All Comments on 'How to Apologize'

Need I say more?

The first, and most important part of an apology is to really be sorry for having committed the offense in the first place.

You can be as emotional, as sincere-sounding, as remorseful looking, but if you are not TRULY sorry, it will almost certainly be apparent So mean it before you say it.

Disclaimer: This is just my personal perspective. When I started reading this, I thought it was going to be a different angle on the amends process we focus on in recovery. Paragraphs 1 through 3 are just great; however, paragraphs 4 through 6 completely lose that focus by putting the emphasis on the other person's response, which, IMHO, we really have no control over. In my opinion (and through experience), the emphasis is not on the apology (or amends) being accepted (if it is, then great, but it is not a necessity), but coming to peace within ourselves; i.e., the amends are to ourselves, and we don't even think of approaching the other person until we are completely okay within ourselves. Otherwise, we run the risk of just repeating the behavior in another form.

Whatever.... Hear is the meat and potatos of it all:

(1) sorry is the easiest word, Bernie Topon has not a clue

I say that I'm "sorry" to people at least 25 times a day, I'm not proud of it, in fact it makes me ill.

(2) But to "ASK FOR FORGIVENESS" from a person you have wronged is a whole other ballpark, hell it's not even the same sport (proverbial)

It is humbling, it lets the person know that you were wrong and they were the injured party. basically you are giving them full control, giving them the final say.. And I would strongly suggest when asking for forgiveness you end with this...

"Please I do not want your answer now, no but in five days we can have that discussion"

This is the way to get an honest reply. How many of us when faced with heart-ache give a fast "yes" or a faster "NO"? lol... No if you are seeking forgiveness it is serious and you want that persons honest reaction