are unique and individual? I'm not interested in every story being a carbon copy of every other story. I look for the unique, individual, unusual. And you have delivered.
This is going long, already, but I wanted to comment on your writing style...just gorgeous and flowing. I wanted to quote a couple of favorite lines and realized I would have to quote the entire story! But here are just a couple:
'A man knows the sound of his wife's pleasure. He knows it like he knows the sounds of his house settling, the ticking of the furnace, the creak in the boards by the stove. After a time, it becomes a familiar sound, a comfortable sound, one that carries heat and light, like the lamp that goes on by the front door every night at six.'
And:
'She nodded, and I could feel the edges of her pain flowing into mine, somehow, as if they were one thing. Love didn't stop, like turning off a light switch, as much as I willed it to.'
Oh, how I hated this story! Perhaps you should quit listening to Sawyer Brown and try Toby Keith, Merle Haggard, or just about anybody who is in possession of a set of testicles. Sorry, but I could only manage two stars for this one.
. . . the emotions coming out of unknown pores of two souls is just astounding. I know this is an old story for you, maybe I should say older since you are very obviously a lady, but it was new for me this morning. In many ways I have been looking for this one a long time. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.
Aren't some of our readers incredibly shallow? For some, a good 'result' is far important than the story or quality of writing. Sad that in this age their are still so many people around like that.
Great story!
I like to read stories to be entertained and not necessarily to engage in mental gymnastics. Like the water in the goldfish bowl, the fish know it is there and they sure as hell know when it ain't. The story just seems unfinished.
This brief story really hit home. I am curious about the future for them but I also am warned about myself and and my own. A time to look inside and see that my partner is fulfilled.
This is not run-of-the-mill erotic literature, but is serious and interesting.
A number of LW authors have used this form for stories.
I'd rather see the story without the song lyrics. To me it's sappy and interferes with the story.
This story, by the way, was well told. It was depressing, but in the same was I was depressed when I finally decided to leave my first wife.
Probably shouldn't have read this one since it hit really close to the bone. Really well written and the ache in my soul is because it resonates in me. Especially the comment that it isn't the storms that destroy us but the day to day erosion.
Reading some of the comments was really disappointing.
To guys that can't imagine someone love his/her spouse even after seeing the spouse's betrayal: If you don't like a kind of story, well don't read from that kind. It's better for your mental health.
To guys that are looking for an ending for any story they read: Well, I think, maybe the author has had a reason for writing this story without an ending. Just think about it and try to find out what is the reason! And remember that writing stories that include definite endings is not the only style of writing.
It was nice to read a different story of yours Selena. :)
Good work.
I think some author like you Britease, Selena and a few others underestimate alot of your readers. A lot of commentors understand what you're trying to get across but simply don't agree with what you're saying. No one said the story wasn't well written. But as some one that deal with a lot of family issue for the military, you just don't see the husband sitting down rocking and holding the wife after she just cheated in their bed. I know some of the commentors and authors like to think they have a better insite of human nature, but untill your in that position, it's not the same. Prisons would have so many wife/husband killers if they acted like the guys in the stories, but we know the truth now don't we.
This is a very solid story; I think most couples have this moment ... certainly not right after being discovered in flagrante, but after they both realize that they both know what has been going on and there's no point hiding it any longer. And yet ... and yet ... they stay together like they have stayed together through anything else, because it's better to live it with them than without them.
I can understand the shock that they felt. Well written . You captured the moment. Now does someone want to end this. I say no. I do think that readers understand this tale and it is britese that may not understand the reason for some of the comments. It all about their moment too. The reader.
I understood it, but life isn't that simple. No emotion from the husband? Give me
a break,broken nose for sure, anger at least ,hurt, frustration,fear.. Having been
there, this isn't life. Not a mans reaction.
She acts like she loves him completely at the end - but she brings the guy to her home and their bed - the ultimate betrayal - and she equates it to his lack of motivation to do something different???
Maybe open her mouth instead of her body to let him know there are issues?? You make him sound like a guy who worked hard to manage his demons and become a better husband and father - then she does this?? no real rationale?? seems highly unlikely and incomplete.
Your writing carries great feeling and passion - I was hoping for more follow through here - she has a reason to do this to them - what is it - really - bored or cinfused does not cut it.
I first read this story two years ago, was taken with its beauty and power, and scored it to the maximum. I came across it this morning when I noticed someone with DFW (my old home town) in his name just commented positively so I read it again.
I am still taken with the skill the writing exhibits. The imagery is constantly vivid. The poor guy carried his baggage to work every day and left wife behind. Most negative comments seem to focus on how hubby has been wronged one time. How about wifey being wronged a lifetime?
All These Years exposes and exploits both of these characters so completely, so purely. I wish I could vote again.
Fucking wimp cuckie crap! Real garbage. This cheating fucking cunt needs some pain and so does the man fucking her in the marriage bed. That "will call you" shit would have resulted inion mediate pain to him. This was not a first time.
I enjoyed the style of your writing; I felt like I was in the room with both of them. However, the story itself left me hanging. Was she sorry for what she did; or for being caught? Is it the end for her and the well dressed man? So many questions left unanswered.
He goes to work each day, doing the same thing 100 times a day every day every year. He sees the same 5 to 20 people every day talks to the same 3 or 4 every day every year. He eats the same 5 to 10 lunches every week every year. The bosses tell him what to do when to do it how to do it every day. But she is the one that is board and jealous. She use this to justify cheating? But she was all confused, her hormones off kilter. We should have pity on her. Fuck him who cares about him anyway not her.
This story is quite old so I doubt the author will bother to notice, but I do have something others might notice. I don't think the husband's a wimp, but I do think the wife is weak. She lacked the strength to confront her husband with her needs and fears so she turned to someone else who was ready to give her the solace she wanted. Her 'lover' may have been a sincere man, but I doubt it. The husband was blind to his wife's personal agonies. He thought he was doing what he was supposed to do; work and bring home a paycheck. He neglected her. This marriage will probably fail. I'd expect it to die a slow agonizingly painful death. They love each other, but like the broken porcelain the author described the damage is done. What we were seeing in this story was ground zero. Both people knew they'd lost. It was a tragic calamity. They both knew it. They both probably knew love would never be enough to repair the irreversible damage.
Firstly my apologies for not having come across you and your writing before.
Secondly thank you for a well written and feeling story.
I am male but I can connect with both the characters, having celebrated 47 years of marriage, during which neither stayed "faithful" sexually, but then, we where children of the swinging sixties and lived as we wanted to live, without the hang ups of our parents or our children. At the end of the day love is the only thing that is important in a relationship not possessions or even sex.
but it doesn't explore enough to stand on its own. There's nothing wrong with leaving a story hanging so that readers can visualize their own endings, but this story doesn't provide enough character material to allow that.
What??? Not very real ..unless this guy is a milktoast wimp.
Didn't like the characters at all. The lover should been beaten half to death at a minimum. When you go to a married woman's home and have sex in her marital bed without the consent of her husband, you are playing a form of Russian roulette. Any man whether disabled or fit, they would be enraged at the knowledge of a sexual tryst with their beloved wife. This story characterized the husband as a complete idiot wimp jerk. Very unsavory characters to say the least.
I hate how damn real this is. I celebrate your talent. You made so many emotionally immature assholes on this site raise their hand and identify themselves. You wrote the the hell out this shit. 5*
by
Anonymous08/03/14
well
Not long enough to even guess on our own the ending.
She destroyed her husband, her family, her marriage why?
She felt neglected because he was busy earning them a living?
5* for different set up, and emotional response. drinking that much booze a week, there is definatly a problem. is that what drove the wife? I see 2 problems maybe three, starting back when wife asked to get away with hubby and he refused, the reason should have been talked about.
thought provoking - a lot said in few words
I also, would like to see more of how your characters rationalize their solutions
much more real than most of the stories i read
as i am particularly interested in the motivations of behavior rather than straight cause - effect
looking at your stories/poems page i am hopeing to do a lot of enjoyable reading
English
Forced me to register...
I hadn't intended to sign up for an account here, but after writing this loooong comment to this story, I was told you don't like anonymous comments! So I sucked it up and registered because I very much wanted to tell you what I thought of this haunting story.
I wasn't familiar with the song so I had to look it up on Youtube. And I have to say that you most certainly did justice to a beautiful, painful song with a beautiful, painful story. This is the first story of yours that I've read and I can guarantee I will be reading more...and finding your books to buy, as well. Reading the comments was almost as interesting as reading the story itself. Almost...I confess I couldn't read them all. But I think it is the mark of a great writer that one short story can evoke such strong emotions...whether people loved it or hated it, they were involved in it. That takes talent!
I also confess that I didn't really get that the marriage was over at the end. Being a happy-ending junkie, I was hoping this was the first chapter of one of your books and that the 'rest of the story' would be about how they sought help and sought to reconnect and sought to save this relationship. Is this man's reaction 'realistic'? OK, I'm a woman, so I'm no expert...but I have seen similar situations play out in the lives of people I know, and yes...I do know men who have reacted similarly. I've seen marriages survive infidelity (whether it is the husband or the wife) and some that didn't. But being 'atypical', as you said in one of your comments, doesn't negate the fact that is is a believable reaction. Isn't the whole idea of writing to present couples that are unique and individual? I'm not interested in every story being a carbon copy of every other story. I look for the unique, individual, unusual. And you have delivered.
This is going long, already, but I wanted to comment on your writing style...just gorgeous and flowing. I wanted to quote a couple of favorite lines and realized I would have to quote the entire story! But here are just a couple:
'A man knows the sound of his wife's pleasure. He knows it like he knows the sounds of his house settling, the ticking of the furnace, the creak in the boards by the stove. After a time, it becomes a familiar sound, a comfortable sound, one that carries heat and light, like the lamp that goes on by the front door every night at six.'
And:
'She nodded, and I could feel the edges of her pain flowing into mine, somehow, as if they were one thing. Love didn't stop, like turning off a light switch, as much as I willed it to.'
Just....beautiful.....
Sorry, don't like LW stories that follow songs. Too contrived.
Frustrated with this because it was just the start of the story.
different
different spin on the same old, same old.
i'll rate it a 5 as you asked but to me it was more a 3 or may be a 2.5.
always leave me wondering why do Americans do that to them selves??
never seen the point. oh well.
I liked it
But I like "B" movies too
I have no idea what that means?
Wow did you ever miss the mark on this one
Sorry to say but crap story Only the writing pose made it at all readable BUT try again the writing is there just the plot line was trash
Selena, I've always loved you, but....
Oh, how I hated this story! Perhaps you should quit listening to Sawyer Brown and try Toby Keith, Merle Haggard, or just about anybody who is in possession of a set of testicles. Sorry, but I could only manage two stars for this one.
Incredible . . .
. . . the emotions coming out of unknown pores of two souls is just astounding. I know this is an old story for you, maybe I should say older since you are very obviously a lady, but it was new for me this morning. In many ways I have been looking for this one a long time. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.
Well kitti, I will not give you 5 that you like so much.
But I will give you 1 five times. Would that be OK?
Hi Selena
Aren't some of our readers incredibly shallow? For some, a good 'result' is far important than the story or quality of writing. Sad that in this age their are still so many people around like that.
Great story!
I agree with Britease, but.....
I like to read stories to be entertained and not necessarily to engage in mental gymnastics. Like the water in the goldfish bowl, the fish know it is there and they sure as hell know when it ain't. The story just seems unfinished.
Wow
great story. I heard that song before many many times.
Well written
But.... How about finishing ... What happens to our couple??
WELL WELL WELL !!!!!!
He will be getting a lot of juicy cream pies,,,, and sloppy seconds or maybe thirds. A fairly poor ending,, I'm sorry to say.
I like it!
This brief story really hit home. I am curious about the future for them but I also am warned about myself and and my own. A time to look inside and see that my partner is fulfilled.
This is not run-of-the-mill erotic literature, but is serious and interesting.
A number of LW authors have used this form for stories.
I'd rather see the story without the song lyrics. To me it's sappy and interferes with the story.
This story, by the way, was well told. It was depressing, but in the same was I was depressed when I finally decided to leave my first wife.
Yet another WACC writer
A wimpy cuckold husband and a slut wife with no remorse. WACC says it all
Hit a little too close to home
Probably shouldn't have read this one since it hit really close to the bone. Really well written and the ache in my soul is because it resonates in me. Especially the comment that it isn't the storms that destroy us but the day to day erosion.
RIIIIGGGGHHHHHTTT
Okay, he comes home to his wife having sex in his bed and he decides to hold his wife and give her comfort? Sorry, not in my playbook.
Holy Cuckold - what a wimp!
Yikes - glad this author quit writing this garbage.
A Nice Story
Reading some of the comments was really disappointing.
To guys that can't imagine someone love his/her spouse even after seeing the spouse's betrayal: If you don't like a kind of story, well don't read from that kind. It's better for your mental health.
To guys that are looking for an ending for any story they read: Well, I think, maybe the author has had a reason for writing this story without an ending. Just think about it and try to find out what is the reason! And remember that writing stories that include definite endings is not the only style of writing.
It was nice to read a different story of yours Selena. :)
Good work.
I agree with the last comment
Beautifully written, beyond the comprehension of some commentators. Oh well, each to our own level. Well done Selene, great story.
I dont think it's beyond anyones comprehension
I think some author like you Britease, Selena and a few others underestimate alot of your readers. A lot of commentors understand what you're trying to get across but simply don't agree with what you're saying. No one said the story wasn't well written. But as some one that deal with a lot of family issue for the military, you just don't see the husband sitting down rocking and holding the wife after she just cheated in their bed. I know some of the commentors and authors like to think they have a better insite of human nature, but untill your in that position, it's not the same. Prisons would have so many wife/husband killers if they acted like the guys in the stories, but we know the truth now don't we.
WHAT THE FUCK
Wh?
I still want to know why.
Why not talk about it first.
Why cheat?
What the fuck
A woman dream the beyond everything forgiving good provider husbands. This dream does not happen in the true World allways...........
Sharp, yet mellow
This is a very solid story; I think most couples have this moment ... certainly not right after being discovered in flagrante, but after they both realize that they both know what has been going on and there's no point hiding it any longer. And yet ... and yet ... they stay together like they have stayed together through anything else, because it's better to live it with them than without them.
Simple little story
I can understand the shock that they felt. Well written . You captured the moment. Now does someone want to end this. I say no. I do think that readers understand this tale and it is britese that may not understand the reason for some of the comments. It all about their moment too. The reader.
Sad but part of Life
Not very uplifting, but a real life vignette. Fits the song. Well written. Gave it a '4'.Dan
No resolution
True to the song. Good job.
confused
I understood it, but life isn't that simple. No emotion from the husband? Give me
a break,broken nose for sure, anger at least ,hurt, frustration,fear.. Having been
there, this isn't life. Not a mans reaction.
Well written - clear too
But some how very incomplete -
She acts like she loves him completely at the end - but she brings the guy to her home and their bed - the ultimate betrayal - and she equates it to his lack of motivation to do something different???
Maybe open her mouth instead of her body to let him know there are issues?? You make him sound like a guy who worked hard to manage his demons and become a better husband and father - then she does this?? no real rationale?? seems highly unlikely and incomplete.
Your writing carries great feeling and passion - I was hoping for more follow through here - she has a reason to do this to them - what is it - really - bored or cinfused does not cut it.
Thank You
Extremely well written narration of one of most painful infidelity songs ever written. Thank you!
Still superb
I first read this story two years ago, was taken with its beauty and power, and scored it to the maximum. I came across it this morning when I noticed someone with DFW (my old home town) in his name just commented positively so I read it again.
I am still taken with the skill the writing exhibits. The imagery is constantly vivid. The poor guy carried his baggage to work every day and left wife behind. Most negative comments seem to focus on how hubby has been wronged one time. How about wifey being wronged a lifetime?
All These Years exposes and exploits both of these characters so completely, so purely. I wish I could vote again.
Fucking wimp cuckie crap! Real garbage. This cheating fucking cunt needs some pain and so does the man fucking her in the marriage bed. That "will call you" shit would have resulted inion mediate pain to him. This was not a first time.
I liked it but....
I enjoyed the style of your writing; I felt like I was in the room with both of them. However, the story itself left me hanging. Was she sorry for what she did; or for being caught? Is it the end for her and the well dressed man? So many questions left unanswered.
so lets see
He goes to work each day, doing the same thing 100 times a day every day every year. He sees the same 5 to 20 people every day talks to the same 3 or 4 every day every year. He eats the same 5 to 10 lunches every week every year. The bosses tell him what to do when to do it how to do it every day. But she is the one that is board and jealous. She use this to justify cheating? But she was all confused, her hormones off kilter. We should have pity on her. Fuck him who cares about him anyway not her.
OK, here's what I think.
This story is quite old so I doubt the author will bother to notice, but I do have something others might notice. I don't think the husband's a wimp, but I do think the wife is weak. She lacked the strength to confront her husband with her needs and fears so she turned to someone else who was ready to give her the solace she wanted. Her 'lover' may have been a sincere man, but I doubt it. The husband was blind to his wife's personal agonies. He thought he was doing what he was supposed to do; work and bring home a paycheck. He neglected her. This marriage will probably fail. I'd expect it to die a slow agonizingly painful death. They love each other, but like the broken porcelain the author described the damage is done. What we were seeing in this story was ground zero. Both people knew they'd lost. It was a tragic calamity. They both knew it. They both probably knew love would never be enough to repair the irreversible damage.
Not a story of my liking...
...actually I don´t understand his reaction. I would have reacted quite differently, I am sure.
You can tell a cheating cunt wrote this garbage.
Idiots don't understand this...
...of course they are all male so not a surprise. Great theme.ppp
Apologies
Firstly my apologies for not having come across you and your writing before.
Secondly thank you for a well written and feeling story.
I am male but I can connect with both the characters, having celebrated 47 years of marriage, during which neither stayed "faithful" sexually, but then, we where children of the swinging sixties and lived as we wanted to live, without the hang ups of our parents or our children. At the end of the day love is the only thing that is important in a relationship not possessions or even sex.
Nice story
but it doesn't explore enough to stand on its own. There's nothing wrong with leaving a story hanging so that readers can visualize their own endings, but this story doesn't provide enough character material to allow that.
What??? Not very real ..unless this guy is a milktoast wimp.
Didn't like the characters at all. The lover should been beaten half to death at a minimum. When you go to a married woman's home and have sex in her marital bed without the consent of her husband, you are playing a form of Russian roulette. Any man whether disabled or fit, they would be enraged at the knowledge of a sexual tryst with their beloved wife. This story characterized the husband as a complete idiot wimp jerk. Very unsavory characters to say the least.
Damn
I hate how damn real this is. I celebrate your talent. You made so many emotionally immature assholes on this site raise their hand and identify themselves. You wrote the the hell out this shit. 5*
well
Not long enough to even guess on our own the ending.
She destroyed her husband, her family, her marriage why?
She felt neglected because he was busy earning them a living?
needed more to end it.
good but far from complete
5* for different set up, and emotional response. drinking that much booze a week, there is definatly a problem. is that what drove the wife? I see 2 problems maybe three, starting back when wife asked to get away with hubby and he refused, the reason should have been talked about.
Yet another one that can't finish a story.
thank you
thought provoking - a lot said in few words
I also, would like to see more of how your characters rationalize their solutions
much more real than most of the stories i read
as i am particularly interested in the motivations of behavior rather than straight cause - effect
looking at your stories/poems page i am hopeing to do a lot of enjoyable reading
Loved it
authentic, emotionally charged, well written ... Impressive. Five stars.
SOME QUESTIONS DESERVE TO REMAIN UNANSWERED
like actions to remain un-seen, TK U MLJ LV NV
ouch
another modern woman, destroying a family on a whim.
Simply because she could. How she must have hated her husband and family.
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