All Comments on 'Kiss'

by Epithet

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  • 2 Comments
Unbridled_PassionUnbridled_Passionover 17 years ago
quite sensual...

I enjoyed this poem, however the line "he fucked me...

didn't seem to fit into this poem. I feel it went from sensual- to sexual. Nothing wrong with that, just thought it would have been better all sensual, or all sexual.

beautyandwinebeautyandwineover 17 years ago
I have to agree...

I love the sensuality of this, but I would (gently) suggest that you leave the last strophe off entirely. I think it stands powerful enough on its own without the last stanza as a qualifier of sorts. We can already feel the intensity of this kiss.

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