All Comments on 'The Preacher Man'

I have been reading since before i started kindergarten in 1984. I read chapter books by 1985. I love reading and this is by far the best and my most favorite story yet. it intrigued me and kept me at the computer for 1 complete day. Thank you and I'll continue to read your works.

Grabbed my attention and forced me to spend half a day instead of studying. Not that I regret it ;D best reading I had for a long time. Keep up the good work!

It was great. Spent a day reading it and then thinking about some of the ideas raised in it. A wonderful story and very well-done. Thank you for giving it to us--

Simply one of the best things I've read recently. Insightful, intelligent, and well written. Please keep writing.

And it was marvelous how the story was epic, not just erotic. I'm hoping that you would write a side story on how Michal and Dodi regained their long term memories. I wondered whether Abby was culled after Ilias' death or she was spared after the huge changes. Personally, I think that right before he died, the Guide came to her and offered to die with him. But that is merely my pipedream. Thanks for a great story.

it took me almost 8 hours over two days to read this. i hope you come out with more stuff. an idea for a sidline would be if maybe you could expand on this new society 1000 years in the future from where the story was written

Took a good half day to read this and WOW! Very creative, descriptive, and an overall enjoyable read!

Wonderful. I have paid good money for far worse reads. I look forward to reading your published work when your novels hit the shelves.

No other way to depict such an epic story. more, more please

Please tell me this story does not exist only on literotica. Please tell me you've sent it to every publisher you can think of, or at least to an online publishing company. I was so engrossed in this that I scrolled through all the sex, because I was so intent on seeing what happened next.

I've been reading stories on Literotica for at least three years. With VERY FEW exceptions, none has captured my interest like this. And not for this length of time! This... is a masterpiece. Took me three days, at 3 hours a day, to finish this thing. Bravo, Hammingbyrd7.

I do really hope that you have had this published.

From the detail that you went through in setting up the story, the environment, the societial details...it's brilliant science fiction at its best -- allowing us to view our own prejudices and moral failings through the prism of a parallel society.

Amazing Story!

I was enthralled by this story! Matter of fact, I got in trouble with my significant other, I could not stop reading. Anytime you want to pour that much of yourself into a story I know a few folks that will read it......besides me. Again, Thank you!!

Definitely worth publishing as a real book; by far the best hear. And I'd buy it even after having read this

a superb story, and indeed quiet worth publishing. if you do decide to publish it, which I highly recomend, you'll find it highly advantageous to edit out most of the sex, flesh out certain parts a bit more (particually the later part of the civil war) and generally just edit and refine a lot. That said, try a couple different publishers and the book's sure to see shelves.

I never expected to read a story such as yours in the medium that is Literotica. I enjoy science fiction, and your premise is a marvel....I really became enthralled. You managed to create a real emotional attachment to the characters and the plight of the world.

Thanks for a great read. Once edited, I would certainly buy this book.

I have nothing left to say after all these comments, your stories are absolutely mindblowing. As another person did, i've also paid good money to read stories as well written and amazing as this one. Keep them coming and please try to get published!

The detail in the story is great. It is an excellent novel. Great story-telling and excellent plotting. I do hope u got this published. Great Story.....

One of the best stories I've read in a fairly long while. Very creative, well planned, and brilliantly written. Excellent.

The quality reminds me of the HBO series Rome.

This will probably be the best story i've ever read for free.

Of all the stories I have read on Literotica, this is absolutely the best. With some minor editing (especially to fix the typos) this could easily be published. I highly recommend you get it edited and submit it to a SciFi anthology.

Great work!

FANTASTIC

Great story!

This was superb. I'd buy the book. Really incredible.

it was so nice you fused all aspects in Literature! If this would be a book, I'll buy a thousand copies for it! Make more!

I can definitely see this expanding into a series of novels. Well done.

I've never felt the need to comment on a story on this site, but your work is without equal. I would urge you to publish this story. Over the last three days reading this, I have been constantly thinking about this world you have created.

Thank you very much for your work.

This is the most impressive piece of literature I have ever read on this site. If this is not published it will be a crime.

As a lover of science fiction and alternate realities for over 50 years, I have NEVER read anything better than this, including Heinlein, may he rest in peace. He was the first to put sex in SF and yours is better by far and will be acceptable in today's literature. You might want to flesh out some of the charactors when you publish this as the monumental series it would be. His Lazurus was used in how many books? Congratulations on being an emerging force in Science-fiction authorship.

This is an exceptional piece of writing for this site. Some of the chapters were disjointed - but with more work and editing - it is a very powerful novel that you should try to get published- well done!!

Wow! Where's the book? I'm wiping the tears from my eyes. Found this story yesterday, read until bedtime, rushed home from work to finish the last 10 chapters, each one better than the last! Kind of like Asimov, Heinlin and Clark rolled into one. I'll read it again slower of course. Almost passed it up looking at the title. Very good and not just a little scary to think about in the world today. Please keep writing more!

First of all, that was a THOROUGHLY enjoyable story. In every way. Thank You.

Two things stand out: Your use of numbers is very well planned and implemented, but the usage is too dense for the volume of story you have. I think you can keep everything you have, and even add some more, but you ought to think of letting this story breathe a little more - maybe 5-10% more length, including more of the Book of Bel'Dar and more of the story of the war between the refugees.

Secondly, I'm not sure I have a firm grasp of the motivations of the "bad guys" of this story - the health faction, or the 84th ruler. I'd like these entities to be explored more thoroughly, and I think an excellent way to do it would be to expand your method of writing this as a Holy Book, and expand on the excellent first-person narrative with some objective-third appendices.

Finally, make sure you find someone to proofread your work. It was MORE than acceptable for self-publishing to a website, but I think that if this were a cleaner manuscript, it could be ready for submission to magazines, etc.

GOOD JOB! Keep writing!

I loved the story. VERY much. I really like how much effort you put into making a real culture and world. Kinda too heavy on the numbers. But otherwise wonderful.

Dy Far this is by far the best story on Literotica

numbers all over the place, most of the story seems to be a sort of history lesson with no dialog or action to move things along.

Stilted speeches instead of conversations.

Definitely not publishable for profit.

I'll give it a 7 out of 5. Couldn't stop reading.

Speechless !!!, Many Thanks... and please continue!!!

Never in my wild imagination to read such as this breathtaking story. Characters emotion as well as details of story plotline,... What is i think of simple Priest story turn into such a fantastic what is "perfect" future world be like.

You are absolutely is on of my best author so far !!!

Nice job. What a huge amount of work you put into this. I especially like the tenderness of many of the sex scenes and the dscriptions of locations.

The plot could use a bit more complexity. It gets tiresome reading about a knight in shining armour who can not do any wrong in the eyes of the people he saves.

My Kudos to you are humbled and ridiculed by the fact that I can never dream of writing something as complex and beautiful at the same time.

Your vision of lifen in the future and how they are based on social criticisms of the present and our history are so balanced yet not judgemental.

As an Arab I was also fond of your uses of the good and bad of some of our cultures, and I found them to be adequately tongue in cheek that they were not offensive (not to me anyway).

You maintained a spiritual hope to humanity while seriously attacking hte corruption of organized releigion, Kudos here too.

All in all I wish to echo the accolades given to you by the others. I had thought that Kinetic was a masterpiece, this is even better.

I still think that you seriously need to consider publishing and mini series on TV. Your descriptions were so rich that I was able to live the action through your words and see the scenery.

well done

Wassim Haroun (wassim@conserconsulting.com)

I liked the story so much that I wanted to finish it as soon as possible. Its just like a paper back novel I cant put down.

Too good... lot of effort an be seen on it... most of the stories i have read lift of something from fantasy books in circulation ... why so much from the muslim customs is something i would like to ask ?? The most famous fantasy fiction author who has used something on the similar lines would be frank herbert. The class system and virgin thing was out of this world... kudos waiting for the next one:0

Amazing story, so very deep, I was even looking forwards to returning from holiday so I could continue reading your story.

Definitely gave me a Dune feel, which is a very good thing (not just similarity with religion, but the development of the main character, the massive plots to change the world).

Your whole storyline was so incredibly well detailed.

I seriously think if you toned down the erotica parts and got this published it would beat many commercial sci-fi books.

Loved the last couple of pages, really nice way to end the story.

Thank you for a great story (story doesn't even do it justice, thank you letting me witness this adventure).

Best story in literotica. Although a bit hasty in the end, it's definitely publishable material!

PLEASE submit this to the various SF publishing houses. Given today's attitudes on sex you won't even have to tone the sex down very much. This is the best of the stories you have here on Literotica and by far the best thing I've read on this site. I almost didn't read this one because of the title and description (Theocracies frighten me), but decided to take a chance. Glad I did. Now I'm going to read the Preacher's Daughter.

This is definitely a best seller! couldnt stop till I finished the entire story! No less than Tolkiens and Rowlings of the world!

I don't know where your day-to-day talents lie - but you might consider swapping them for writing (if you haven't done so yet ( on the other hand, making a profession out of a hobby can seriously hurt the attitude toward the hobby))

I liked it a lot, but thought - quite as others - that the end was a bit hastend. But only slightly.

A true masterpiece with a lot of plot - and steamy interludes, just a perfect mix.

Please continue writing, we will all surely enjoy

with highest regards

Shaya

a work of art that i can read over and over and still enjoy. the level of detail is very intricate, and the characters descriptions and wordings were very easy to imagine. a definate best seller, if were to be sold.

I love every bit of it, the wordings, the numbers, the sex even the dialogues! Although for others this story could get boring and i mean those who don't have the attention span of a genius.

Anyway, if you thought of writing a new sequel or a new story, please write it NOW!

this doesnt just appeal to the people interested in sex, anyone who can find th time to read this would love it. the ending was amazing. it mae me cry and truly appreciate the grace of god

After having read kinetic, I didn't think your writing could get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong, this story was incredibly well written, and while it may not have gotten me off, it did me one better, It stimulated my mind.

This story is so incredible. After ten minutes of reading it, I could tell that it would be better than Kinetic or even your Tesseract trilogy. The sheer scope and complexity of the civiliztion you designed is breathtaking. I was fascinated at the political, traditional, and theological complexities of the society you wrote about. I found myself late out the door to work for several days, just because I got lost in the tale. A true sign of great work. I can't wait to read the sequel...

I fell in love with all the wives especially Abby! :) Your writing is magnificent!

One of the top stories on Literotica!!!

With all due respect to Literotica, this story belongs on a best seller list in the book stores of the world, and not only on an online story website!

An incredible story. I believe entirely that it could be a best seller, if published.

Amazing, simply amazing!

This story is amazing!

I wish there could be a film made.

You are an incredible writer, I hope to read more of your work in the future.

It is such and amazing story. It made me cry and lol at some moments. The whole thing really touched my heart and the main character, Ilias, is so cool. If that guy was real... I'm surprised that this isn't a published book, its so well writen. kudos to you

after reading some of your other writing i was looking forward to this story. on the whole it was well written, and had an engrossing theme, but i'd just like to point out you need to keep an eye on your tenses at times - sometimes you would switch tenses mid-sentence!

i understand the sort of narration you're trying to achieve, but perhaps it would read much better if you were to include a present perfect/present perfect continuous tense 'explanation' of current events as a sort of separate section at the start of chapters, then continue the story in the usual past tenses. otherwise, reading your stories can sometimes be quite a frictious experience! ;)

though thoroughly enjoying your engrossing novel, for that is what this really is, i see a pattern emerging in your writing style. all too often you just stick with the story that you had at the beginning! basically there are no plot twists or character developments. i really enjoy your pros but come on give the story a little life please! other then your ineffective use of plot development i thought this was a great effort by you but i expect greater from such a talented writer such as yourself. keep on trying and hopefully i will be reading a real novel by you and enjoying it as thoroughly as this read had occupied me.

This novel ranks among the best I have read in the science fiction genre. The world that you create is unbelievably vast in its scope; and the characters are exceptionally expressive and believable.

I sincerely believe that you would find this novel on all the bestseller lists, soon after you publish it...if you ever choose to do so.

Congratulations on writing a truly interesting and unique work of science fiction. This was a very engaging story that I had a hard time putting down (I don't agree with the commenter who claimed that there was a lack of interesting plot development). I really encourage you to look into getting it published, or possibly writing a screenplay version. I have no doubt that it could become a very popular work if it were to reach a wider audience.

Great feel good story, really pepped up my mood.

This was an excellent story. When will it be published? Good luck!!

I've been a lover of good Sci-Fi all my life. This story, with or without the sex parts, has to rank high on the all-time "Wow" list. The incredible complexity of the society in the story is truly amazing, yet the story manages to "keep it all together" very well. This is truly a genuinely fine work of literary fiction.

Not your usual Literotica fare but well worth reading. Quick wank fodder this is certainly not. It may well be an hours reading before you get to the first of the many beautical, sensual & very sexy bits but these are not what this story is about. It is a professional quality full length scifi novel (46 pages) about a well thought out future dystopia.

It does have many horny sex scenes scattered throughtout the gripping plot but the dystopian civilisation is the primary plot. You will need to put in a proper bit of reading effort but the effort is highly recommended as it it is WELL worth it.

This may be one of the greatest stories I have ever read.

'Erotic Literature' or not.

You should totally expand on it a bit more and publish this one day.

I would totally buy a copy.

wow that was one long story.

I really loved the first part and was thinking 'this should be a book' but about half way it started to get a bit too long and complicated

Anyway i kept on reading, there were up and down parts.

overall:

great story line

Great caracter building

Very inventive

Just didnt like the last part very much

I think it would be worth 9 out of 10

Keep up the great writing and good luck ;)

i previously thought that the 'Conflicted' series was the best that i had ever read, but this has to be rated above that...........miles above......

I think it might have been mentioned once or twice before... but your story is really, really good. ;-)

The only criticism that I can think of, is that your protagonist Ilias is a bit *too* perfect. He never seems to get angry, doesn't have a mean bone in his body, is totally selfless, and has independently evolved a system of morality that would be the envy of every sensitive New Age guy.

Sometimes I just like a bit more ambivalence in my heroes.

Still, I'd be totally prepared to hurt a bunch of fluffy kittens if I got your writing talent in exchange...........

Immensely riveting story with an amazingly complex structure that you managed to pull off superbly. Easily worthy of publishing, Thankyou.

this story is the best one i have read by far

I'm sure you've heard this before, but just to add it one more time--this was incredible. I read it in less than 24 hours, and could barely put it down the whole time. Most definitely could be published!

Made effective as a story by the humanity of the characterisation as much as the ingenuity of the plot.

Better than a lot of the published SF i have read. Well-written, sympathetic cross between Dune and The Handmaid's Tale. Would need some work to be a publishable novel, but still miles beyond anything i expected to read on this site. Good job!

I started reading this yesterday afternoon and couldn't stop. The hybridization of the religion was well thought out.

Well done. Is there an online version of the Nebula or Hugo? No matter.

If Literotica had a tip jar system I'd tip you a couple of bucks for this. So would a few others - pretty decent beer money anyhow.

You spent forty-fucking-six pages on your very own *Ender's Game*, you create a whole new universe, populate it with believable characters and an fascinating story, and you put it on fucking *literotica*?

Your main character has SIX wives who are, as you like to put it, super horny for him and despite 46 pages of story the sex is seldom longer than four paragraphs and has not one fucking group sex scene?

And you end up gluing people to their screens despite that, with your superb writing? You've got balls man. Kudos to you.

Mr. Hammingbyrd7,

Great story - most of the congrats and criticism already commented is agreeable to me - one question - is there any scientific basis to much of the technology described? For example, page 22 you have described nuclear fusion between Hydrogen with Boron-11 isotope. How true is this - is there any way you can forward a hypothesis without the actual proof?

Arthur C. Clarke had a hard time convincing his publishers when he and Stanley Kubrick were trying to publish "2001: A Space Odyssey". The publishers and editors kept asking him/them for some hypothesis for the fantastic supposition of aliens having trained humanity in early part of or evolution. The way one human managed to reach the aliens and the how of it. He/they had to continually point out to his editors and publishers that the only experts in this field were the author(s) of the book. In the preface of the book Arthur C. Clarke even called Stanley Kubrick a latent mathematical genius.

Anyway if that is true of you, I wish many people like me happy reading and good luck to you - keep your muse and share these fantastic ideas with the world.

Thanks for a great story.

Sincerely,

RK.

Please, please publish this. I spend money every week on Amazon for SF/Fantasy novels that are no where near as tight and well conceived as this one. Promise all of us who spent our time (me nearly 9 hours) reading your sensational writing. Promise to publish, start looking for publishers as I am sure they already plan to start looking for you!! Congratulations.

A really great story, and an absolutely fantastic read. The one criticism I have is that the sex in this story seems to be rather shoehorned in - I think it would have been much better if there was not the expectation for it to be a erotic story from the beginning.

I went into this thinking I would find a hot sex story. Instead I found one of the most creative and interesting sci-fi stories I've ever read. I strongly urge you to find a publisher if you already haven't because this story is easily in the top ten sci-fi books I've ever read. Thanks for the great read.

I can't believe this is not published already - deserves national recognition...

I loved it! I stayed up very late two nights in a row to finish it -- I couldn't put it down -- and I highly value my sleep.

I read a lot of sci-fi and this compares with some of the best. When are you publishing it? I want a hard copy so I can reread at my leisure.

Have you written anything else that's published? I want to read it/them too.

allusive1@live.com

One of the better books I've ever read, and I've read thousands. I read straight through barely stopping to eat. By far a gem among a multitude of mediocre efforts. PLEASE get this published. It is beautiful.

This is a great work, and should be widely read. I agree with the other commenters that you should find a publisher, and soon. The sex scenes do seem gratuitous, however -- I realize that the relationships between Ilias and his wives are crucial, but the amount detail is not necessary to the story, and is in fact distracting. I was annoyed that I could not read the story as a story, because it was so often interrupted by erotic passages; but I was also annoyed that I had to scroll/click/skip along if I wanted to get off. Minimize the sex and you'll get the readership you deserve.

Please, I beg you, find a publisher. Extend your novella into a novel, expand on some parts, and basically fill in for the sex scenes, because this is the first book since the LOTRO Trilogy where I actually stayed up to finish it, and that's saying a lot!

If you removed the sex scenes, you'd have an absolutely amazing novella on your hands. Go find a publisher!

I would like to leave a few comments, some positive, some critical, that hopefully would be useful to the writer.

This is a large piece of text with obviously large amount of work put into it. One can see from the very beginning that it's written by an intelligent person with broad imagination. It captures attention of the reader very well. The intrigue - what's going to happen next - is well maintained throghout the text - which is a vital quality of successful popular literature. I am not very familiar with the publishing business, but I guess that it would have a fair chance of success if published.

In my view, the largest shortcoming of the text is its inconsistent quality. The framework of this imaginary world is very well thought out - the social order, the virginity drugs, the advancement in the social ladder, the culling system, the religious practices - this is written very well. On the other hand, some pieces of the text on relationships, political advancement after the lion ride, sex scenes, description of environments feel as if they were written very casually, just from the top of the mind. For example, very frequently the wives of Illias are described: "She was so nice!", "She was so brilliant!", "She was so beautiful" and so on, but their personality traits are not developed.

The second serious shortcoming is consistent abuse of probabilities. Many events that happen in the text are not impossible, but very unlikely. The first wife, which he meets by chance, turns out to be a brilliant historian. The second one, met by chance, turns out to be an exceptional engineer. The third one, chosen as a mathematician, turns out to be a genius in physics. Illias a number of times just just escapes certain death. With very little experience he easily outsmarts political opponents, who have hundreds of years of political experience behind them. He escapes the organized bears that never were organized before, just because he finds sufficient ammunition and friends to assist him. And so on. After a while it does not feel believable anymore, it just feels like wishfull thinking.

Well, it is unfair for me to criticise a text that is way better than most of the writing here, so I should stop here. To the author : if you are planning to rework this text and would like to get some more feedback from me, you can write to me at sexpromile@gmail.com . In any case, thanks for fun I had reading, and I wish you a lot of fun in your writing.

Couldn't stop reading, it's absolutely a capturing story. Couldn't put it down and was sorry to see it come to an end.

No idea if you ever tried to get it published, but sure would love to read it again then.

Thanks for many hours of enjoying reading this!

Great Story - after "My Party" it's the second story of yours I read. Absolutely loved it. Now going to read the sequel - Really looking forward to it. Have u published any books yet . Would definetly buy them - if I knew where to get them.

find a publisher for this book and write more you really have a great gift

The story was great, then it started to take a heavy feminazi undertone. Men= evil overlords. Women = naturally genius scientists and mathematicians. Evil overlords (men) willingly enslave their mothers and sisters as sex slaves. Meanwhile scientific advances halt (because men are bad at science) and religious 'Dark Age' is endured until a white knight swoops in to save the day. He's tough, smart, and cries a lot. Oh, and very powerful (aka rich). With the help of rebel women they topple the evil man-structure. Women who chose to age and work the land rather than become sex objects. Yeah, and strippers are doing it for the tuition.

I read maybe to page 11, and I have to say, I'm not that impressed. The main character is a classic example of a Marty Stu and the fact that there is quite literally NO effective antagonist to counter him makes this less than entertaining. I'm not going to bring in the other 35 pages, because it wasn't quite good enough to get me there. This is by no means badly written, but once you get to the point where Ilias is just kicking ass all over the place with his unlimited supply of Amazium, that, my good writer, is where I don't give a crap.

And to mention to the other posters, this is not as good as Ender's Game, regardless of what you think. I'd go into my reasons, but I think there is a character limit to these posts.

To the author again, the idea is amazing, but the feminist death-hammer (courtesy of a previous poster) and the Perfect Character ensemble make this not worth reading. If I wanted god characters I would read the Bible. Again, great idea, great worldbuilding and great set up. Bad choice of character archtypes, thematic choices and the dialogue wasn't too great either.

I'd have to say...3/5 because the overtones and Perfect Character finally killed this for me.

BEST STORY EVER!!! I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN!!!!!!!!

This story is four years old, and a quick Google search shows no indication that it's been published. That is a shame. I'll send you a "feedback" about how to get in touch with at least one publisher who will definitely read this story.

The biggest problem here is that the book is not in the form of a paperback I can take to bed. Reading on a computer sucks, and more pages are needed to give several characters more development.

Great:

- The context. Epic, detailed, interesting, full of insights into our world. Shocking to discover this on literotica.com.

- The proposition: Epic misogyny. Far fetched, but interesting! Let's the reader be disapproving and at the same time titillated.

- The names. This is important!

- Ilias. Humility, empathy, insight, observation. He _shows_ it. Fabulous!

- Abigail, Shephatiah, Michal (at first). Great characters, great interaction

- Shootout with the bears. I was seeing the movie.

- Fails to achieve Cunif Califar. Great scene.

Here's what I'd like to see fixed up:

- On this site, you should fix the typos. These got more numerous later in the story.

- The references to time, sun angles, and geographical location. I LOVED THESE! For several I could visualize the relationships you were describing. Not so for others, they could be fixed.

- You have an epic story, and it is hobbled by the same problem that hobbles so many other epics: how do we tell so many characters apart? They must be distinct like well-loved furniture in my living room.

- Plot: what happened with the battle of Babylon?

- Bears: There is some back story here.

Good story. Not great and full of errors deserving of an editor. Lots of fun for some mental masturbation about a variety of neat concepts. Great work on setting up a viable setting and culture.

Disappointed in the lack of diversity and reality amongst the female characters. No depth of character to be found, they are all shallow, bubbly, and eager. It reminded me of Heinlein in that he puts all of his female characters on a pedestal as well. I'm here to say there are just as many foul and mean spirited women out there as there are men.

I enjoyed it very much, but in my professional opinion it would not make it with a traditional publisher.

What a surprise to find work of this magnitude in this forum!

The world you created was impressively developed.

I was quite impressed by the detail in this tale of a theocratic dystopia.

The religion/politics that you created were staggeringly detailed and intriguing -- eternal virgins, anti-aging drugs, citizen levels -- all loosely based on the premise of Islam gone bad.... Lovely, and pertinent.

I also loved reading a work of science fiction which actually contained *science*

I know that with some revisions this could easily be a best selling work of science fiction.

There were, of course, some significant plot holes -- or rather more accurately, interesting sections that never went anywhere:

- the Bears! The battle with the bears was very exciting, cinematic in fact. But I really want to know more! Perhaps when Ilias trains with the guard much later in the story they could involve bears again instead of moving on to Antarctica?

- Political advancement post riding the lion was a little hazy... although I did enjoy the return to the boy's montesary.

- Ancient/modern names of cities could be reinforced. When I first encountered them I didn't pay enough attention to ancient/modern relationship. It was difficult to know what to pay attention to and the amount of information was staggering.

- character development of Ilias & his wives.... they were all a little too perfect.

-Shit or get off the pot! Is this A) a literotica toss off story or B) science fiction? It seemed to suffer from schizophrenia. If it's A: for god's sakes please throw in some group sex! If it's B: you may want to minimize some of the sex for the sake of the narrative.

Concerns aside (and I only mention them because this is such an impressive novel) this is hands down the most developed story on literotica.

Thank you.

aside from some needing an editor and maybe some clearing up on the political system its an amazing story. it hits on a personal level the level of repugnance that humans can fall too. dont listen to any detractors, this story is amazing and expanding it is what it deserves

I've hardly been able to get anything done around here. Better than I expected to find by far.