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Wow. You used "heart" several times in one poem and it still read fairly well--at least for me. :) Really interesting idea you had for this one. Not sure about "that heart" twice. Maybe drop the second heart or use "the heart." Nothing major to pick at in this poem--just some suggestions for you to play with.
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Read it a few times and I'm leaning along with Eve's idea about the second instance of "that heart." Maybe even "a heart," although that's stretching it a bit.
merry christmas
I like to fish... but couldn't catch the meaning of your cast. (~_~) but I did flash back to when I was a boy and caught mullet to sell to the bait shops ... 10 mullet for 50 cents
Reads
like a stick of dynamite attached to a hook, once reeled in , it goes with a bang
sad, such moving words
love ya
Such a dark
and unforgiving poem
THE TRICK THEN
is to change the bait or choose another species, TK U MLJ LV NV
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