All Comments on 'Jackie Pt. 04'

I realize this story is in the category "transsexuals and crossdressers" so the plot was typical and was anticipated. But there are a few problems and inconsistencies (I guess all plots have some holes, no pun intended with respect to this story). Firstly, Angie indicated to Jack she would never do anything to hurt him which implies doing nothing to him without his consent. Talking him into something was one thing, ramming an unlubricated dildo into his rectum was very painful for him, French Maid's outfit not-with-standing. Secondly, cheating on him without his knowledge or consent (the basis for our code of laws and ethics is the Ten Commandments, one of which states 'thou shald not commit adultery') consititutes at the very least mental cruelty and abuse. Thirdly, drugging Jack without his knowledge or consent violates so many laws I can't list them all (just a few would include fraud and misrepresentation, obtaining medication from a doctor for one individual and then giving it to a different person, poisoning a spouse . . . ). You may not know this in "fantasy land" but to suppress male hormones with female hormones requires huge doses, and these high doses can be toxic (these are a type of steroid). Sex steroids in large doses risk blood clots to the lungs, heart attacks, those sorts of things. Also, Jack could not be assumed to have consented to any of what happened because the female hormones suppressed his testosterone making it much harder for him to resist what was imposed on him. Bisexuality or transexuality must be consensual, not forced. The calumnies and deceptions are really a turn-off. Finally, I really don't see what Angie gets by having Jack (Jackie) as her companion. She could have had a bisexual female live with her and provide everything she seems to want from "Jackie" without all the bother or risk-taking.

But this ending sucked shit. All of the technical problems mentioned by the previous commenter aside; the behaviour of these characters is so far outside the norm that the suspension of disbelief is shattered. There is no way I can even begin to believe that any of this could be remotely possible. I won't discount it entirely, but the characters are just too unbelievable - especially the way they react to the situations they are in.

It fails as a story in that respect, and it fails to be erotic. This was a truly fucking crap ending to what had been a good story. Now I know to avoid this mentally ill author.

This is just a longer version of the same story I've seen written on Fictionmania, Storysite, etc. Guy gets talked into cross-dressing, becomes submissive, and his girlfriend-wife drags a guy home who ends up screwing him in the ass. It's so utterly predictable. You're a really good writer so why not try something more creative than the same old same old?

Saturday Night Live needs you yesterday. This was so sadly sick that you must have meant all those sick things to try to make us feel sorry for you.

Well we don't but don't let this or any other embarrassment stop you. You have found your sub place with tities - that is just a riot sick one.

However, it is a good thing that you strive for comedy because without some purpose, why would you need to be?

Keep up the presents but laughingly so.

Say we aren't going to lose you on some sexual offender guise are we? Happy breast growing! Wow this is great stuff - or is it?

Actually, I like your style and the fantasy of it all.

i said it above if you could have just continued a relationship as a submissive in a heterosexual(sort of) monogamous environment(1st 3 episodes excellent) it would have been interesting to follow it.

First of all, your spelling and grammar in this series shows that you rushed through this without much thought. Although it has been a while since I have read your other works, I do not remember any where you have been so cruel to the TV/CD. What you did to Jack was inhumane and I am in complete agreement with the first poster's comments.

Not just a comment to you, Scribler, but most of the authors here; What is with all the little dick stories? I know cocks come in all sizes, but pussies do too. Maybe the problem wasn't Jack's little dick as much as it was Angie's huge cunt. How about some stories about some chicks getting dumped because they have a cavern between their legs?

I was hoping the ending would go something like this:

Jack gets it in the butt from Dan. Afterward, Jack cleans up, goes into his closet, gets his gun and puts a slug in Dan's heads (big and little). He then slaps Angie around and starts screwing her in the ass and yelling at her because he realized that she was setting him up to be a sissy wimp cuckhold and that although he loved her, he wasn't going to take that shit from anyone. Angie's problem wasn't penis size but that she needed to be dominated a little from time to time and now Jack could fufill all her desires.

A much nicer ending I think.

This is a poorly written story, many spelling mistakes! It seems nobody read the story, but hey, probably it was too long to read so they got bored or something. Actually I waited with a comment even so it was so lame and obvious right from the start where the storyline was headed, you know high flying lawyer, beautiful assertive woman on one side, small, ponytailed male clerk on the other side. Still I read it till the end because I thought maybe there was a twist to it with a surprising end. When I finally arrived at the last page the only twist I hope for was that Jack would ask for a divorce, sue her because of her illegally putting hormones into his system and practically declare the marriage as never existed as she admitted the ink wasn´t even dry when her pussy was wet from sperm. This never happened either and maybe you have read too many Vicky Tern stories, only hers are much better.

I enjoyed the story, though it would have benefited from better proofreading. It developed nicely and then had an interesting twist at the end....what more could you ask, lol. Thanks for writing it!

one that so many other stories are written alike. She did feminize him and now, BRING ON JACKIE. Still he could have hired someone to eliminate both Dan and Angie when he was given his three choices. I though he was more of a man than to drink the coffee and lose his identity.

CASE CLOSED ! ! !

I liked the story, nice twist at the end.

It may have needed some editing and/or proof reading,

but all an all,I liked it.

The importin thing is, Keep Righting!

There are some us who weight for your stories.

While it IS well written (contrary to what some people commented), I have a hard time beliving that this story was written by the same person who wrote "Oasis In The Desert". In this case, the message seems to be that it pays to treat people like dirt and claim that such selfish behaviour is love?

If it smells like sh* looks like sh* and the characters in it acts like sh*. Guess what I'm gonna call it :)

This story was very well written although very bizarre, I don't really get the guy going from straight to transsexual in the short time span with no prior warnings. It seems to be a very extreme variation of cuckolding.

sick! No more needs to be said.

It is a goddamned piece of shit!!!!!!

i like reading your stories and i hope your still writing.

i would love to read a part 5 or a new story. hopfully everyone of your fans can read something new this year.

I so loved the first three parts of this story, as I had loved Oasis In The Desert. I really did. But part 4 completely destroyed it for me. There was no love in anything Angie did, and Jackie will always have a nagging fear in the back of her head that her gender identity is a coerced lie emotionally beaten into her. She'll never truly fully accept who she is because a subconscious nagging will always fear it isn't real. This is cruellest way possible to bring a transwoman out of the closet, and all the sensitivity and understanding the author showed to what transpeople endure in Oasis In The Desert has been completely destroyed by this cruel misogynist abuse fantasy. The writing is good enough to get an emotional response from me, but when that response is pure and utter disgust for the once enjoyable story, and a complete hatred and loss of all respect for the Author, then the author has failed. I'm going to write my own ending to this and post it, and show how she SHOULD have reacted to her wife's betrayal.

Please look for Jackie Pt. 04; The Non-Horrifying Ending. I've fixed everything Scribler did to ruin my respect for him, and answered the bullsh-t mean cruel ending he gave it with something more uplifting and Justifiable.

OR ANYONE AS DUMB

Excellent. Thank you.

I really can't say anymore. You had an amazing story and the ending was so FUBAR it destroyed the entire story. A huge amount of time was wasted reading this

I knew when I read that first paragraph in the very first story that I shouldve stopped right there but I continued on against my good judgement. It picked up so fast that I got sucked right in.

What a piece of shit story. I dont even think these last two "chapters" qualify. Its a completely different story. Ive never left anyone such a negative comment on a story but you did us all a disservice by sucking us all in like this. No wonder this last one got such a piss poor review.

A very feasible story line with a twist at the end, Not as good as Oasis series. Once again I have problems with your spelling. Thank you

At the beginning the story was beautiful, touching and sexy, then just erotic.

But the end is a calamity that palely reproduced all the worst story on this site...

Why your stories must contain as much humiliation and why "males" are so stupid?

what surprises me for lawyers:

If a woman trayed the wedding day, is not considered consumed, so worthless! more, if she was murdered when she cheats on him at home, with a good lawyer will not be more than 18 months in prison, some do not hesitate ...

Is this chapter a punishment? Or is this just the author behaving like Angie. This story could have gone a lot of different ways, but after a seemingly loving relationship in the first chapters you have Angie lie, cheat, humiliate, coerce, and almost have John commit suicide. And then John believes Angie's lies at the motel. Let's see, Angie marries John under false pretenses to satisfy herself, but is having an affair the whole time. At the end of the story Angie takes his name, his money, and his gender. In return John gets to give up his career, hetero sex, and his ego. To top it all off John gets to have unprotected sex with dozens of people who are probably as upstanding as Angie and Dan. Is John in love or institution bound? Does this poor fucker stand a chance at a long term happy life? Is John going to be able to trust his future to his loving wife/husband after her history of dishonesty?

I really think that a better ending would have been for John realize what cheating lying bitch he is married to. Then shoot some lead at, or video of the judge and Angie and use it to ruin their careers.

If your goal was a "surprise" ending - I was definitely surprised, but mostly just disappointed and angry. Yep, angry. I just lost my partner of 4 yrs., who was TG, to an overdose, and after reading three beautiful chapters of a loving TG relationship and feeling a little of my grief fall away due to the memories it helped restore, suddenly I was thrust into this completely unbelievable drama in chapter 4 that only reminded me of all the mental battles I helped her thru, and then finally, ultimately, failed with. How in the hell could ANYONE that professes to love someone like 'jackie', treat them in such a callous and demeaning manner? Anger comes from pain, and vice-versa, so if your goal was to inflict pain on your readers, based on the comments I've seen on here, you've succeeded scribler. Congratulations.... of "cause", your readers may never want to read ANYTHING you ever write again tho.

The first chapters were beautiful. then, it really hurt. He kept professing he wasn't gay, the story made him gay. Such betrayal. this shouldn't have been in Transsexuals & Crossdressers, this should have been in Cuckold. To find out that he had been lied to all along. by one he truly loved is heartbreaking. It rips the soul out of the heart. I agree with the one story line, He should divorce,Record what the "Lawyers" are really doing and destroy Dan and Angie. Then become her dom. She really didn't need him at all. She could have gotten an actual female for this. She said she was Bisexual. that's what they do, they don't take a male and modify them, they get actual females to participate. I truly wish the story had ended with her having him as a Crossdresser without other men or Dan. very disappointed how the story ended up. There are too few stories about Happiness with straight Crossdressers and wives. My thoughts. : (

I couldn't stop reading the first 3 parts because this was such a heartfelt story of love, romance and a person finding and accepting his inner self. To now read this last chapter where Angie completely screws Jack over. I feel cheated at how this ended.

This could have been a beautiful story but having Angie turn out to be a selfish, hurtful bitch and to have Jack just sit and take it under the guise of it being love. Ridiculous. Your portrayal gives feminine, cross dressing men a bad name.

You ruined what should have been something great...writer's prerogative I guess.

I will say thanks for sharing the first 3 parts and you should have quit while you were ahead.

IDB.

Bullshit she doesnt love him she liked big dick, of course he wont divorce her. actually she should go to prison for feeding him estrogen without his knowlede

I thought Jackie wasn't gay? I thought the story was going really great until you introduced Dan and the infidelity into the story in pt.4. I would love to see part 5 whereas a P.I., hired by the family of Dan's wife finds out Dan institutionalized his wife so he could "play" around and get disbarred and tossed into jail with those he sent to prison. In the story, Angie gets all kinds of invitations to go to bed with other men. she turns them all down and then we find out she's been sleeping around? When she finally finds Jack at the Motel. explains that she was forced by Dan, you could have ended the story by Jack getting revenge upon Dan. Suddenly we find that Angie mocks Jack because of his penis size? Where'd that come from? Remember, she asked him to marry her. That was so sweet. but then turn around to cuckold him? doesn't wash, The way the story ended, She could have gotten all her promotions by marrying Dan. easily done. As another commenter mentioned So many Laws broken,

...Maybe it was just a big FU to literotica, only the scribler knows for sure and hasn't posted anything (we know of) for many years now. The story itself is almost ludicrous in its vulgarities and I think the multitude of comments have caught most of the idiotic storyline as not really making any sense, as a story, an event, you name it, its totally illogical in scope. He lured us all in with his previously exceptional stories, written with care and with incredible detail given to the story's romantically fulfilling storylines... and then he wrote this last chapter and vanished {poof}. There has to be a reason, or why go to the effort? I'm glad someone took the time to write a replacement chapter for this, certainly something I've thought about with many stories on Lit! But If you are looking for an author to put to the pillory, its too late. One author was so enraged that they used the whole idea of luring readers into a romantic story then suddenly turning it into a violent, illogical mess as a motivational piece of a completely different story. This chapter has become quite famous. {sigh} And for exactly all the wrong reasons.

From a closet case

So many haters...

Yes, may not be there style of story. To them, don't read. Go read something that interests you.

Always idiots and haters in the world.......And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...

Hey, I found the story interesting, Enough said!

Cheers mate

This realy is sick. Just coz a man has big dick dosnt make him real man. Thats not love. Fucking at wedding is not love. Oh wait its a story. But still a really sick story.

It happened to me, My wife knew I loved to cross dress before she proposed marriage to me and so she encouraged transitioning me to become more feminine and have breast implants. . Then, she told me that she missed having sex with men with big cocks like she did before we married and introduced dildo's into our marriage.. She convinced me to go Bi. I did. only I really wasn't into it but did it for her sake, Three years later, She ran off with this same guy that she had been secretly seeing after we married. . I came home from work and was served with divorce papers.. Going into our home, I discovered everything she owned was gone including bank accounts. a letter on the kitchen table told me that she had fallen in love with this guy who convinced her to leave me. she did and she divorced me and the basis of that divorce was my "cross dressing". I really became depressed. Six weeks later, she returned. The guy she ran off with and had been secretly seeing for a couple of years turned out to be a real dirt bag. He took her for everything he could get out of her and... Left her pregnant before disappearing, Nowhere to go. for she had lost her job. she came back to me. By then, I had lost the house and moved into an apartment over a land lords garage. She found me through where I worked. For the time she had taken off, I hated her. then missed her and then cried over her. I loved her deeply. Like a fool, I took her back, I put her in chastity. She miscarriage'd the baby in her Sixth month. Today, I slip on a strap-on real life like dildo So far, she hasn't strayed. That was Ten years ago. She did get her old job back.

I really loved this story, as a possibility of how it can go for a submissive guy. For a guy that feels he is not gay, he has a lot to deal with in his own mind, let alone deal with a wife who has manipulated his whole life. The total manipulation by his wife would have been enough for me to say nothing, but get my revenge on both of them. How I did it would be a worthwhile read.

I was under the belief that the story told, was as it was told. I have enjoyed crossdressing to one level or another since I was 12, needless to say I am retired, and still enjoy it. Of course my wife knew, and had many years of fun. I have also been to some socials in my area where there where other married couples. The point I am trying to make is that, for a guy being told he will never going to have sex with his wife ever again, and probably raise the Bull's kid, definitely would not fly. Add to that the special cream for his coffee, without him knowing along with the lies. No, now it's retribution. The last chapter was very disappointing, only to me, because I thought she really loved him. Everything she did to him and for him, was actually for her, that I find typical of todays woman.

Beautiful contrast between a dominant controlling woman and a man who is obsessively in love and enjoys being controlled.

I didn't much care for the way that she brought out his bisexuality and she turned out to be a whore and a dirty slut who would bang every swinging dick. She is too much of a control freak to do something like that.

However, you are the artist and I applaud your work. I look forward to more.

Its a good story. But I would like to see alternative ending like some authors write. Angie got her way from beginning to end, lied, deceived, committed adultery on her wedding day. Illegally obtained hormones and gave to someone without consent - both felonies. Then she gave him 3 choices. "SHE GAVE HIM" ! Jack had dirt on her and Dan the judge. Jack knowslaw also and law analysis. He can track down case law to firms that deal with such cases. Jack could have told Angie for for once in her your life you dont get your way. I dismiss your 3 choices. Then informs her of the 3 choices HE has decided - and she wont like any of them.

Sorry dont see how she can love him, not a bad story but missing it. she weaponized her love for him and used it against him. sorry sad but its not love

I loved the previous episodes, I liked the characters but what she did to him. He should have left. It was justa bit too far fetched an ending. Even with his feelings for her, he would have left. Sorry Scribbler, but I feel let down by the ending.