by angiquesophie
Very well written once again. A few inconsistencies but mostly hangs together. Interesting to hear this point of view. But we don't find out anything about the contacts with Eric where she warns/tells him, the attempts to phone him (which he rebuffs), and so forth. I guess another chapter is needed for Mary to tell us some more . . . By the way, this is just a story/fantasy/fairytale, but don't ever leave someone tied up and gagged, not even for a little while. It's extremely dangerous. One question: OK, I understand Mary is angry that it appears Irene (her "friend") is going to carry Phil's child, the child that should have been hers, but how did she ever get the courage to fight with/split from Phil, her "master" who heaps humiliation on her and she gets off on it ("I finally came when he pissed on my face . . . ")?
Truly evil. I cringed when I read this. Mary needs help. Fast. She's very unbalanced and has no redeeming qualities. She uses her friend, knowing her husband is on the make and then calls her a slut. And she takes revenge on her. Irene and Eric should have runned from this poisonous couple. Evil bets evil.
enjoying a very interesting story, and BAM!! I don't have a clue any more. This was off the wall strange. I'm not sure if I even want to read a part 7, if this is the direction the story is going to go. I did not care for this chapter at all.
it would be a good story if you stop fucking around with it.write the dam story and get it over with.like you enjoy yourself talking.
one that knows who they are and what they are doing. Phil is a prime asshole, nothing more, nothing less, just a piece of nothing meat. Eric is a love sick fool, who may grow up this time, maybe. Irene is simply and purely a pure slut. Betraying her best friend, betraying her husband, and finally betraying herself, and has been. In all likelyhood Mary will eliminate Phil, after all the worm does turn. And Eric needs to grow up and throw out the trash. Maybe Eric would be better off getting a boyfriend, he has no idea how to pick girls.
...makes me long to be around sane people, and authors. You took longer to say, "Phil tied me up and made me watch while he and Irene did it by the pool," than I could have imagined. It became rather boring after about 45 seconds and left me wanting to get on with my life and forget about the story. Stringing the reader along is not always a good thing, as in this case.
You earnrd it with the quality of your writing. This is a very well written story! It gives me hope that my English will one day be as good as yours. I do find the situation with Mary and Phil to be a bit forced, but it does force the story where you want it to go. I love the depth of your characters and the humanity they show.
This story is like a Onion, peel away one layer and another surfaces! Keep it going, but please keep in mind that its a story in parts, so don't make it to difficult to read with some pauses in between.
Thanks for writing!
sorry this chapter added nothing to the story.
In chapter 7 ERIC gets ganged raped by Klingons women....
I am STILL waiting for an RATIONAL explanation as to why ERIC got beaten almost to the point od death by Eliene's "friends" at the end of Chapter 3
why after all Eilene had put ERIC through would a smart guy like ERIC (who at that point in teh story has FULL knowledge of Eliene' lies and whoring) simply walk away with a large black Man and get beaten in an alley?
oh thats right!!! ERIC is a white straight DECENT man that believes is Love maariage and responsibility... and therefore is of course the ENEMY of the gay movement..................
Irene is a goddam whore as was ERIC's his previous wife... and Mary is a cowards .. the only perosn in these chapter who isnt an total 1st class asshole is the straight middle class decent MAN... and if you read the authors BIO and her others stories the ONLY type of people that get hurt and crushed are straight men.
in
Dear Angique:
So many of us, so strongly moved by this painful story! It's a testimony to how skillfully you have created the characters that we care so much about what they are going through....
Best, ohio
This started out as an interesting if confusing cheating wife story but at this point, I have to agree with Cbank13. I can't figure out where this story is going. There seems to be no consistancy to the story , best friends become submissive bitches and Eric the only likeable character in the story becomes totally intransigent and refuses to listen to anyone. I give up on the story.
60 year old George
I sure was surprised by this turn of events. Mary is one mean lady. Irene, hopefully, has the smarts to discover a way to keep her and Eric together while Irene thinks about continuing her affair with Phil and admits to years of slut sex with him before Eric, the love of her life came along. After all she has admitted to being a slut at heart.
HEHE, so many ways to go with this one, KEEP up the good work and keep the twists coming. This story can definitely be one long novel, I LOVE IT!!!!!
unlike others, i like the last 3 more than the first 4. your characters are well developed.
the letter "E" is well deserved. one of the few in this site who can certainly write.
Frankly I hated this part as the story goes down to the dumps. What if not a thinly veiled morality tale of the noon time soap opera variety. Let’s watch the ill fated lives of the rich and the corrupted. Yes they are immoral. Yes, they go chapter after chapter through all the sexual deviations that we normal boring people just read about in the encyclopedia. Yes they seem to enjoy their life more then we do but hey, they will be punished and they are all evil and they all suffer!
No need for much logic or development in this format. What is the next fascinating depravity we could expect to hear next week? How about submissive males making it with small pets? Or how about harder S/M in larger groups? It does not really matter, as long as we don’t forget the mandatory tearful confession of one of the sinners, this can go on almost to the last entry of the Encyclopedia of Sexual Pathology. How fun can that be (and all written in wonderful flare and style).
phil is a asshole that what the writer keep saying.irene is a slut and mary is a slut.eric is what?that what i'm trying to fine out.is he the punching bag of every scumbag in the story.when is he going to become a man and destory phil and whoever bothers him.been a submitive man is crap in life.keep piling the shit on eric and he will be gay shortly.
This "story" is dying of its own weight. No one cares what's happening in the story line any longer, least of all me.
Whats all this nonsense about what happened to Irene and the baby did eric finally divorce her why throw all of this Master crap into the story you never mentioned this before in the other chapters why now why didnt you just end it saying Eric Divorced Irene and him going on with his life.
Pat
Atlanta,Ga
I find it amazing how the first several chapters almost sounded as though they'd been written by a good writer. But then came Chapter 4! What an amazing read, and it continues now through Chapter 6! It's almost as if the story has been written by two separate authors........the earlier Eric and Elaine story, and a seemingly, at least to me, more accomplished author when Eric met Irene. Maybe all of that speaks to the writing abilities of angiquesophie. Congrats on the "E"! This has been a very well-written story, that easily keeps my interest!
yeah is all of this neccessary? The only thing that im getting from the story as of now is that all women are evil bitches and your better off becoming gay. Can't you just end this story, have eric divorce irene, settle the score with irene, mary, and phil, and then marry i nice man or women and end it already?(at this point unless it starts to make sense again I just want it to end).
It's hard to be entertained by less than expectation or possibility.
It's difficult to maintain interest in something that advertently demeans and disgusts when more is possible.
When higher than average ability and imagination persists in male humiliation as the primary issue in their storyline it is a a waste of space and talent except for the very few into male demeanment and helpless inflicted pain.
But this writer has chosen the lower balance as her mission in this rambling sinkhole of lessor humanity however coyly sensitive she tries to make it.
Is this your excitement writer?
No matter, still highly deserving of 5*****'s. Thank you author!
What the fuck happened here???
This story is really nuts and I think its gonna get worse before it gets better. We'll see...
Your writing skills are fantastic! But your thoughts remind me of the playground area at Micky D's, balls flying everwhere, kids screaming and just total chaos. Maybe you need an electronic syphoning device tapped into both sides of your brain merging it into something that makes a little fucking sense. I'm weak I gave it a 4.
Before you add any others? I am guessing you do later on, at least I hope so. How about a lil justice or revenge for Eric, or the hinted demise of arrogant boy? OldBear.
Congrats. Great Chapter. Four out of five. That was very unexpected. It surprised me and I like surprises. It seemed to fit perfectly into this story. I am not normally a restraint, torture and domination guy, but this was so well written I enjoyed it. I still have no idea where this story is going. But now I'm not taking anything for granted. after I write this I will look at the other comments and see what they say.
I thought it was starting to get a bit lame until the final chapter, but the devious twist really put a different perspective on the whole story.
Well done.
wow! Another character study. Another soul demented by sexual perversion. All three woman are different aspects of a similar problem. Can it be solved? I'm not sure. Amazing tale. Five stars. Will we get the first wife's perspective? We got a bit of it via the note, but would love the whole story.
I really enjoyed your creative word play but thought it a bit overly dramatic in places. That said, I look forward to reading the rest of your tales.
Like many fledgling writers attempting to develop their own skills, I study the work of countless other authors, as well as the comments and more importantly the feedback both from yours and my own poor contributions to date. It is a shame that so many anonymous commentators are quick to denounce and provide nothing constructive in their venomous bile.
This one had me confused until I realized it was Mary's part. I couldn't quite understand what she was trying to convey. I did like what she saw between Irene and Phil, and the way Irene tried to explain it to Eric, quite a contrast in both tales. 2 hours of lovemaking and then she tells Eric that she was caught by surprise. I think that at this point Eric should take a step back and examine himself. 2 cheats in a row? He must not be doing something right. might want to take some lessons from somebody.
You made me hate her in a single chapter, I feel sorry for her, but there is no pity in my heart.
You wrote a BDSM chapter and actually made it a Loving Wives chapter.
In the range of LW stories here Mary would qualify.
I thought I was following the story - but now I am entirely lost.
"Why do nice women fall for bastards? Why do they betray their loving, devoted husbands to have their slutty, short-lived desires satisfied? "
Because they’re NOT nice woman. They’re entitled lying cheating cunts. Women fall for bastards because the LIKE them and they make you wet…Women marry nice guys because they’re safe, devoted, caring and most of all dumb stupid shits who believe every lie that spews out of their sluty mouths. But they still are attracted to the bastard bad boys.
What a wonderful, fun loving, caring cast of characters you've created here. These people make the dregs of society a garden party.
Your mind terrifies me, but I would love to share a drink with you in a nice busy Irish pub with lots of people around. It’s the only way I would feel safe but I bet it would be interesting... I still can’t remember the end to this damn, story. So I’m reading more.
Good guys finish last..The world is filled with too many unsavory characters, to not try and protect yourself both physically and emotionally.
This story would have been compelling if it had ended at the end of Chapter 3. This is my third read-through and I always wonder (until I get past Ch. 3) why I don't count it among my favorites. I now realize that my liking for the story diminishes after Chapter 3. (Sigh)
wow, what a tangled web of lies, liars. sort of like the kinky bondage and viewing of her BFF getting taken
Yep, this story definitely jumped the shark. Or, the author was stoned and hallucinating and mixed up her stories? Or… whatever
Stop trying to write this stuff when you’re high, Hunter S Thompson got away with it Philip K Dick as well to a lesser extent, you? Not so much.
IMG. This depraved. Utterly sick!
I would wonder if our author is reflecting herself in her female characters. If so I sincerely, and I mean that, gets help.