Good start. Though the family fall-out between the mother and daughter could have been fleshed out a bit more.
I await the next installment with hope. It can go in many directions from here, though I'll offer the usual caveat in that a reconcilation after the betrayal that has been inflicted would be very difficult, would take considrerable time and certainly some professional counselling. Just saying that in the hope that this doesn't become another "unrealistic reconciliation" story of the type that enrages many readers.
by
Anonymous02/14/07
Great So Far
So far I have enjoyed it. Obviously, it would be nice to know more about how this really happened. Was the brother being honest in his description? Etc.
Reconciliation is possible, but more information is needed before we can see if it is reasonable.
Looking forward to part 2.
by
Anonymous02/14/07
Drama!!
well, that surely is emotionally charged. cant wait for the next chapter.
by
02/14/07
Tension, pain, pathos - this has it all!
This is a well crafted story with quality writing. I look forward to its continuation.
This is a good start so far, I just hope that you don't force some sort of hokey reconciliation, at any cost. What she & the brother did was so egregious, how could Del ever accept what happened, in light of the facts you've set up, w/out being some sort of balless wimp, who if he did reconcile must be not only gutless, but masochistic as well. So he could wallow in his misery, "oh poor is me", rather than taking charge of, and getting on with, his life, instead of somehow taking back a cheating slut, w/, of all people, his brother. My top score was based on the presumption that you would not allow such a reconcilation to happen. I've enjoyed your work so far, in any event.
by
Anonymous02/14/07
great story line
Nice line--Don"t rush the conclusion --Let her "stew in own juice"--too many women think like her --His brother oughta commit -suicide
I don't know who the 60 year old guy is. I was 60 quite a while ago and I like it! As is always the case, I appreciate the time, talent and energy you put into writing and I'm anxiously waiting for the next installment.
come on folks...It is so fucking obvious? the reconciliation at all coast train is pulling into this station. I mean look who the author is...
=========================================== ==============
CONSIDER THE WORDS HE SAID TO HIS WHORE WIFE & BROTHER.... the absolute certainty.. how they are both DEAD to him... yet he has still MONTHS later has NOT filed for Divorce. WHY??? of course the initial focus is on JIM and the hospital but a few months have paased and even STILL the husband has done nothing!!!!
===================================== ===============
look at these words....cant you tell where CELT is going? ........................."As far as Paula was concerned, I had no idea of what she and John were doing. I supposed they were living together in the house. I didn't care. Or so I told myself. ..."
============================================ ====
or this... the doctor tells him that PAULA's absence was NOT the cause of the Brian Stroke. Already the Husband is equivocating...
--------------------------------- -----------------------
I can see it now... at some point JIM struggling to find the words asks WHY his mom and dad arent together...
booo hoooo
================================================ ===
WHO WHOOO CHOOOO CHOOOO
by
Anonymous02/14/07
Commentators..Please mature
I think story writing is an art and the author has done a wonderful job of it! What kind of stories do you guys want to hear? Wife cheated..husband punished! great!!! There even I can write the story you want to listen in 4 words. But a story is about a story..a scene..a plot... complicacies in human life..which are much more than a cheating wife and a enemy brother! So my dear friends please grow up and read the stories as author intends you to. DO not abuse him or his intellect.And guys..tell me what's wrong with a mother asking to take care of her child? Everyone commits a mistake and is entitled to be forgiven!
TC: Not deigning to accord myself the ability to read minds or foretell the future as apparently at least one other commenter has indicated he possesses, I look forward to your next chapter. (PP) I found your story to be very credible. I thought the husband's actions were reasonable and realistic. I especially enjoyed your depiction of his emotional turmoil. To consider pursuing a divorce while one's son hovers at death's door is nothing more than skewed priorities. For a husband and wife, regardless of personal feelings, to cooperate in facilitating their son's recovery can hardly be considered each capitulating to the other in their marital discord. To think otherwise would be absurd. (PP) It would seem that besides trust, honesty is wanting here. His brother explains that the indiscretion was a one time thing, but his recorded message belies that statement. Seems you have a lot of "splainin" to do in the next chapter. (PP) For what it's worth, I would be inclined to see this marriage end. If this affair were to have been a one-time-only thing, I believe there would exist some wiggle room for reconciliation between husband and wife. But if it were a prolonged affair, I'm inclined to see a marital dissolution. Brother is history regardless. One time or not, one brother cuckolding another is heinous. For a wife to engage in a continued intimacy of that nature is unforgivable. If you do choose reconciliation and can actually make it palatable, more power to you. Most important to remember, it's YOUR story.
For sure, this old impotent will make this storie a tell of reconciliation and forgivness...that s all about his age....when you have to take care of nephews you forget about pride, trust,love,marriage and faith.
No preoblem...ill no read the next chapter so i canot become angry and tell him some dirty names...like i say:what a wimp may write about???
by
Anonymous02/14/07
Harry harry hairy - a little slack is in order
Harry - lets postulate a little. Don't you think an Author this good wouldn't keep all options open until he had to begin to close to 1 course of action? If for no other reason but to sustain interest to as many people as possible. It also sustains a plot path and overall story purpose. If he told you what was going to happen at the beginning would anyone find reason to keep reading?
Harry - Please take a maturity pill and sit back. Most of us will wait to see how credible the story unfolds then cast appreciation or rocks from our viewpoint.
I think the Author has created and delivered a very impressive foundation for whichever direction he chooses to take but the mortar is critical. I will admit he has built the wall of infidelity and disrespect towards him very high. To dismantle it with just a few words and a short time would destroy any attempt at credibility and believability. Given the Author's talent this could be one of the best Marital Consequence Theme Stories ever.
We shall see Harry - try not to get your rits in a tinger till then.
Thanks Author - Please make it credible for us and particularly Harry - maybe.
but the fact that after all this time and given what w his wife did and how justsifiably angry the husband is ..... that he not even talked to a lawyer is VERY odd agreeed?
I hate to wait for installments! This story is very well crafted and while the situation is uncommon, who wants to read about the common everyday tragedy? I admire the way you show his control, with slippage.
Well, written, tense and very open ended. I do think I'll comment on Harry's question about going to a lawyer. Part of what gives this story a gritty edge of reality, is that the hero isn't perfect.
He has never wavered in his determination to divorce. Still, he's human. The source of irritation is removed, he's not in the house with his wife, but he has bigger problems than a divorce.
I know that there are men who can get all their ducks lined up under incredible pressure, but most of us just try to get through. Then there's the all the nastiness that goes with a divorce of this kind. I think he can be excused for doing a little procrastination... or perhaps to use a psychobabble word "avoidance." After all, all the divorce accomplishes in this case is the legalization what has already happened.
Very well done Celt, now get the rest of it posted... or send me the raw copy... hint hint hint.
Just rip his heart in several pieces and ways for a start! Son critical and wife screwing around at the same time, you could have just hit him between the eyes with a 2x4, it would have been less painful. Great story, I hope the rest comes fairly quick.
by
Anonymous02/14/07
next you tell us the boy isn't his
the boy is his bother kid.writer his woman can't love her husband as we know love.there is to much water under this bridge for this man to take her back.even the daughter don't trust her and her selfishness might have hurt her son.where was the son coming from before passing out,did he see mom and uncle.there a whole lot of writings, but no details.
Interesting hook. I look forward to the remainder of the story.
I see where Harry's already beating his drum. That whining of his really does get old, listening to the same tired bleats and groans, story after story.
Heart-breaking first chapter. Del was hit hard from many directions.
At this point reconciliation looks to be an awfully long road to tread, especially because of having Del’s brother involved. That said, reconciliation is possible provided that 1) John seduced/pursued Paula, 2) it was only the one incident of sex, 3) the reason Paula left John’s bed was because she regretted it immediately, 4) Paula had decided to never do it again after that one incident, and 5) Paula was already remorseful about what she did before she even came home that morning. It is possible for reconciliation but it will take some superb writing by the author. I am looking forward to read how this works out.
Regardless of how it works out between Paula and Del; John should be banished from the family forever. John did something that is unforgivable to do to your own brother.
PhillipinNorcal -- NO i am NOT a mind reader but I am pretty good a reading clues. First THE TIME LINE.....
page 2 says that its 3 weeks after the Brain operations and JIM was STILL in a coma. THEN some time later... 1 week ??? 2 weeks?? JIM wakes up. THEN they decide JIM needs Home care... so now its at least 5 or 6 weeks after the EVENT / and wife cheating........
and he has not even Talked to a Lawyer? come on am I REALLY being unreasonable ????
======================================
the story opens with this from the author ****A tale of two people who loved each other but didn't notice when things began to go wrong. It happens all too often. ****
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OK what has the Husband done wrong? ?!?!?! CAN ANYONE SHOW ME... ok maybe he worked too much. God what a crime.!!! since this is suppose to be about 2 people in a amrriage........ I am PUZZLED by this.
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by
Anonymous02/14/07
What a gripping story
... and isn't it great that so many of your commentators are able to predict the ending after only one chapter? Harry, in spite of your insufferable raving you have made just a few valid points in the past - this is not one of them. All I can say as a 63 y/o father of 4 is that if any son or daughter of mine was in that situation, nothing else would matter for the time being. NOTHING!
Keep it up Celt, this is shaping up to be a good one.
Excellent work has aways Celt!!!! Looking forward to the next chapter.
HARRY, you seem to think of yourself as an "expert" on ALL of these type stories so WHY don't you write one yourself and let everyone have a shot at you???? Personally I'm sick of your opinions. It's beyond me why the writers put up with your crap. You know it all so put your writing where your mouth is or shut the hell up.
... that literotica is set up to only record one vote per IP address per story, otherwise Harry's three comments will skew the rating on what was otherwise an excellent start to a story.
The husband has learned that his wife has been unfaithful; that his very own brother who he idolized was her lover; his son has, firstly, hovered near death, and, secondly, faces extensive rehabilitation for yet undetermined brain damage; and you want him to take time out to retain a divorce lawyer? Harry, all of his energies and attention must be directed to his son and his son's well-being. The opportunity to pursue a divorce is always going to be there. Trust me, the lawyers aren't going anywhere. Harry, if and when he does initiate legal proceedings, it's certainly going to be trying for him. He has been forsaken by two of those closest to him. Is it really necessary for him to experience a parent's, a husband's and a brother's nightmare simultaneously? Do you really think this has anything to do with manhood?
by
Anonymous02/14/07
Tough one for me
Damn this brings back memories.1984. My son.15years old.Brain anueyrism.Almost died.He's the best that he can be,but he's disabled and still at home.He's the best son a "mother" and "father" could have.Celt,could you please give this a happy ending?If you can't,I'll understand,but an alternate ending would be nice.Almost losing a son is beyond imagination.But that and losing your wife and marriage would drive a normal man crazy.By the way,I'm a big fan.Have all your stories on CD.Thanks
Of course harry is right - why are people arguing?
Unless the author is just trying to set us up with the little clues/inconsistencies, there will be some major shifting in attitudes in part 2 (or 3 depending on how long it is). The husband will accept that its mostly his fault for working too much. Or the wife will reveal that she knows about all his affairs (told to her by the brother) and was just getting back at him. Or maybe the husband will just decide that life's too short not to spend it will people who seemingly hate you and have no qualms about stabbing you in your back. Its gonna happen and its gonna happen in an instant. The author will forget how deep a hole he dug for the wife in this part. He will forget how hurt the husband was. He will forget all the husband's thoughts/feelings about betrayal by those you love, etc. He will reduce it down to 'If I dont forgive her, then Im just a blustering asshole who is letting his pride get in the way'. Even though Im going to hate it when all this comes to pass, I really think this part was good. It was really, really good in fact. The hurt, pain, anger, shock and sadness come through very well. The emotion and detail that this author puts into the setup/discovery/revelation are part of what makes the reconciliations sometimes seem out of place when they happen. Hardly matters what the author comes up with in part 2 that she used to justify her actions (and the husband uses to accept the blame). Chances that it will get the wife out of the hole he put her in are very slim imo (not impossible and this author is one with enough skill & imagination to surprise me and sometimes make a believable ending I didnt think possible). Even if I think I know what's coming, I can only vote on whats here so far, and this chapter is definitely worth a 5. Thanks for writing.
by
Anonymous02/15/07
100 for this?
the cheating wife saying "I've not seen [meaning sleeping with him] your brother John since that day you two spoke at the hospital" WAS A "BOMBSHELL"???? what nonsense!
A bombshell is something like, "Errr, honey, I'm pregnant. John and I --- of course, you didn't know about it, as I didn't want you to find out about it --- John and I did it,,, youknow, just once,,, He was feeling bad and I was being very helpful and was comforting him,,, and then he was being REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pushing and even when I said NO time and again, he persisted,,, and so I gave him, VERY RELUCTTANTLY, you MUST KNOW!!!,,, and it's only ONCE,,, but I am now pregnant, and I know it can't be yours, because your had, err, your,,,, years ago..."
.... NOW THAT'S a bombshell!
this story by thecelt is bad; but it is nowhere as bad as "Consequences --- April",,, that was so bad, I will not even make any comment,,,,, this one gets a 25; if I comment on the other one, by thecelt, I like to give a negative rating and since I can't do that, I will refrain from making smart-alec comments on the other story, except to note it here like this
...that the conclusion has the earmarks to be a reconciliation at all cost story, this part of the story is alright by me.
The only part of the story that I started to hate was near the ending where the husband started making jabs at the wife about her cheating, and he started thinking "Hey I'm being a selfish jerk with all my comments, I'm upseting my wife needlessly, and I needed the doctor to put me in my place to show me how selfish I'm being". Now that is paraphrased, but that's kinda what makes me believe they will get back together too. Someone this deeply betrayed, having a son with brain damage, really won't feeling all that much emotion for the person who did him so wrong. But with the way the son is going, it feels like the son will be used as the vehicle to get them back together.
For now, I have to say this part was actually pretty good. And I too will try to refrain from telling the future regardless of how I think the clues in the story will lead me to believe it might turn out. (^_^)
The Celt is one of the best at setting the stage for this type of story.I have always enjoyed his work and read some of his stories over and over instead of some of the junk that some folks try to pass off as fiction.
Lets be for real. Your kid is in the hospital fighting for his life. Are you really going to take time out To set up a divorce? Especially when you're giving her most everthing?
HELL NO! All the interpersonal relationship garbage can wait! Take care of the child, nurse him back to health and help him progress as far as he can. Then get a divorce.
I've been accused of being a reconcillation at all cost kind of author. It depends on the phases of the moon and how the urge strike me when I'm slaving away at the keyboard to produce a work of fiction (for free) for the masses.
Some people like your stuff and some don't. Life. But at least we try to produce something. Not just whine because it doesn't fit your perceptions of how the story should be written. If you don't like it WRITE YOUR OWN!
OK Guys I can see what you are saying. I suppose some think of think that I am arguing the husband should call a lawyer 5 minutes after he found out about his cheating wife. I did not make my point clear ---that IMO enough time has passed *****5 weeks**** since the brain stroke and catching his wife cheating. In a REAL life situation yes Lawyers arent going anywhere and yes there are always time for them. On the other hand if this was a 1 tme thing and husband wants to pull back from a divorce he can always call off the divorce. But it does send a message how seriously hurt he is.
by
Anonymous02/15/07
There was no excuse for a wife cheating. No matte
r how the brother felt in his divorce. The woman went on attack at the first phone call. She was in attack defense mode. The phone call established they were lovers. Nothing has happened in the story to present any reason for the husband to forgive or to forget. Her saying she had not seen the brother isnt worth the words, she is already a liar. It appears he was backhanded by the wife wiht the doctor. He might ask a few questions and find that the wife had already arranged this, it went to smooth, she already had ducks in a row. This wife is a real winner. He ought to have the kids tested for DNA. Wouldnt hurt to force the wife to have AIDS testing since she would be giving shots and such to the son. Venting of feelings is not a jab. He said nothing untrue or totally out of line to his exwife. I say ex as no man would keep such a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater. She can never again be trusted, he is to willing to give in. Letting her have the house, keep 75% of the money, already painting himself into the poor little offended husband. Dont turn this into a reconciliation at any cost story. In real life most of those dont last two more years. She is what she is a lying, cheating, betraying, disrespectful (look at her attack on the phone), adulterous slut, nothing more (unless she took money), nothing less. Throw out the trash.
Reconciliation is not a foregone conclusion simply because the husband and wife plan on working in concert to facilitate the recovery of their son. I would expect no less than such an effort from two loving parents, no matter what their personal relationship might be. As to the husband chiding himself for the verbal barbs he directed at his wife, he's only reminding himself to get on point. Right now what matters is his son, not the pain of betrayal by his wife and his brother. Oh, he's more than entitled to feel angered and deceived. He just can't put any energy into fostering those sentiments. That energy is best served devoted to his son. Right now his life is on hold. Nothing else, including his marital and sibling issues, matters. Husband and wife must present a united front to their son at this time. Can you imagine what effect exhibiting marital discord would have on him? He has much to re-learn. Recovery, full or partial, is going to take much time and effort on his part. Parents not cooperating to help him achieve that end is probably only going to exacerbate his condition. (PP) Risq, If thecelt can pen a reconciliation that is truly reasonable and credible, he will deserve our undying appreciation for and admiration of his writing talents. (More than we now accord him.) The brother has already indicated that this has been an ongoing affair by his recorded telephone message...."meet me at our usual place." This certainly implies that their liaison was more than a one-time indiscretion. With this dual betrayal haunting this man's soul, reconciliation would not seem to be a viable outcome. I don't intend to be prescient or to be a mind reader. I just wanted to present a possibility that reconciliation is not in the forecast.
both husband and wife would be jumping, pointing fingers are those ready to condemn them(her):
"She said that place John was referring was merely the place they often meet so my loving and soft-hearted wife would COMFORTA him! I believe her and John, when they said they had sex only ONCE! You people are so stupid! You don't know my wife, like I do! I've lived with her for over 25 years; so when she said she only gave in after a lot of conjolling, pressure, baby-tantrum, etc., from John, whose wife, you remember, divorced him, leaving him all sad, with no one except my loving wife to comfort... You just don't know them like I do!"
I bet the husband would be the first to come ranting like that, with the author eagerly telling us stupid readers!
This story is well-written and moves along at a good pace. I take issue with blaming the wife for the extent of son Jim's brain damage. What the doctor says is correct, but there is another way to look at it. Had Mom been home but a very deep sleeper, she might not have heard her son fall down the stairs and she might have even slept through the phone calls from her daughter, so we might have wound up with the same outcome. Or, the ruptured blood vessel in the brain (stroke) could have occurred with Jim asleep in bed at his college dorm. It was just coincidence (bad luck) that it happened when no one was immediately present to render him assistance. I agree with some of the other comments; it looks like a reconciliation is in the works; maybe we'll be surprised but "their love for their son will bring them back together" seems to be the way it is going. I don't see how he can ever trust his wife again, promises or no promises. BTW, someone whose career is security should have kept the satchel containing the DNA evidence of his brother's and wife's tryst. It could come in very handy when a divorce is underway. I'm also surprised that our hero did not punch brother John out when he had the chance; he showed more control than I might in such circumstances.
for the son's condition is to show how angry he is. Even the husband doesnt really believe it 100% and is mostly just lashing out at the wife. Seems to me that it was a good idea on the part of the author and illustrates how hurt the husband was by the wife. Given the shocks the husband has just received, I think him rationally saying to himself that the wife had nothing to do with the son's condition would have seemed more unlikely than him laying blame where it didnt belong.
I agree that him not having to be dragged off the brother is a bit off. Even if you didnt think you could win, how could you not at least try in a situation like this? Some may say the son's condition held him back but I think that 2 very traumatic events at the same time would make him more likely to lose his cool than less.
Still think its a really good story so far even if I do have a tendency to nitpick. Just because I think the husband started calming down and making conciliatory gestures towards the wife (wrt to son) faster than I would, doesnt mean I think he's not believable. Same goes for him not kicking the crap out of the brother. Maybe Im just more violent than some people (not that Im always getting in fights or anything).
by
Anonymous02/15/07
Great set-up and waiting for the next chapters!
As many of us already know, this author is one of the best on this site. Of course the "Tlee's and idiots like Alvaron53" will find something wrong with the story because they have nothing else better to do but... Thank you author for your style & efforts that completely entertain the readers of this site as well as those on SOL. Good luck and do not worry about idiot Alvaron53 and the anon Tlee who have not posted their "obviously" perfect creations on this site. LOL
Some people forget that John said they met a lot just to talk and Paula would comfort him. John said that night was the only night that involved sex. But that still means they had a usual meeting place. Maybe McDonalds? Therapy can help a great deal and the interesting thing is that the person CAN improve for two years. Maybe more. Jim might recover to nearly what he was before the anuerysm broke. If he can believe that Paula and John had sex only the one time they can get back together I'm sure BUT the overnight bag belies that idea. It was premeditated, not a spur of the moment thing. And I think THAT will be what kills the marriage. I said to myself, as John enters the hospital room, he's gonna deck John's ass. But he didn't. Disappointed again. I personally think it is good that he doesn't hate Paula, or at least, he doesn't seem to. He is angry though. And it wil probably fester, lying in wait for release, as a storm.
The author is known to write reconciliation stories so we'll have to see how this plays out in his writing. OK Celt, looking forward to your next chapter. Soon?
And the smell is really not to my liking. But So far, it’s pretty impressive. I’ll take A J‘s comments and lower the evaluation a bit. Essentially I am agreeing with A J‘s tenet re. the upcoming 180 degrees, about face, reverse reasoning of the husband (despite the usual initial bravado, to be a time bomb towards wife and brother).I also agree with A J’s second tenet that as we read in sequence we can relate our comments only to what we have seen so far. And as in many LW stories the beginning here too is strong on the dramatic presentation of the events the emotional intensity of the characters even the plot was not predictable.
Where I have to take off some points from my score is where I found important (to the story) inaccuracies, due to lack of research on the hospital setting: 1. Aftercare is always arranged by the ward’s Social Workers not the physician. 2. In addition, no arrangement would have been made w/out pre- consultation with the husband especially seeing that he is the guardian and the one who is responsible for all insurance costs. 3. Most importantly son would never be directed home immediately from the floor. First you go to rehab for quite a while.
I would not have mentioned this if the after care meeting with the physician with all the decisions which took place there was not so important for the following chapter. It leads to the upcoming reversal of the plot direction where the husband suddenly “has to accept” his home as an instant rehab and his wife is being turned as if in a fairy tale into a Physical Therapist and Occupational Therapist combined (it probably will be used as the basis for showing how great a wife –somehow – she is).
As far as physical healing goes though, you can’t do similar skip and fast forward like that.
by
Anonymous02/17/07
my comment for this chapter
and this chapter only. this chapter is written really well. im giving it a 100.
as for the next chapters, i'll read that too. and i will rate it after i read it. not before.
It's good to see my ol' buddy Anonymous is drooling as usual. It's a real comfort to know that some things never change. Liked this chapter the first time I read it, still do. So there, big boy, take that. :P
English
OK so far
Good start. Though the family fall-out between the mother and daughter could have been fleshed out a bit more.
I await the next installment with hope. It can go in many directions from here, though I'll offer the usual caveat in that a reconcilation after the betrayal that has been inflicted would be very difficult, would take considrerable time and certainly some professional counselling. Just saying that in the hope that this doesn't become another "unrealistic reconciliation" story of the type that enrages many readers.
Great So Far
So far I have enjoyed it. Obviously, it would be nice to know more about how this really happened. Was the brother being honest in his description? Etc.
Reconciliation is possible, but more information is needed before we can see if it is reasonable.
Looking forward to part 2.
Drama!!
well, that surely is emotionally charged. cant wait for the next chapter.
Tension, pain, pathos - this has it all!
This is a well crafted story with quality writing. I look forward to its continuation.
Regards, Jack
Not a bad start
This is a good start so far, I just hope that you don't force some sort of hokey reconciliation, at any cost. What she & the brother did was so egregious, how could Del ever accept what happened, in light of the facts you've set up, w/out being some sort of balless wimp, who if he did reconcile must be not only gutless, but masochistic as well. So he could wallow in his misery, "oh poor is me", rather than taking charge of, and getting on with, his life, instead of somehow taking back a cheating slut, w/, of all people, his brother. My top score was based on the presumption that you would not allow such a reconcilation to happen. I've enjoyed your work so far, in any event.
great story line
Nice line--Don"t rush the conclusion --Let her "stew in own juice"--too many women think like her --His brother oughta commit -suicide
Another story by one of my favorite writers.
I don't know who the 60 year old guy is. I was 60 quite a while ago and I like it! As is always the case, I appreciate the time, talent and energy you put into writing and I'm anxiously waiting for the next installment.
Great start
Please don't make us wait too long for the rest of the story.
Very Good
Hope the rest of story follows soon.Thanks
Loved It
You wrote another great story. Please don't stop writing for us. :)
Loved It
You wrote another great story. Please don't stop writing for us. :)
reconcilation train at all coast now arriving!!!
come on folks...It is so fucking obvious? the reconciliation at all coast train is pulling into this station. I mean look who the author is...
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CONSIDER THE WORDS HE SAID TO HIS WHORE WIFE & BROTHER.... the absolute certainty.. how they are both DEAD to him... yet he has still MONTHS later has NOT filed for Divorce. WHY??? of course the initial focus is on JIM and the hospital but a few months have paased and even STILL the husband has done nothing!!!!
===================================== ===============
look at these words....cant you tell where CELT is going? ........................."As far as Paula was concerned, I had no idea of what she and John were doing. I supposed they were living together in the house. I didn't care. Or so I told myself. ..."
============================================ ====
or this... the doctor tells him that PAULA's absence was NOT the cause of the Brian Stroke. Already the Husband is equivocating...
--------------------------------- -----------------------
I can see it now... at some point JIM struggling to find the words asks WHY his mom and dad arent together...
booo hoooo
================================================ ===
WHO WHOOO CHOOOO CHOOOO
Commentators..Please mature
I think story writing is an art and the author has done a wonderful job of it! What kind of stories do you guys want to hear? Wife cheated..husband punished! great!!! There even I can write the story you want to listen in 4 words. But a story is about a story..a scene..a plot... complicacies in human life..which are much more than a cheating wife and a enemy brother! So my dear friends please grow up and read the stories as author intends you to. DO not abuse him or his intellect.And guys..tell me what's wrong with a mother asking to take care of her child? Everyone commits a mistake and is entitled to be forgiven!
Interesting and enjoyable beginning
TC: Not deigning to accord myself the ability to read minds or foretell the future as apparently at least one other commenter has indicated he possesses, I look forward to your next chapter. (PP) I found your story to be very credible. I thought the husband's actions were reasonable and realistic. I especially enjoyed your depiction of his emotional turmoil. To consider pursuing a divorce while one's son hovers at death's door is nothing more than skewed priorities. For a husband and wife, regardless of personal feelings, to cooperate in facilitating their son's recovery can hardly be considered each capitulating to the other in their marital discord. To think otherwise would be absurd. (PP) It would seem that besides trust, honesty is wanting here. His brother explains that the indiscretion was a one time thing, but his recorded message belies that statement. Seems you have a lot of "splainin" to do in the next chapter. (PP) For what it's worth, I would be inclined to see this marriage end. If this affair were to have been a one-time-only thing, I believe there would exist some wiggle room for reconciliation between husband and wife. But if it were a prolonged affair, I'm inclined to see a marital dissolution. Brother is history regardless. One time or not, one brother cuckolding another is heinous. For a wife to engage in a continued intimacy of that nature is unforgivable. If you do choose reconciliation and can actually make it palatable, more power to you. Most important to remember, it's YOUR story.
Great Story
It will be interesting to see how it plays out.
Boyd
What a wimp may write about???
For sure, this old impotent will make this storie a tell of reconciliation and forgivness...that s all about his age....when you have to take care of nephews you forget about pride, trust,love,marriage and faith.
No preoblem...ill no read the next chapter so i canot become angry and tell him some dirty names...like i say:what a wimp may write about???
Harry harry hairy - a little slack is in order
Harry - lets postulate a little. Don't you think an Author this good wouldn't keep all options open until he had to begin to close to 1 course of action? If for no other reason but to sustain interest to as many people as possible. It also sustains a plot path and overall story purpose. If he told you what was going to happen at the beginning would anyone find reason to keep reading?
Harry - Please take a maturity pill and sit back. Most of us will wait to see how credible the story unfolds then cast appreciation or rocks from our viewpoint.
I think the Author has created and delivered a very impressive foundation for whichever direction he chooses to take but the mortar is critical. I will admit he has built the wall of infidelity and disrespect towards him very high. To dismantle it with just a few words and a short time would destroy any attempt at credibility and believability. Given the Author's talent this could be one of the best Marital Consequence Theme Stories ever.
We shall see Harry - try not to get your rits in a tinger till then.
Thanks Author - Please make it credible for us and particularly Harry - maybe.
With Very High Regard (so far)
OK I will wait
but the fact that after all this time and given what w his wife did and how justsifiably angry the husband is ..... that he not even talked to a lawyer is VERY odd agreeed?
I have a serious problem with this story...
I hate to wait for installments! This story is very well crafted and while the situation is uncommon, who wants to read about the common everyday tragedy? I admire the way you show his control, with slippage.
Well, written, tense and very open ended. I do think I'll comment on Harry's question about going to a lawyer. Part of what gives this story a gritty edge of reality, is that the hero isn't perfect.
He has never wavered in his determination to divorce. Still, he's human. The source of irritation is removed, he's not in the house with his wife, but he has bigger problems than a divorce.
I know that there are men who can get all their ducks lined up under incredible pressure, but most of us just try to get through. Then there's the all the nastiness that goes with a divorce of this kind. I think he can be excused for doing a little procrastination... or perhaps to use a psychobabble word "avoidance." After all, all the divorce accomplishes in this case is the legalization what has already happened.
Very well done Celt, now get the rest of it posted... or send me the raw copy... hint hint hint.
Different start
Just rip his heart in several pieces and ways for a start! Son critical and wife screwing around at the same time, you could have just hit him between the eyes with a 2x4, it would have been less painful. Great story, I hope the rest comes fairly quick.
next you tell us the boy isn't his
the boy is his bother kid.writer his woman can't love her husband as we know love.there is to much water under this bridge for this man to take her back.even the daughter don't trust her and her selfishness might have hurt her son.where was the son coming from before passing out,did he see mom and uncle.there a whole lot of writings, but no details.
A worthy start
Interesting hook. I look forward to the remainder of the story.
I see where Harry's already beating his drum. That whining of his really does get old, listening to the same tired bleats and groans, story after story.
Heart-breaking
Heart-breaking first chapter. Del was hit hard from many directions.
At this point reconciliation looks to be an awfully long road to tread, especially because of having Del’s brother involved. That said, reconciliation is possible provided that 1) John seduced/pursued Paula, 2) it was only the one incident of sex, 3) the reason Paula left John’s bed was because she regretted it immediately, 4) Paula had decided to never do it again after that one incident, and 5) Paula was already remorseful about what she did before she even came home that morning. It is possible for reconciliation but it will take some superb writing by the author. I am looking forward to read how this works out.
Regardless of how it works out between Paula and Del; John should be banished from the family forever. John did something that is unforgivable to do to your own brother.
PhillipinNorcal -- Lets be reasonable
PhillipinNorcal -- NO i am NOT a mind reader but I am pretty good a reading clues. First THE TIME LINE.....
page 2 says that its 3 weeks after the Brain operations and JIM was STILL in a coma. THEN some time later... 1 week ??? 2 weeks?? JIM wakes up. THEN they decide JIM needs Home care... so now its at least 5 or 6 weeks after the EVENT / and wife cheating........
and he has not even Talked to a Lawyer? come on am I REALLY being unreasonable ????
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the story opens with this from the author ****A tale of two people who loved each other but didn't notice when things began to go wrong. It happens all too often. ****
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OK what has the Husband done wrong? ?!?!?! CAN ANYONE SHOW ME... ok maybe he worked too much. God what a crime.!!! since this is suppose to be about 2 people in a amrriage........ I am PUZZLED by this.
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What a gripping story
... and isn't it great that so many of your commentators are able to predict the ending after only one chapter? Harry, in spite of your insufferable raving you have made just a few valid points in the past - this is not one of them. All I can say as a 63 y/o father of 4 is that if any son or daughter of mine was in that situation, nothing else would matter for the time being. NOTHING!
Keep it up Celt, this is shaping up to be a good one.
Well Done
Excellent work has aways Celt!!!! Looking forward to the next chapter.
HARRY, you seem to think of yourself as an "expert" on ALL of these type stories so WHY don't you write one yourself and let everyone have a shot at you???? Personally I'm sick of your opinions. It's beyond me why the writers put up with your crap. You know it all so put your writing where your mouth is or shut the hell up.
Spitze!
I enjoy your writing, more than one time.
Deep respect
Nucleus
i hope...
... that literotica is set up to only record one vote per IP address per story, otherwise Harry's three comments will skew the rating on what was otherwise an excellent start to a story.
Let's see, Harry...
The husband has learned that his wife has been unfaithful; that his very own brother who he idolized was her lover; his son has, firstly, hovered near death, and, secondly, faces extensive rehabilitation for yet undetermined brain damage; and you want him to take time out to retain a divorce lawyer? Harry, all of his energies and attention must be directed to his son and his son's well-being. The opportunity to pursue a divorce is always going to be there. Trust me, the lawyers aren't going anywhere. Harry, if and when he does initiate legal proceedings, it's certainly going to be trying for him. He has been forsaken by two of those closest to him. Is it really necessary for him to experience a parent's, a husband's and a brother's nightmare simultaneously? Do you really think this has anything to do with manhood?
Tough one for me
Damn this brings back memories.1984. My son.15years old.Brain anueyrism.Almost died.He's the best that he can be,but he's disabled and still at home.He's the best son a "mother" and "father" could have.Celt,could you please give this a happy ending?If you can't,I'll understand,but an alternate ending would be nice.Almost losing a son is beyond imagination.But that and losing your wife and marriage would drive a normal man crazy.By the way,I'm a big fan.Have all your stories on CD.Thanks
Of course harry is right - why are people arguing?
Unless the author is just trying to set us up with the little clues/inconsistencies, there will be some major shifting in attitudes in part 2 (or 3 depending on how long it is). The husband will accept that its mostly his fault for working too much. Or the wife will reveal that she knows about all his affairs (told to her by the brother) and was just getting back at him. Or maybe the husband will just decide that life's too short not to spend it will people who seemingly hate you and have no qualms about stabbing you in your back. Its gonna happen and its gonna happen in an instant. The author will forget how deep a hole he dug for the wife in this part. He will forget how hurt the husband was. He will forget all the husband's thoughts/feelings about betrayal by those you love, etc. He will reduce it down to 'If I dont forgive her, then Im just a blustering asshole who is letting his pride get in the way'. Even though Im going to hate it when all this comes to pass, I really think this part was good. It was really, really good in fact. The hurt, pain, anger, shock and sadness come through very well. The emotion and detail that this author puts into the setup/discovery/revelation are part of what makes the reconciliations sometimes seem out of place when they happen. Hardly matters what the author comes up with in part 2 that she used to justify her actions (and the husband uses to accept the blame). Chances that it will get the wife out of the hole he put her in are very slim imo (not impossible and this author is one with enough skill & imagination to surprise me and sometimes make a believable ending I didnt think possible). Even if I think I know what's coming, I can only vote on whats here so far, and this chapter is definitely worth a 5. Thanks for writing.
100 for this?
the cheating wife saying "I've not seen [meaning sleeping with him] your brother John since that day you two spoke at the hospital" WAS A "BOMBSHELL"???? what nonsense!
A bombshell is something like, "Errr, honey, I'm pregnant. John and I --- of course, you didn't know about it, as I didn't want you to find out about it --- John and I did it,,, youknow, just once,,, He was feeling bad and I was being very helpful and was comforting him,,, and then he was being REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pushing and even when I said NO time and again, he persisted,,, and so I gave him, VERY RELUCTTANTLY, you MUST KNOW!!!,,, and it's only ONCE,,, but I am now pregnant, and I know it can't be yours, because your had, err, your,,,, years ago..."
.... NOW THAT'S a bombshell!
this story by thecelt is bad; but it is nowhere as bad as "Consequences --- April",,, that was so bad, I will not even make any comment,,,,, this one gets a 25; if I comment on the other one, by thecelt, I like to give a negative rating and since I can't do that, I will refrain from making smart-alec comments on the other story, except to note it here like this
Harry, while I agree with you a bit...........
...that the conclusion has the earmarks to be a reconciliation at all cost story, this part of the story is alright by me.
The only part of the story that I started to hate was near the ending where the husband started making jabs at the wife about her cheating, and he started thinking "Hey I'm being a selfish jerk with all my comments, I'm upseting my wife needlessly, and I needed the doctor to put me in my place to show me how selfish I'm being". Now that is paraphrased, but that's kinda what makes me believe they will get back together too. Someone this deeply betrayed, having a son with brain damage, really won't feeling all that much emotion for the person who did him so wrong. But with the way the son is going, it feels like the son will be used as the vehicle to get them back together.
For now, I have to say this part was actually pretty good. And I too will try to refrain from telling the future regardless of how I think the clues in the story will lead me to believe it might turn out. (^_^)
-Risq
Wait and See?
The Celt is one of the best at setting the stage for this type of story.I have always enjoyed his work and read some of his stories over and over instead of some of the junk that some folks try to pass off as fiction.
Lets be for real. Your kid is in the hospital fighting for his life. Are you really going to take time out To set up a divorce? Especially when you're giving her most everthing?
HELL NO! All the interpersonal relationship garbage can wait! Take care of the child, nurse him back to health and help him progress as far as he can. Then get a divorce.
I've been accused of being a reconcillation at all cost kind of author. It depends on the phases of the moon and how the urge strike me when I'm slaving away at the keyboard to produce a work of fiction (for free) for the masses.
Some people like your stuff and some don't. Life. But at least we try to produce something. Not just whine because it doesn't fit your perceptions of how the story should be written. If you don't like it WRITE YOUR OWN!
Rob Conner
OK Risq and Phillip I guess I cann see that
OK Guys I can see what you are saying. I suppose some think of think that I am arguing the husband should call a lawyer 5 minutes after he found out about his cheating wife. I did not make my point clear ---that IMO enough time has passed *****5 weeks**** since the brain stroke and catching his wife cheating. In a REAL life situation yes Lawyers arent going anywhere and yes there are always time for them. On the other hand if this was a 1 tme thing and husband wants to pull back from a divorce he can always call off the divorce. But it does send a message how seriously hurt he is.
There was no excuse for a wife cheating. No matte
r how the brother felt in his divorce. The woman went on attack at the first phone call. She was in attack defense mode. The phone call established they were lovers. Nothing has happened in the story to present any reason for the husband to forgive or to forget. Her saying she had not seen the brother isnt worth the words, she is already a liar. It appears he was backhanded by the wife wiht the doctor. He might ask a few questions and find that the wife had already arranged this, it went to smooth, she already had ducks in a row. This wife is a real winner. He ought to have the kids tested for DNA. Wouldnt hurt to force the wife to have AIDS testing since she would be giving shots and such to the son. Venting of feelings is not a jab. He said nothing untrue or totally out of line to his exwife. I say ex as no man would keep such a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater. She can never again be trusted, he is to willing to give in. Letting her have the house, keep 75% of the money, already painting himself into the poor little offended husband. Dont turn this into a reconciliation at any cost story. In real life most of those dont last two more years. She is what she is a lying, cheating, betraying, disrespectful (look at her attack on the phone), adulterous slut, nothing more (unless she took money), nothing less. Throw out the trash.
Excellent
A tight, well woven tale, full of tension, anger and sorrow. Well written - anxiously looking forward to additional chapters.
risq
Reconciliation is not a foregone conclusion simply because the husband and wife plan on working in concert to facilitate the recovery of their son. I would expect no less than such an effort from two loving parents, no matter what their personal relationship might be. As to the husband chiding himself for the verbal barbs he directed at his wife, he's only reminding himself to get on point. Right now what matters is his son, not the pain of betrayal by his wife and his brother. Oh, he's more than entitled to feel angered and deceived. He just can't put any energy into fostering those sentiments. That energy is best served devoted to his son. Right now his life is on hold. Nothing else, including his marital and sibling issues, matters. Husband and wife must present a united front to their son at this time. Can you imagine what effect exhibiting marital discord would have on him? He has much to re-learn. Recovery, full or partial, is going to take much time and effort on his part. Parents not cooperating to help him achieve that end is probably only going to exacerbate his condition. (PP) Risq, If thecelt can pen a reconciliation that is truly reasonable and credible, he will deserve our undying appreciation for and admiration of his writing talents. (More than we now accord him.) The brother has already indicated that this has been an ongoing affair by his recorded telephone message...."meet me at our usual place." This certainly implies that their liaison was more than a one-time indiscretion. With this dual betrayal haunting this man's soul, reconciliation would not seem to be a viable outcome. I don't intend to be prescient or to be a mind reader. I just wanted to present a possibility that reconciliation is not in the forecast.
Interesting set up
Excellent writing and plot. Can't wait for Ch. 02.
per Philip's quotes
both husband and wife would be jumping, pointing fingers are those ready to condemn them(her):
"She said that place John was referring was merely the place they often meet so my loving and soft-hearted wife would COMFORTA him! I believe her and John, when they said they had sex only ONCE! You people are so stupid! You don't know my wife, like I do! I've lived with her for over 25 years; so when she said she only gave in after a lot of conjolling, pressure, baby-tantrum, etc., from John, whose wife, you remember, divorced him, leaving him all sad, with no one except my loving wife to comfort... You just don't know them like I do!"
I bet the husband would be the first to come ranting like that, with the author eagerly telling us stupid readers!
Well written but wrong . . .
This story is well-written and moves along at a good pace. I take issue with blaming the wife for the extent of son Jim's brain damage. What the doctor says is correct, but there is another way to look at it. Had Mom been home but a very deep sleeper, she might not have heard her son fall down the stairs and she might have even slept through the phone calls from her daughter, so we might have wound up with the same outcome. Or, the ruptured blood vessel in the brain (stroke) could have occurred with Jim asleep in bed at his college dorm. It was just coincidence (bad luck) that it happened when no one was immediately present to render him assistance. I agree with some of the other comments; it looks like a reconciliation is in the works; maybe we'll be surprised but "their love for their son will bring them back together" seems to be the way it is going. I don't see how he can ever trust his wife again, promises or no promises. BTW, someone whose career is security should have kept the satchel containing the DNA evidence of his brother's and wife's tryst. It could come in very handy when a divorce is underway. I'm also surprised that our hero did not punch brother John out when he had the chance; he showed more control than I might in such circumstances.
Bullshit
celtie is a bigger wimp asshole than the cucks he writes about.
I think the point of the husband blaming the wife
for the son's condition is to show how angry he is. Even the husband doesnt really believe it 100% and is mostly just lashing out at the wife. Seems to me that it was a good idea on the part of the author and illustrates how hurt the husband was by the wife. Given the shocks the husband has just received, I think him rationally saying to himself that the wife had nothing to do with the son's condition would have seemed more unlikely than him laying blame where it didnt belong.
I agree that him not having to be dragged off the brother is a bit off. Even if you didnt think you could win, how could you not at least try in a situation like this? Some may say the son's condition held him back but I think that 2 very traumatic events at the same time would make him more likely to lose his cool than less.
Still think its a really good story so far even if I do have a tendency to nitpick. Just because I think the husband started calming down and making conciliatory gestures towards the wife (wrt to son) faster than I would, doesnt mean I think he's not believable. Same goes for him not kicking the crap out of the brother. Maybe Im just more violent than some people (not that Im always getting in fights or anything).
Great set-up and waiting for the next chapters!
As many of us already know, this author is one of the best on this site. Of course the "Tlee's and idiots like Alvaron53" will find something wrong with the story because they have nothing else better to do but... Thank you author for your style & efforts that completely entertain the readers of this site as well as those on SOL. Good luck and do not worry about idiot Alvaron53 and the anon Tlee who have not posted their "obviously" perfect creations on this site. LOL
Great story going here, Celt
Some people forget that John said they met a lot just to talk and Paula would comfort him. John said that night was the only night that involved sex. But that still means they had a usual meeting place. Maybe McDonalds? Therapy can help a great deal and the interesting thing is that the person CAN improve for two years. Maybe more. Jim might recover to nearly what he was before the anuerysm broke. If he can believe that Paula and John had sex only the one time they can get back together I'm sure BUT the overnight bag belies that idea. It was premeditated, not a spur of the moment thing. And I think THAT will be what kills the marriage. I said to myself, as John enters the hospital room, he's gonna deck John's ass. But he didn't. Disappointed again. I personally think it is good that he doesn't hate Paula, or at least, he doesn't seem to. He is angry though. And it wil probably fester, lying in wait for release, as a storm.
The author is known to write reconciliation stories so we'll have to see how this plays out in his writing. OK Celt, looking forward to your next chapter. Soon?
Scared Shitless
The wimp monster lurks around the next chapter or two? Just waiting for the hammer to fall and make Finny spineless.
Great Story
This is a great start to a very good story.
A new romance cuckold – wife in the air…
And the smell is really not to my liking. But So far, it’s pretty impressive. I’ll take A J‘s comments and lower the evaluation a bit. Essentially I am agreeing with A J‘s tenet re. the upcoming 180 degrees, about face, reverse reasoning of the husband (despite the usual initial bravado, to be a time bomb towards wife and brother).I also agree with A J’s second tenet that as we read in sequence we can relate our comments only to what we have seen so far. And as in many LW stories the beginning here too is strong on the dramatic presentation of the events the emotional intensity of the characters even the plot was not predictable.
Where I have to take off some points from my score is where I found important (to the story) inaccuracies, due to lack of research on the hospital setting: 1. Aftercare is always arranged by the ward’s Social Workers not the physician. 2. In addition, no arrangement would have been made w/out pre- consultation with the husband especially seeing that he is the guardian and the one who is responsible for all insurance costs. 3. Most importantly son would never be directed home immediately from the floor. First you go to rehab for quite a while.
I would not have mentioned this if the after care meeting with the physician with all the decisions which took place there was not so important for the following chapter. It leads to the upcoming reversal of the plot direction where the husband suddenly “has to accept” his home as an instant rehab and his wife is being turned as if in a fairy tale into a Physical Therapist and Occupational Therapist combined (it probably will be used as the basis for showing how great a wife –somehow – she is).
As far as physical healing goes though, you can’t do similar skip and fast forward like that.
my comment for this chapter
and this chapter only. this chapter is written really well. im giving it a 100.
as for the next chapters, i'll read that too. and i will rate it after i read it. not before.
Anonymous makes my day again. Yeehaw.
It's good to see my ol' buddy Anonymous is drooling as usual. It's a real comfort to know that some things never change. Liked this chapter the first time I read it, still do. So there, big boy, take that. :P
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