All Comments on 'Erotic Love'

by AnnaF01

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  • 2 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
~~

Welcome to the poetry side of Lit

With your first submission.

Two quick observations ~

You need to ruthlessly edit and pare this down; way too long for what you're describing.

Related is the second point; as I was reading I felt it's loaded with too many run-on sentences. Puctuation would help.

Think of it this way - the fewer words you use, the greater the impact of those words that you do use.

2275jr2275jrover 15 years ago
so very erotic and sexy

The maiden that wants to give and take it all fantastic

lovely so full of the whole body.great writing

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