I really love these 2 and am glad things are finally going well for them
by
Anonymous01/11/07
It's a 5!!!
Splendidly done! This sex scene was hot! Burning sizzling hot! And you had my tongue lolling.
Great description with the right dose of juicy detail!
Your writing style got better and better with each new chapter. WTG Ada!!!
by
Anonymous01/11/07
Very,very
hot!!!! I'm glad she did not kick out of her bed.
by
Anonymous01/12/07
Keep them coming!
This is a great series; each chapter is not only insightful, but builds upon the last, giving insight to this relationship. I want to commend you for providing something not only readable as erotica, but a work that is uniformly *passionate* and *personal*. Those two qualities bring the main characters to life and as a reader I feel just as frustrated when things go wrong for them or an opportunity is missed, only to experience the same relief (and release!) when chemistry sparks.
Now, a small point of contention: it gets a little distracting for me to see the same reference over and over in a short paragraph. Repetition of "his cock," "cock" and "cock" in only three or four sentences can disrupt the wonderful flow of your narrative and it gets a mite disruptive. If you would like a bit of editorial advice, try to limit the use down a bit by altering your sentence structure a little.
That said, your dialogue is fantastic -- and you have a great sense of timing. Please don't stop writing!
English
fantastic
I really love these 2 and am glad things are finally going well for them
It's a 5!!!
Splendidly done! This sex scene was hot! Burning sizzling hot! And you had my tongue lolling.
Great description with the right dose of juicy detail!
Your writing style got better and better with each new chapter. WTG Ada!!!
Very,very
hot!!!! I'm glad she did not kick out of her bed.
Keep them coming!
This is a great series; each chapter is not only insightful, but builds upon the last, giving insight to this relationship. I want to commend you for providing something not only readable as erotica, but a work that is uniformly *passionate* and *personal*. Those two qualities bring the main characters to life and as a reader I feel just as frustrated when things go wrong for them or an opportunity is missed, only to experience the same relief (and release!) when chemistry sparks.
Now, a small point of contention: it gets a little distracting for me to see the same reference over and over in a short paragraph. Repetition of "his cock," "cock" and "cock" in only three or four sentences can disrupt the wonderful flow of your narrative and it gets a mite disruptive. If you would like a bit of editorial advice, try to limit the use down a bit by altering your sentence structure a little.
That said, your dialogue is fantastic -- and you have a great sense of timing. Please don't stop writing!
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