All Comments on 'Fantasy Come True'

An editor would help here (then again, an editor helps most times :). You switched from "Jess" to "Jenn" for example. Also, I couldn't figure out where they were. At Jess/Ted's house? But then why did Drew bring him home? It's not a bad story of getting the two together, but there some threads left hanging; if they'd been tied off, the story would have been a bit better.

there were errors that interferred with the story. another was "toe", which resides on a foot, when you mean "tow", to pull along. If I may, I'd like to make another suggestion-write your story, put it aside for 3 days, then reread it. Many errors will pop up then. It really works. If you pick the right editor, by reading their talents, you can also get one that not only corrects grammer and spelling, but one that can help with the story line, too. Please try one or the other.