by Harddaysknight
sluts his wife included. If he had brains he would divorce her but he is braindead.
Good story. No qualifiers this time either :) A funny story that I enjoyed reading. Thanks again for writing.
Great Story. Just proves why a man should be a real man and have no feelings, a man with feelings gets walked all over by women. Women say they want a man with feelings and one who will "talk to them", BS, when they get a man like they describe they just crap on him. See what this guy got by not really caring one way or the other.
This is a story you almost have to feel at a visceral level - hdk has caught at some fundamental truths, key of which ... drum roll ... men and women ARE different.
I can only enviously chuckle.
Regards, Jack
Man, you are on one serious roll. This is roll on the floor, laugh out loud funny.
And the funniest part is the comment below from the guy who's taking this seriously.
I got an idea, maybe you can get work as a writer for Foxworthy or maybe Larry the Cable Guy. This stuff is at least as good as anything they can come up with.
Thanks for making my night.
"Your ass is big enough for a hummingbird, ot maybe even an eagle." The best line in the story.
HDK has an imagination that is unequaled.
HDK
I busted a gut over this story. As usual, when you write it, it's a winner in my book. Thank You. Ronnie W.
Sounds like the perfect marriage to me. He definitely has his priorities in order. What could be better than a slut wife and a slut neighbor to handle the small (large?) issues while he ponders the more important aspects of life. This guy has it made.
There's more I'd like to say but I'm a little short of breath from laughing so hard.
Cheers
Amusing story. Seems like it belongs in the Humor & Satire category.
Could have been more to it, but it wasn't supposed to be all that serious. Was it???
If you’d tell me a joke I did not find funny I’d be polite, probably chuckle and move on. If you’d ask me what I thought, and you were someone I hardly knew,I‘d say it was ok, and wait to move on. But if that someone was a person I considered somewhat closer I’d honestly confess: sorry pall, it did not work this time. I will not put down any who laughed, but for me, there was too much contempt towards women to allow me to enjoy it even in a joke.
BTW, I have no problem with the right category. I can recognize the genre when I see it, no matter under what section it has been put. Speaking of contempt, I do not enjoy: “your mama is so… “Jokes; or lyrics that talk about ‘bitches’ rather than women (those are not jokes usually). Derisive talk on any creed gender and religion is a bad habit in any genre.
Consider the following mental exercise. Think of a joke you think is very funny. There is one condition though. It has to strongly put down, make fun of a group which could fall under one or the categories: gender; race; ethnicity; nationality; religion; age. If you found one, proceed to choose the most important 3 ways you describe yourself: lets say: White Christian Male, or any combination of three features which best define who you are. Then put that identity in your joke. Most who honestly do the exercise don’t laugh at it any more.
If you could not find a joke don’t worry. Just put your three identity tags into the following spaces: All __ - __ - ___ are dumb loosers, its so much fun to make fun of them. Now let’s hear the exceptionalists who will demonstrate why in their case it’s totally different.
What is KOLGORE running on about? BOTH members of this partnership are almost ethereally funny archetypes. As usual, Hardaysknight establishes his premise and allows the story to flow from there.
IMHO, this is his best work: second place isn't even close.
To claim this is some kind of diatribe against women is a bit odd. Each character in this story is totally obvlivious to the other as a person. That's what makes it so funny to those of us with a sense of humor.
I have an ancient, yellowed cartoon hanging on my refrigerator. An old married couple are in their kitchen. The husband says: "There are nine thousand languages on Earth and we can't communicate in any of them."
The wife says: "What in the world are you talking about?"
This story could have been about that marriage.
Man, Kolklore is such a boring fag. ARe you the humor Nazi or what?
O.K. This AUthor is full of shit and the story was dumb and dumber, but it wasnt sexist. It was just badly written.
I think the best thing for all is for the author and Kolkore to have some gay, fag sex whilst I fuck both June and SUe, how about that?
this time, loved it, great tongue in cheek humor. i've always heard a half truth is what makes a joke funny. this one is humorous not because it has a half truth to it, but because it makes fun of a half truth in male and female relationships. great job. a fan always.
Great satiric comedy. Thanks, HDK. I particularly liked Sue's monologue about her cheating with the parody of the usual lines seen in cheating wife stories. Wonderful.
I don’t think that the story makes fun of the husband. We are laughing with him (those who do) at the wife, then the neighbor, then both of them. In fact, the whole purpose of the husband is to be a back drop for the purpose of showing how impossible women are (you can’t stick a word in and why bother anyway).
BTW, Wetapap, what was half truth in the story and how it made it funny for you?
I am glad you told us this was story was an attempt at humor. I didnt see it as all that funny. SoMe did which is fine. It was OK ... just not my cup of tea.
I got a kick out of the guy acting as if he was almost a piece of furniture during the story.
didn't say the story had a half truth. i said it made fun of a half truth that most seem to think exists in the mars vs venus, male vs female in most relationships. It came across to me more as humor that was making fun of other humor.
A wild one, from about as far out in left field as we can imagine our friend HDK getting!
But full of the same sense of humor, the same sense of surprise and unexpected juxtapositions as all his stories.
You just have to take it for what it is--this isn't what HDK usually gives us, an at least semi-realistic picture of some actual people. This is HDK in some alternate universe, so let's enjoy visiting it with him!
Thanks for a lot of amusement--
Best, ohio
Harry in VA is correct. HDK has entered the world of JPB. Not really a good thing for HDK to do.
Still, it was slightly funny.
Cheers!
Not your usual HDK, but I liked the humor of it. I agree with wetapap. I still think you stay with your other types of stories. More entertaining I believe.
but I don't think too realistic.
I guess the opposite of realism IS funny
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?"
Communication is the key to a healthy marrage. Best story since Michelle. Thanx LYG
I loved this, HDK. I'm pretty sure women are, in fact, from Venice. How else can one explain the things they do? LOL Not your usual fare, but who can ignore the fact the hubby took swift corrective action when confronted with a problem? It's just that some men's priorities aren't other men's priorities, right? :)
I was laughing up till the the neighbor came over, I was just lost at that point. It stopped being funny to me and started being a twilight zone script. Some parts I laughed at, but others just made me wonder if you might need a "slight" bit more sleep before your next post (^_^) -Risq
I sure got a good laugh from this tale. The unrealistic confession from the wife that she 'still loves him' and the just as unrealistic activity with the neighbor's wife in the kitchen was a shear delight. Thank goodness it did not have the negativity that JPB includes in many of his tales. Keep up this type of story every once in a while.
Loads of fun, thanks for the laughs. You have a great imagination and a breezy style.
Some of HDK's tales are beautifully emotional, logically paced with witty one liners galore and a satisfying sense of justice in which the punishment fits the crime. In other tales, HKD's sense of humor and sense of the ridiculous comes to the front, and he tweaks the readers with a wonderful little romp, this story is one of them. Come on, sit back, put your feet up, read this story and laugh your ass off! I certainly did.
*giggling*
I loved it. The high strung wife vs the absent minded husband.
Nevermind that the sex scenes were done in what can't even be considered half assed, but also the fact that this has to be the dumbest fucking man on Earth? And he claims he knew his wife well enough to know she was upset, I'm wondering if he was born with a mental defficiency.
I don't know why people think you are a good writer. Technically your writing isn't all that good and your sense of humour is worse.
All four of them cheated. He is so stuped I think may be he is retarded. I think both cupels should devorce for cheating.
Thanks! I needed a good laugh today.
I guess this was your obligatory humorous story. Now you have to write a truly dark blood and guts horror story. keeping karma is a bitch.
This story was a delightful fiction story. Why some commenters are are upset amazes me. They really take this cheating wives stuff way too seriously. Like everyone that comments, I like to give my comment and opinion on a lot of them too, because that's the only way I get to write something myself. I am sure that goes for them as well...
I have read this several times and love it. I take it as a spoof on a way too seriously taken subject. "SEX"
lol I didn't know so many of literotica's readers are so illiterate this was an interesting piece...and everyones comments about how unrealistic or how bad this story was...go read some more...you obviously haven't read enough in your lifetime...
Which I believe must have been about the same time you signed up for Lit!!!
Of the last ten or twenty stories I have read...your comments have been nothing but absolutely moronic.
My father always said..."If you can't say something nice, then keep your opinions to yourself. And I know I’m going against this advice, but I think you need it.
There is one saving grace for you!!! You do make me laugh at your feeble attempts to down anyone who just wants to entertain
Good spoof HDK...and I doubt I need to say...don't listen to idiots like doorknob...lol
she taped a piece of paper on the telly and called pay-per-view
HDK you have caused me to begin the day with a smile. Great story. I would like to take this opportunity to recognize the Village Idiot. I can think of no one that I have ever met during my life time that could surpass Dwornok in the consistency of making a fool of himself. He is a Master. It is a shame he was not born in the animal kingdom as he would have surely been eaten by his Mother. Lollipop Amanda? I think he would eat the stick first.
as it was meant to be, just funny and fun. Which it was 4 stars
That was fun -
Not a bright light in the entire chandelier rofl -
Sure, some women are from Venus. The part where there is no air. Some men are from Mars. The "who gives a shit" part. Together they make no sense at all.
Just like my comment.
HA Ha ha
Damn, that was funny as hell!
5 Hilarious Stars! :D
Back when that dreadful pop-psycho-babble 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' was the rage. Every damn party we went to at least one damn fool or another would start spouting that nonsense.
My wife and I got so pissed off at the idiots that we came up with the following skit.
Dr. Feelgood: "Men are from Mars! Women are from Venus!"
Myself: That is utter nonsense, if the truth be told 'Women are from Luna and Men are from Uranus"
My wife would riposte with: You jerk! Women may be Lunatics a few days a month..... but Men are assholes every day!"
got to get your priorities straight. wife fucking around, no problem get pussy from next door. now that hole in the wall now that is a different matter. got to get tools, dry wall, and going to need paint and plaster. will need to spend some time thinking about that hole. thanks for the read
Funny. Fucking. Shit. No wonder those humorless closet-cucks drove you out of LW and into Novels, poor blighters have no wedding tackle and no sense of humor.
And no minions!
The matter of fact way he dealt with these pig women was amusing and grim.
A couple of bat shit crazy women and a man thinking about drywall repair? Funny story but I think the aftermath is going to include a couple of divorces. And I'm still not sure why his wife wasn't slapping the shit out of the two of them while they were going at it right in front of her!
Maybe they should have at least a semi-permanent wife swap. But what would they say to the kids? Didn't a couple of NY Yankees pitchers go through this?
I don't know if this a parody or just a new spin in the LovingWife, but this character was fantastic. He is listening that his wife just cheated, that he held him in somewhat contempt, he was even thinking about not speaking to her accusatory or in anger... and he is not a cuckold.
He really, really doesn't give a fuck.
Is supreme confidence in the mold of a human being.
So what if he had low sex drive? That he is boring? That his wife is cheating? He knows who he is and what he desires and what he desires is to fix that damn wall and infidelity can suck his balls.
You made me laugh. Congratulation and I salute you, you shining diamond.
A great story. You've come up with an IQ test for LE readers, and look at how many flunked.Funny as could be, and very well crafted.
Chilley
Total parody of the old bit about men and women having totally different views of everything. And it helps when the characters have brains the size of mustard seeds.
His stories usually make no sense at all in the real world but boy, does he have a sense of humor and a great grasp of English and story pacing..
Loved it as usual
Really liked his detective story also.
You have a habit of making up strange characters and strange situations ...... Keep them coming.
Really clever, very funny. Only a guy could write this. We don't need to listen to wives.
...that I rated one of your stories with just one star. What happened? Usually your stories are worth a lot...but this one reads itself as if trying to please some reader who´s recovering from a stroke.
Loved it. More about Bill, Sue and their exploits in the neighborhood...please....
I guess I just don't see the humor with infidelity. You're a good author so I won't even bother scoring this one.
Three stars. I'm sorry. I generally thoroughly enjoy your stories. This doesn't seem like you wrote it.
Guy just don't give a shit one way or the other as long as they keep the talk to a minimum and put out. FUNNY
Why are you reading HDK stories? You just keep reading them and leaving nasty comments. Quit reading them. That's a lad. You're stinking up the place.
Not great. Need a mustang in it & cut the guys dick off. That would spice it up a bit.
Very successful attempt at humor. At least from the male side, bravo!
Ended up just fucking tedious, boring as shit.
He used to be a quality writer here.
So sad!!!