by Epithet
I enjoyed this poem, however the line "he fucked me...
didn't seem to fit into this poem. I feel it went from sensual- to sexual. Nothing wrong with that, just thought it would have been better all sensual, or all sexual.
I love the sensuality of this, but I would (gently) suggest that you leave the last strophe off entirely. I think it stands powerful enough on its own without the last stanza as a qualifier of sorts. We can already feel the intensity of this kiss.