All Comments on 'A New and Delicate Balance Ch. 03'

It's just too over the top psychologically. I'm not sure any of it happened anywhere other than in his head. Maybe he invisioned it all while in recovery in a mental institution.

I find this series very interesting. People have s many different ways of thinking about love and what it is what it requires. A mentally ill person will love in a wildly different way than those who are "normal". I like htis series.

A few stories make reading this site worth while. This is one of those.Thank you very much.

So his evil wife has several men beat the shit out of him and he DOESN'T tell the police?? No Way. She would have been caught easily.

Good story overall but something is missing. What about the cops and the wife? Did they pin it on her and press the charges? There has to be some consequences for her. We need these questions answered. This one is an emotional roller coaster, like real life would be.

The entire thing needs to be cleansed from the face of the earth. Never have I read a more rambling peice of crap in my life. At the beginning of part 2 you wrote that Eric didn't want to see his boss because he blamed him for his mess, yet you never clarified it.

You seemed to be lost in some sort of drug iinduced fog and you tried to sink your readers into it...Please have the story removed.....you don't want to be remembered as having wrote it.

I am so glad you didn't have Eric wimp out, forgive, forget, and take her back. That women crosses the boundary from self centered and selfish to truly evil. So many authors on this site (women & MEN) create such horrible, awful characters of wimpy men who accept some of the most outrageous de-humanizing behavior. Men who can't let go and get on with their lives, but meekly accept cheating slut wives, and stay with them in some kind of weird sick relationship, that they then try to fool themselves and others into believing it's better somehow. Keep the good stories coming.

Okay, there aren't any glaring technical errors in this chapter. No misspellings, incorrect punctuation, or bad grammar jumps out at the reader. Heck, the words even flow fairly well. The trouble is with the underlying premise. What functioning human being would be able to treat a spouse in the fashion the wife in this story treats her husband? It’s just too far out. No one could actually believe what the wife is supposed to believe. Someone once told me a work of fantasy has to be *more* plausible than real life, not less, and this story just doesn’t meet that criterion.

Just why the writer included the beating in the alley is curious. This wasn’t the way the ex-wife would act – according to the picture the writer painted of her right from the beginning of the story. It was such a farcical thing to put into the story. I can only guess it was included for the sole purpose of allowing the protagonist to have his epiphany that he and “Irene” would be getting together. If so, that particular device failed.

Additionally, I understand what the last line in the story is supposed to evoke. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work. It wasn’t properly set up and the reader is left dissatisfied.

Good story, enjoyed it.

Why didnt Eric have the police arrest Elaine and her henchman arrested for the assault eric did see the man in the bar why didnt he tell the police about him?

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

they beat your ass and they fucked your wife and you still running off at the mouth.why writer not stop this abuse.send some people to l.a. and beat her ass good and write on her ass,i'm a whore for anybody.you just don't let that ass beating go like that.you need to scare the shit out of her,so she want try again.

You build up pictures in my brain that makes your story tangibly to me. Thank you very much for that good reading.

Noch mal auf deutsch, weil ich das besser kann, als englisch.:-)

Deine Geschichte erzeugt in meinem Kopf Bilder, die die Handlung in greifbare Nähe zu rücken scheinen. Du verwendest ausdrucksstarke Szenen, in die man sich sehr gut hineinversetzen kann. Mist, ich glaube, die eine oder andere Träne habe ich verdrückt.

Dankeschön

Nucleus

but this isn't the last chapter. I saw this story posted on another website with more chapters and it's still not finished.

Oh boy, someone mentioned this story being an emotial rollercoaster, and we haven't seen half of it!!!!! I hope the author updates faster.

Cheers!

An anomaly in Lit; each chapter got better and better!

I loved the dark twist at the end. People should be reading more carefully their stories ending; you never know when a tricky author may plant a little poisonous bitter time bomb ticking to be activated after the end of the story…

The truth of it is that it goes beyond a literary device. It points to the baggage we carry to our next relations. His (and her) task would be to develop their relations while separating from the internal presence of their previous ones. In other words – kicking out the two other ex spouses from their bed room so that they could be left alone, that is -just the two of them.

Going backward, the A-la mafia scene with the wife was not necessary IMO. Maybe you planted it there to emphasize the problems the two of them had in separation. So sometimes you need to hammer – literally, a lesson into someone’s head with a hammer, or as the case maybe with broken ribs. Alternatively, it reminds me of few other authors here who would not release any couple from their marriage unless the cheating spouse died; literally –accident or illness. Just horribly cheating is never enough. Could that maybe to some degree the case with you. Only a real physical monstrosity gives you the emotional licensee to let them be finally separated?

While it would have been nice to know that the psycho ex gets a long sentence in a top security jail for violent and mentally ill criminals, it’s nothing that could not have been handles in a post script. IMO it is not enough to justify another chapter, and would defuse the impact of the twist at the end of this one.

Overall this is a rarity for me, as in each chapter you further elevated its quality, and broke my expectations each time to a higher level. I enjoyed this chapter most, thank you!

This writer has the skills and imagination needed to keep the reader guessing, and enjoying it. I think we'll be seeing a lot more from this author!

you wait until he meets the next slut and see what she eventually does to him!

the next woman makes Elaine look more like mother Teresa.

but, to be realistic, it's NOT the women (or the women characters); the "problem" lies with this man. this is NOT a very likeable man. he's like one of these women whom abusive men easily find as their targets.

this guy goes from one woman to another with I AM A VICTIM pasted in red on his forehead. of course, all these women who abuse him, they ALL declare undying love for him and deep regret over their actions.

they don't just fuck other men and women; they have kids by other men. this man just sits, drinks, and cries big tears about why they are so aweful to me when all he wants to do is just love them forever! lol

again, this CHARACTER, as written by the author, is a WALKING VICTIM. he sounds like he's smart; but he is NOT in actualty; he's weak, he relishes being a victim, and he actively looks for women who love to find victims.

at the end, after a few women have shit in his soup, have kids by other men, his thoughts were: "this must be my fate, so I will gladly acquiesce to it." it's really pathetic,

I have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with Eric. Elaine is just a sick evil person. But Eric who lived with this woman for years never realized that (1) she fucked everybody and none of his so called friends gave him a clue; (2) he did not realize that Elaine would have him beaten possibly to death; and (3) he seems unable to let her go. Why would he want to hang out with Cynthia who cheated with his wife on him? After the argument in the park why would he have anything to do with Elaine?

I agree with one commenter who characterized Eric as a life long victim. Now when all of the characters (Eric, Elaine and Cynthia) are not likeable why read the story? What was the purpose of Elaine arranging Eric's beating?

You write very well but I am missing what is meant by the title "a new and delicate balance?" In this story Eric had been living a lie so what is the balance (that his illusion was shattered)?

SleeplessinMD

I do like your stories and I like that I have no idea where its going from one chapter to the next. Its nice to be surprised once in a while as long as the author doesnt write just for the sake of throwing the reader off (i.e. the twist/surprise must make some sense in the context of the story and not just come out of the blue). I do like the general way you move the story but I did have a problem with the beating.

Its (beating) not a deal breaker or anything since it didnt seem like a main part of the story. I guess thats why it confused me. I wasnt sure why the beating was there or what the purpose was. It didnt really seem to have much of an impact since he had already decided to leave her. Maybe it was just to show that she was unbalanced or something but even then, it just ended. As the wife was heading off stage left, you just threw in that she was a nut for no reason I could understand. I guess I probably just missed something.

Anyway, I think it was a good story overall (the beating didnt detract, I just dont understand what it added). It was up and down and all over the place (in a good way). Thanks for writing.

This chapter had a sense of darkness about it - even the time in Chicago didn't turn out bright like ti should have.

I though the attack on him made a lot of sense - it was the epitaph on the gravestone of their marriage.

Writing shows a lot of raw talent.

Regards, Jack

But shouldn't Elaine and three hulks be in prison somewhere??

The author of this story has excellent writing skills! Of course, it is only a story but there has to be some basis of logic so that one can believe the various events and make some sense of them. My problem with this story is that the logic is missing, but maybe being a male in the Midwest I am not "sensitive" like the men in New York who are more in touch with their "feminine" side. It is clear to me that Eric is really a woman, at least symbolically, and Elaine is a man, or at least stereotypically. Eric is passive throughout the story. Despite expressing anger and thoughts about killing, beating, etc. these are simply emotional responses to his hurt. He actually does nothing. He does not even follow through with the divorce. He should have sought counselling long ago, as his only way of coping is to get drunk, which is not coping at all, it represents passivity. Elaine is like a man who says, "It was just sex and I really love you and want to stay married." The stereotype is there -- men are historically depicted that way, maybe men sometimes are that way, but studies show women cheat about as often as men. Despite all the cheating by his wife, Eric continues to love Elaine. Eric is the "abused woman" who loves/hates her "husband" despite being treated badly. The final part completes this; Eric is the one who gets a beating, not Elaine who really deserves it. And by the end of the story, it is clear Eric still can't take any action. He does not even file charges against those who assaulted him, let alone the person who put them up to it. And he takes no revenge. He seems to have moved passively into the next marriage and the implication is that Irene is probably cheating on him now, but he just shrugs, having been beaten into submission, so he goes with the flow and doesn't ask questions. Elaine went into therapy and "realizes how selfish she was, how she had low self esteem, and how she now knows she hurt Eric." The therapy does not seem to have done any good considering the criminal act she arranges for her ex, as a parting shot. I just don't think a man would behave the way Eric has behaved in this story, unless he were really a woman. If that is the point of the story, then the author has fully achieved it.

This story sucks you in, especially because you expect some kind of resolution. But there isn't any. Eric starts as a victim and ends like a victim. Ugh. At the end, I despised him and his whining. He dwelled in his misery and stayed there. Elaine starts as a self-centered twit, basically a psycopath, and stays there. No, that might be wrong, the psychotic incidents become worse because apart of being a self-centered manipulative bitch, she's capable of violence--in fact, she feels entitled to it. In this story, only the action changes, but the characters don't when they logically should. I'm very dissapointed. I feel cheated. The writing skills are there, but the elements of a story or story development not at all.

Therefore I could only award you 50.

You did write well enough but the plot was stupid. I know, you try to play on the emotions but believe me using suicide was the vilest emotional blackmail. It's manipulative. There are indeed wimpy men that when the wives go on a suicide they will forgive them for anything they do and suffer miserably for the rest of his lives.

Well, as we all know there is a sucker born every minute.

I enjoyed the story overall, but felt let down at the end. The "new" relationship had an unreal, hurried quality that maybe was caused by his seeming need to be victimized. But if he was truly recovering, why not make sure that she knows this and is ultimately punished for what she did to him both physically and mentally. I am not being clear. I am not a romantic who thinks that evil should always be punished in a story - the happy ending - but I cannot believe the police would not have pursued her and the men and that she would be caught.

His happiness at the end would have "punished" her as she sat in a jail cell or prison.

One other thought: why did she not go after the other woman if she was so obsessed with him. She clearly was following him or having him followed. Her manaical revenge on him was so over the top that to ignore the new girl seems almost out of character.

I guess, I feel you need a follow chapter.

The story was well written, but I was frustrated by the husbands actions or lack there of. He was rather sad and lost. Furthermore why was the wife never arrested as part of the aggravated assault all by her doing.Then again not everyone has a strong core to their character.

if elaine wanted to talk to erick why have erick attacked and do bodily damage to him and why didnt erick have the police file a law suit against elaine and buddies in the ally erick better watch Irene she is probably like elaine.

when is the next chapter ?

Atlanta,Ga

You have to write elaine story ,you write of all the others caracthers, less that most important of all,of this story,because we need to know why she betrayed and hurt her "husband".

Well written, but unsatisfying, based mostly on inaction and unlikable characters without any redeeming qualities.

This story ranks among the best dozen or so I have read here. Actually, your writing style and ability to describe situations, to me, rank among the better ones in American Literature. That is, you are experienced and you are highly gifted at writing. RAG

He goes from one cheating wife to the next when will he learn ?

Pat

I know that this is just a story, but if you will allow me to impart just a bit of legal knowledge in case you want to go this route again in a story. If you serve papers on somebody, whether they be divorce or some other kind of lawsuit, tearing them up means nothing. Once a notice of service has been filed with the court (the other documents need to be filed before they are served) then if there is no response within the appropriate time frame, a default judgment will be entered and our boy Eric would be free.

i guess under the law there is a difference in taking a comment seriously if the sender isn't anonymous, but i shall accept yours, as you seem to mean it (smile). well, i thank you for enlightening a poor european girl in how things are done in the states, but i don't think your remarks make much difference for the flow of the story. i never said that her tearing up of the papers had consequences for ending the marriage, did i? thanks, nevertheless, for reading and commenting. i hope you liked the story.

Great story, I just don't know if I can go through seven more chapters of the pain that Eric seems to believe he needs.

It is obvious that Eric is a psychopath. He is cruel and evil. He is a danger to society and he should be locked up with the criminally insane.

It's getting more exciting with each chapter. Thanks for sharing.

That he doesn't even retaliate after the assault is just to much. He is weak that is why his life went to shit, but he will never realize that and thats why it doesnt make sense to read any further.

You are masterful at telling this story.

Elaine and her black friends need to die, but that would take a real man not Eric the coward.

with no understanding of maturity or masculinity.

Please ignore the negative comments. I've experienced enough in life to say that this is excellent story telling, and all I want to do is keep reading.

Thank you. You are a very good writer. It's just that I don't like your stories. I don't agree with the homophobes who fear their masculinity is under attack if a male character displays too much submissiveness or permissiveness or (Good God forbid) if he sucks a cock. But I have read several stories now and I think they lack subtlety and balance. Also way tooooo long when you know where they are going.

Story telling.

He would have gone to the alley, and as I understood it he can ID Elaine as being there. Also while I do not like the turn this segment takes at the very end, I can see that there is more to this twisted "Love" that the author wants to explore. Write on, even though I don't like wimps, I like blaming the victim even less. My BTB brothers, Ease up on the character and author Eh? OldBear.

Why has this poor guy jumped from the pan into the fire? Is that cunt Elaine in jail yet? My curiosity needs me to continue...

This story although well written lacks the rails needed to move the train.

The story also wanders quit a bit; the primary characters are not well defined.

I for one do not like cliff hangers in every chapter; it makes it difficult to remember which hanger was tied to which event.

Slut needs to be dealt a final death blow.

Plot holes you could drive a truck through. Lots of pretty, empty phrases from an author that seems to enjoy vagueness. I will try one more chapter because I'm apparently more of an optimist than I realized.

I usually don't like really long stories, but am enjoying this one. Eric seems to me to be a nice guy, Elaine a nut case. We'll see about Irene.

Chilley

yes, she is insane. Even though she professes love, she has this even greater sense of fairness that must be balanced". She hurts by losing him, and in her sick way she has to hurt him to make things even. Again, such a surreal storyline, yet you handle it with brilliant prose. This fits no formula and may irk some, but this is a genuine work of literature. Very good.

His ex wife is a petulant child to an unrealistic degree. Anyone that would marry someone so childish deserves everything that comes his way. How is this an editors choice, and how did a woman write such a misogynistic female character?

Previous comments have held it against Eric that he did little about the assault.

Eric did not have good identification on the thugs, the first was a large man he never saw before and the other two were just large men in a dark alley barely seen before they started knocking him out.

Did he see Elaine or not?

He was barely conscious, which a defense attorney would use to great effect.

So the only way would be for him to lie.

He needed to start with the police as soon as he became conscious then follow through in court.

That is a lot for a thing which he had no expertise in.

A capable liar usually does better at spotting the lies others tell.

As the old saying goes "You can't bullshit a bullshitter."

He has enough trouble in his life without adding a conviction for perjury to the pile.

I can't get thru another word.

Either the author is an absolute man hating cunt or a Hillary supporter.. or both.

No one can come up with this garbage and not be.

or even hang with those who are, TK U MLJ LV NV

yea, I guess. I lost track a few times, trying to follow the authors thoughts.

Your character is a dick! He keeps giving into her and gets his ass kicked!

I keep reading hoping to find redemption but it just keeps getting worse!

You are pathetic!

Read one more chapter out of morbid fascination.......please, find another hobby, writing isn't it.

Elaine surprised me. How could he just let it go after her having him beat up that way? Before this, I felt that she was pretty messed up but truly loved him and if she got her shit together it might be OK. Now I just would like to see Elaine hurt and things go well with Irene.

How can he do it? She obviously has money, or the ear/cock of somebody with money, else why the group of wiseguys? But still, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth her getting away with this very extreme (sounds on the edge of fatal, or permanent damage) “payback” for something she caused. Just don’t see a way of it happening, though.

Please don't be discouraged by some of the a-holes that write nasty, hateful comments. This is a great story that I am enjoying immensely! Thank you!

There are many, many, many wrong things in your story. And I'm not talking about the psycho-bitch you portrayed, but about your male character. You obviously have NO IDEA how a man feels, thinks and acts. That alone spoiled all the sotry for me. You wrote a man with a female mind. That ruined and otherwise interesting story. You should have looked for help, some male beta readers to guide you into the right path.

it just went from unrealistic to goofy. WTF?

Aling with all her bbc friends. Js

whether walking, talking, working. playing or especially resting and recharging, TK U MLJ LV NV

But the bitch needs to pay the ultimate price.

This has to be the dumbest story ever written.

...is destined to be the dumbest cuckold I have ever read about.

Seriously BORING.

Something tells me his interwining with adultery isn't done yet.

Elaine is a psychotic narcissistic cunt who deserves a slow painful death. Eric, appears to have shitty taste in women who treat him like shit. Irene will turn out to be another colossal mistake. Why did the fuck he marry her??? Boy's just plain stupid.

This could have been a place to end the story. If an open ended one was the authors intent. But her muse had more to this story to play out.

She stamps her little foot, tears the papers up and...that's it! No more divorce!

He's getting closer!!

Good ending, but could be better IMHO.

Not sure where I am on this 5* for now.

Story started off stro g but then it went off the rails towards the end.

What. The. Fuck? Whar kind of bullshit ending is that? The cumdumpster spoiled brat has her husband beat by her friends? This story was an utter waste of time.

And the author continues...writing an absolute horror monster of a wife character.

I'll stop here in this series. Won't read any more of this. If I want to read horror stories...Stephen King's books have way better monsters.

I read this story because it had an E award. Now I know it stands for “Eewwwwwwwwwww!”

"I don't care about the house," - I'm confused. I think in the first chapter they had a house, here they have a house, but in chapter two it was definitely an apartment. If it IS a house, then they have equity,and he damn well better care about getting his share!

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"Why did she never ask for my help?" - I think Cynthia answered that in the last chapter: She didn't WANT to fight it.

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"How could you be so selfish not to allow me my harmless pleasures?" - LOL, how could he be so selfish as to not accept her selfishness?

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"I want to get through this quickly and with as little pain as possible." - NOW she wants to get through this quickly and with as little pain as possible.

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This whole section could have been one four page chapter.

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He still should have filed charges. Elaine sent those guys.

Ok, if this turns into a RAAC after this chapter Ms. ASophie will turn out to be as clueless as Cagivagurl as to how men react to betrayal!

Try as I might I just find any sympathy for the MC