All Comments on 'BDSM Open Communication a Must'

Educational, enlightening and hopefully an eye-opening essay for those wanting to experience a D/s or M/s relationship...from either side.

A thought - doesn't this apply to all relationships?

After reading this my first thought was, even though, this may be a contractual relationship... isn't this "cheating" because there is a "secret sub", then to further read that the submissive was not to ask questions at all (or did I not understand this part), seems to be the "wrong" kind of control for a BDSM relationship.

How can there be trust and open communication if a submissive cannot question his/her Dom, especially in training, because there are bound to be questions.

Thank you for your comment, but I think we're both saying the same thing. As I read my old post - boy its been a very long time - I wrote back then:

"The second part of the question is the one that I have the most trouble with since it deals with the "secretive" aspect. I cannot fathom a true, self confident, Dominant needing to have secrets. I'm not talking about maintaining confidence, but keeping secrets from His submissive. It's like putting land mines all over the path you yourself are going to walk, and letting time erase (as it will do) the location from your mind. The energy required to keep things hidden from your submissive is disruptive to the natural flow of a relationship."

I do not think that lies, secrets, and avoidance of issues is the way to build a relationship that is as intensely personal as one in BDSM.

Perhaps, as you point out, I need to be more clear in my meaning, and for that comment: I thank you!

I wish you well

Master_N_Mentor