Complete crap! An 18 year old guy working in a lingerie store? Just an awful story.
by
Anonymous02/15/07
First Commentor a Moron
The first commentor obviously has no imagination or is just a moron. Your story is good, perhaps a little over detailed at the beginning, but keeps the readers attention. I also would have liked it to be somewhat longer as it was finished a bit quickly. Overall, a good first post.
by
Anonymous02/21/07
The first commenter is right
It IS total crap that a guy would work at a lingerie store. The story has its moments thought so it gets something above a zero.
maybe those other guys didn't read the whole thing.. but it does have sensuous moments. There was a well detailed build up in the beginning. It's not overly hot but there was certainly nothing wrong with the writing... Thanks.
English
Complete crap! An 18 year old guy working in a lingerie store? Just an awful story.
First Commentor a Moron
The first commentor obviously has no imagination or is just a moron. Your story is good, perhaps a little over detailed at the beginning, but keeps the readers attention. I also would have liked it to be somewhat longer as it was finished a bit quickly. Overall, a good first post.
The first commenter is right
It IS total crap that a guy would work at a lingerie store. The story has its moments thought so it gets something above a zero.
Hey.. there is a story here...
maybe those other guys didn't read the whole thing.. but it does have sensuous moments. There was a well detailed build up in the beginning. It's not overly hot but there was certainly nothing wrong with the writing... Thanks.
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