by yurdaddy53
I think with some work this could be good but I couldn't get over the math problem. I'm 32 and 9 years older than my sister. How old am I? 23? Nope you list the sister as 21. I don't know why that bugged me but it did. A few spelling things too but I think it will develop nicely.
I agree that it needs some editing. It also moves very quickly, but it is fantasy, so why not? I will continue reading this series.
the maths does not add up and did bug me a bit, but overall i thought this as agood start to an ongoing story.
32 - 9 is 21 now? Were this real, you would have Kniwn your own sisters age