All Comments on 'The Rock'

I loved it, she closed the door on him. He slammed the door shut in her face. Be careful what you try to be, you just might achieve it.

Thanks and keep it up,

Papabear

Amazing... you caught his feelings and pain and gave it to us in these few words.

Who the hell knew you could write?

is two little babies --- a boy and a girl, about 3 or so? --- tumbling down the somewhat sandy shore, screaming "Daddy, daddy, we here.... Mommy's here. Car, car..."

and have another woman, a strong, confident, proud, self assured woman walking slowly towards them, with a basket of fruits.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Yes, Susan. I was just talking to some old friend from the old days.... Come here, little Susie and John... come to you father...." and the two giggle, wobbly kids ran rushing to his embrace.

he scopped them up and walked toward Susan, his wife, who was smiling about 10 feet away, holding their picnic lunch basket.

THAT PICTURE would truly convey to her that in life you sometimes get what you deserve! And while she's fucked many famous people, as well as drug addicts, and have gotten recordings done and made a lot of money, while suffering bad marriages and miscarriages, he went on quietly with life, building a "boring" but solid (ROCK SOLID?) here in the "real America", small town USA where "real people" lived and loved and shared heartaches and sorrows as well as happiness and sublimness together, in good times and in bad times...........

But 5 years to be constantingly contemplating and to be aching over a lousy woman, a liar (to both him and her parents to get what she wants),,,, that's not a very reflective or productive life, is it?

Is this ever appropriate for the times in which we live. Excellent job.

Thank you.

-Pultoy

Beautifully done. A vivid little tale of greed and heartbreak. Loved it - kudos to the author.

Few words can have strong impact. Thanks.

That one just yanked at my heart strings...You really do know how to cull out the emotions don't you. Wonderful job, you should be damn proud of it.

This was great, very touching. And at least he realized in the end just who she really was, or perhaps who she was not. He was right, she would have left him again, when she believed it would serve her better. I especially liked the one commentor who showed what would have been a perfect Epilogue, for her to see just actually what she had given up. Keep writing, you just get better every time you submit.

Loved it. Wow how life can be so cruel, excellent work write some more. Good Luck

does this story happen in real life? Probably every day. It's the actor whose lover no longer fits into his /her life style. It's the lawyer that leaves his wife after she worked to support him through law school. Wetapap has done a wonderful job of telling the story from the injured parties POV. The heros love for his former girl friend is like the whirlpools he is watching in the stream. As time moves on the whirlpols disappear as did the love he once held for her.

Thanks for a good read.

On a scale of "1" to "5", this rates somewhere around a "12".

This story just has to resonate with at least a third of the population; it certainly does, with me.

Keep up the good work.

-- KVK

I don't know if I agree 100% with his logic, but the emotion jumps off the screen! Good job!

Sometimes we get those moments of clarity where we can see exactly how things are. He had his and told her the truth and it confused the hell out of her. Very well told!

very well done.

thanks

The Sword of Love is double edged, when sharppened it can cut thru anything adverse. When duled by betrayal and abandonment, the cuts it leaves are torn and ragged, hard to heal leaving only doubt and feelings of loss at what could have been !!!! TOP MARKS ON THIS ONE KEEP IT UP. Many Thanks,Jimray in PA.

Common Sense and values confront self-absorption and narcissism. In this case, common sense and values prevail.

Cheers!

...concise and poignant. However, I'd wager a case of Corona that she could get him back if she shows evidence of true change, i.e. through her actions rather than her words.

KK raises a valid observation that this happens all the time. In fact, I think it probably happens more to women, especially physicians' wives, than men.

Great writing as usual, Wetapap.

Yes I believe this is a very sad and telling story. Well written and you did it again. Keep it up! The more of your stories I read the more I want you to write more.

Superbly written. I expected him to be married to someone else and his wife appear at the end of the story to punctuate the ending. You didn't write that way and that's okay too.

Loved your story, thanks.

--Alvaron

This story was well conceived, well executed and brought to life with a poignancy that lept off the page. Nice.

Just beautifully done--thanks!

ohio

I enjoyed your story very much. It reminded me a little of the story by juanwildone, "Do you still hold me..." which is also about a lost love who goes off to fame and fortune as a singer. However, he never sees her again and is unable to confront her like your hero does. Your story is more satisfying in that regard.

Boyd

i can say nothing others have not already said but i heartily agree well done and thanks

with a powerful and real message. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

For such a "short" story it did convey a lot of feelings. In the story, I liked that the guy had some back bone.

One side note was that I noticed that he "Did" kinda put his life on hold. It took him a few years to realize that he was waiting for her to want him, but later halfway through the story he realized that it was starting to not matter any more. But I'm confused why he didn't move on himself or find someone else? Not that it hurt the story though.

But one thing that made me love it, and decide to add it to the favorites on my list, was the reflection. He thought about it and pointed it out to her. Sure she might have screwed up, but she didn't try to do anything to fix it. In the story she just "expected" it to all be ignored. Everyone, and in this case her boyfriend "especially", was just supposed to accept her "just because" she came back home and not because she tried to fix any of her screw ups. What you wrote him saying and reflecting I thought was classic.

Great story. Looking for the next one!

-Risq

for everyone that has left comments. i try to send a personal note to each individual. some i have no way of contacting. i do appreciate the comments and wish to thank everyone who has taken the time to read the story.

Great Story!!

I liked the first half of the sory better. When she came home and it got to the dialog it felt weaker. Overall, well written. I'd give it a 90 if I could. Keep writing.

jomar

Enjoyed the hell out of it!

I like the way you structured it. A bit different format that allowed his feelings to come out.

Pretty slick to capture years worth of pain and hurt in a few paragraphs ... but still show a man with a core of pride. There is a cost for everything and sometimes that cost is too much.

Hands down the best story of the year so far.

Kind regards, Jack

This story did most for me of any I've read on this site---as a hard-driving professinal it reaffirms my resolve and fortune to stay close to all my loved ones--actually an uplifting story for me--thank you

An excellent story with so much power in so few words.

Thank you for posting this fine tale. Life can be a bitch and then we move on. Hopefully.

One of those stories that brings in me the instant recognition of a classic: the concise and simple structure; the strong yet restrained emotions; the evocative use of the rock and the river as metaphors throughout the story.

But all that would not have worked if two people lives’ did not come to life so well in such a short story: a clash of characters, values and perspectives on how to go about life’s challenges.

My take: if you want to have it all for yourself alone you end up having none after all.

Thanks for sharing your time, energy and talent.

This is just what this section needed!! A truly great story. I hope your work will inspire some of the other great writers to start posting again.

the other.

Author - a very impressive concise story of lifelike reality.

My only regret was that he didn't appear to be going to meet someone who could really care.

Your best to date ranks among the strongest in a long time seen here as a slice of life's possibles in a fair and consequential depiction.

Thanks Author

With Very High Regard

is his interpretation of what happened, how she felt, really the truth? I readily admit it certainly would so appear, especially when she married a rock star.

A rock star--good lord!! That pretty much says goodbye to everyone and everything in the home town, doesn't it?

Actually, he's probably right and leaving her there is most likely the smartest thing he could do!

Good Story.

I may just have to look this gal up and ride the bandwagon for a while until she dumps me. I mean, she has money, connections, drugs and won't stay with me long who could ask for anything more.(LMAO)

Anyway Wet you did a fine job and I loved the symbolism. Keep up the good work.

Foux Pas

Another example of the mastery of your craft. It is elegant in its simplicity. The statement is very effectively made through realistic characters. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Very fine story. Is there a chance of a followup a few years later? What happened to each, does he regret not trying to build a relationship...

Great story; sad story.

When I read it the first time, I knew it reminded me of something. Upon reading the 2nd time, I remember a pair of songs that Harry Chapin had about a taxi cab driver and a movie star. One of the lines was, "Harry, keep the change." Like the 2 songs, this one could use a chapter 2 about 15 years later...

in your usual style, another absolutely great story. It may have taken him a long time to come to terms, it just made his resolve all the stronger.G.Belgium

I just stumbled upon this story, but it should really be reposted. It is excellent.

... are little precious diamonds on this site.

That story moved me. Il read it again, when I finish writing this comment :). The part which puzzled me the most is when the girl came back and claimed that she still loved him. Did she really really think he was wimp enough to accept her after what she did? Looks like the good guys are always taken for granted.

This was a short story, but one with a beginning, middle, and end! Fantastic! You are a beautiful writer in all of them.

....can't get past HIS own ego and see where they might go together.Time should have healed his heart by then and people change.Bitterness kills-pistolpackinpete

Your stories have a punch and depth. I hope you come back and write more

I really enjoyed the ending. Just as she is appreciating the amount of hurt and distrust she caused; he has finally let her go and can move on with his life. Nice story.

bitch!!! she deservd it.....

Many people have that place of reflection where it is easier to solve life's mysteries. She was always there, until she left. Then it was still his place. She came for a visit, but she was no longer anything but a memory. Who says he didn't move on. He resolved his issue with her. He sees no reason to tell her what is going on in his life, just as she saw no reason to let him know about her's. Her life is important to those who are not important to her. His life is important to just the few people who are truly important to him. A matter of perspective: Who is significant to who?

You got 5 stars from me for this one, but I cannot keep from pointing out one little "hiccup" in the story: you switch back and forth between first-person ("I") and third-person ("he") on more than one occasion while telling this tale.

It's pretty jarring, and really takes away from the overall flow of the work, so I thought you should know.

Keep up the great work!

On all points, her life is all about ME & no one else.

How did I miss this story earlier?

Love this story please come up with a sequel so we can see how much further down the rabbit hole it goes

This story begs, pleads for another chapter. Don't be a wimp, FINISH IT!!!!!

turn into nightmares unless one awakens from a deep slumber. TK U MLJ LV NV

This was great! It had some minor problems, such as the flow in tense and perspective, but I forgave that. It was good to see a man who took a hit but kept it together and understood that the woman he fell for was just an idea. He knew not to put his head in a noose again. As the old saying goes, "Once bitten, twice shy."

The story was somewhat dark and sad, but so is life. Sometimes we can expect something we desperately want to elude us, and that's exactly what happened here. We can also know that, like in this story, things usually happen for a reason. Often the pain of not getting what we want pales in comparison to what would happen if we had our desire fulfilled. This story makes that truth abundantly clear.

Jeez. I hope you are willing and able to write again.

Shallow and vain - and it is just possible she has learned but the statement that her career has just started suggests she has not -

He is right and protecting himself from more pain -

made the correct decision, based on lack of trust from a selfish bitch.

5*****s

He saw right through her bullshit. Fuck her. Great tale.

I was so worried that he would take her back.

You finally nailed it, up to now I've been giving 4*, but this puts everything into perspective succinctly and accurately.

Well done for only the third 5* I've ever given (like I know!).

and then there is the Biggy Why. TK U MLJ LV NV

bit of a selfish bitch, isn't she?

I understand she hurt him badly, but if he's just going to shut her out when she came back, why the heck did he spend all that time and effort pining and crying over her in the first place?

This has to be one of the best pieces of short writing I have read of late. I love the pain, I love how he exposes her with every statement and I love that she is not able to see the person she was, or she became!!

Wonderful!!

I agree with previous comment one of the best short stories or flash stories!

I wish you were still writing on this site! Sadly as so many good writers you have disappeared - I hope e-published or at least still writing!

Thank you for writing and keeping these stories on this site! Still wishing for more or a note to find more to read!

That was good. Painful to read, yet good. He realised the truth about her and walked away.

Outstanding story thanks,

top notch. A well deserved ending.

MAGNIFICO. TC Ireland.

I don't agree with everyone who thinks it is good that they didn't reconcile. He has experienced life without her, he has no one waiting for him, why not take a chance? He loved her once, she loved him once... Perhaps it is still there? She hurt him and left him but it is so petty to then turnaround and do the same thing to her. An immature "one ups man" type of behavior.

Best story on the site. Period.

Very well written. I'd have preferred if he had his revenge by living well....

Great fucking story. I'd like more of it.

Sad, but damn near perfect1