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English
like it
good frist story keep it going
Not bad at all!!
Not bad for a first-timer, not bad at all. Good story, believable characters. You could probably use a proofreader for your final drafts, as you stumble over your grammer in a couple spots (little stuff, really). Unless I miss my guess, the author seems to be either reliving a memory or taking a real moment from memory and writing a different ending to it; either way the sex was probably very hot but comes off a little mechanical in this story. Try to get your hands on an erotic thesaurus, see if that doesn't help a little. I would also like to see a sequel to this, maybe the forgetful boyfriend getting his nose rubbed in it.
What do you mean - not bad?
It is GREAT!!
Way to go....keep it coming.
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