Wharf Rat

Unresolved

If the same guy knows August and Bonnie Lee and they're that physically close to each other, it seems cruel not to help them meet each other again. Who knows what would happen, but it would be interesting and maybe they could find some closure. Having the protagonist know that they still long and regret and not doing anything about it left an uneasy feeling for me that overshadowed the rest of the story.

I agree

I agree with "unresolved", preceding. Such a story would have to be carefully written to avoid being a sappy happy-ever-after story, but it would be a nice way to bring closure to the loose ends. And after all, even in real life, sometimes hurts are healed and people are rescued.
Nice work. Very nice.

-- KVK

Uhmm, Jack

I'm kinda split here.

On one hand I'm not sure I agree with the "selfish" parts of the story that seemed to imply he was selfish for not wanting her to hang on to things given to her by a previous boyfriend that reminded her of him.

I can see where one person might be upset that someone was hanging on something that reminded them of other boyfriends or girlfriends. Like they might feel if the current relationship might not work out they have a safety net. Some folks might hold on to things because they don't understand that it makes the other feel uncomfortable. If you don't agree with me, ask a woman sometimes how she would feel if you proposed to another woman, gave her a ring, broke up with that woman, met a second woman after the breakup, proposed to the second woman, and then gave her the same ring you gave the first woman. You can't tell me you wouldn't understand why that woman might get pissed at you if she ever found out you did that.

On the other hand I can understand that they were acting badly. Well at least they could have talked about it instead of both of them getting mad and him storming off.

But I can't say to me it made much sense that he would get worried that she would do the same thing her aunt did and meet and sleep with someone because they had a fight. I mean if he felt that much panic at the thought, it kinda makes me wonder why he had so little trust in her that if they fought she was going to go make herself feel better by sleeping around. Or breaking up with him. It doesn't make me think they will survive the long haul.

I know it was a romance story, but it seem kinda wierd to me at times

-Risq

Very nice!

Looking at the consequences of others to keep from making similar mistakes, good lesson! Some of the previous comments have mentioned putting Bonnie and August back together, DON'T. She is now married and doing ok, not great, but ok. Seeing him as he is now would be devastating to her, all the regrets and self blame. He would not want her to see him now, he is fatalistic in his view but a meeting would take whatever pride he has left. Leave it like it is, a really good story.

Good story and lesson...

We've all been there and done this at some time or another. Great story, Jack.

Great

Enjoyable story. I wish the hero had gone back afterwards and tried to help the old drunk or at least to thank him.

Boyd

Sounds like the story of my life

I've been a deadhead, and a drunk too, for a long time. Thanks for the story! My Bonnie Lee is the mother of my children and I'm tempted to send her this story I doubt she'd appreciate the erotica in it. Maybe it can be a blueprint to draw from. I truly still love her but can one change the past?

Pleasing as usual

Nice story, thanks jack.

Love and Fate

Bittersweet, Jack. Well done.

sweet

Love the casual way you worked the song's lyrics into the story. Always was one of my favorite Dead songs.

write a bunch of other songs

into stories (dead songs i mean of course)

good story bad ending

the cliff hanger with the aunt ruins the whole story.

It was a good story. It would've been better had you brought the Aunt and the man that helped him back together.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

A nice little tale of holding on to the one you love no matter what it takes....nice one