- All
Comments (2) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Nice start
Liked the approach, but really wanted to know more about the guy - seems a complete mystery.
Definitely needs a sequel.
Elle
Very Pleasing Romantic Encounter
I hope you will pardon feedback from a newbie.
I really enjoyed your tale. Nice, slow build and plenty of romantic ambience. The climax was very exciting without ever becoming vulgar, and I enjoyed the easy flow of your writing style. Overall, a simple but very effective 1st person account.
The only issues I had were very minor. First, your character indicates that her man was a virgin before she met him, but it is unclear just how she knows this. Presumably he told her so online, but she appears to accept it without question - especially considering the fact that it is an issue for her. This isn't a huge thing, although making it a bigger factor in her nervousness preceding the first meeting might give it more impact. Also, the man she describes seems awfully attractive to have never been with a woman before. Again, just a bit more exploration of this virginity element might have made it more effective.
Finally, when your character is roused from her flashback at the red light, you include quoted dialogue from both people in the same paragraph. Goes against standard format for dialogue usage in literature, and makes the paragraph just a bit confusing at first glance.
Very good story, despite these nitpicky observations. You have a nice command of language and excellent understanding of narrative flow. Look forward to reading more!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Reunion or
More submissions by CeriseNoire.